When you don't like someone

[paramedicgirl]

What do you do? Do you avoid them, stop talking to them, pray for them, offer Mass for them, or talk about them to others? Do you go to confession? Pray for them before the Blessed Sacrament?

I’ve done all of the above.

What if they are a co-worker, or someone you see on a regular basis? That makes it difficult to avoid them, and they can become a real thorn in your side, especially if they are downright rude to you.

I guess it’s all part of our sanctification process. To develop the virtues of patience and charity when faced with unkindness. It’s not easy!

 

[jpjd]

Well, in addition to praying for them, you could also pray for yourself. Pray that God helps you interact with this person appropriately.

Meanwhile, I would not avoid this person but neither would I interact with them any more than I had to. I would be pleasant, but not spineless or overbearing. Do not talk about this person to others. Take the high road, no matter how difficult. Rudeness is a reflection of that person’s character, and it’s not your problem. You don’t want to follow their example and behave like them. You just go on about your business of being the true Christian that you are.

 

[bengeorge]

Good advice. I would double underline the part about not talking about them.

 

[Augustine]

paramedicgirl:

What do you do? Do you avoid them, stop talking to them, pray for them, offer Mass for them, or talk about them to others? Do you go to confession? Pray for them before the Blessed Sacrament?

Interestingly enough, I’ve attended a seminar this week on how to deal with difficult people.

It went about classifying typical types and how to deal with each one of them as with any difficult person in general. One of the first advices is to not avoid the person, for this takes a toll on you and in a way doesn’t help the difficult person to realize or to change his or her ways.

You must be assertive in a gentle way always and hold your ground as person deserving respect, if necessary.

One thing that struck me is that there may be something in us that triggers some difficult people. Perhaps it struck a chord in me because I know I can be difficult at times too.

This is only me, who’s been through an 1h seminar on the subject for the first time ever.

 

[T.A.Stobie_SFO]

You need to consider why you do not like them.

Is it their personality?
Is it their actions?
Is it their beliefs?

There are many people that I do not like because of their actions and beliefs, primarly, because those actions and beliefs go against our God. I still love them and pray for their conversion frequently.

When its personality, (i.e some part of their inherent character which does not mix well with your personality, or competes head-to-head with your personality), you need to examine it closely, be kind and loving in your dealings with them. Sometimes avoidance can be useful.

 

[Annunciata]

Pray for them and always be kind… You must love them in Christ though. Not easy… but Our Lord commands it…“Love one another as I have loved you”…:yup:

 

[paramedicgirl]

Well, in addition to praying for them, you could also pray for yourself. Pray that God helps you interact with this person appropriately.

This is something I overlooked, if you can believe it! I always pray so much for other people, I sometimes forget to pray for myself.

One of the first advices is to not avoid the person, for this takes a toll on you and in a way doesn’t help the difficult person to realize or to change his or her ways.

I’ve seen the damage this can do in another person. Avoidance, when taken to extremes, causes bitterness in the soul.

You need to consider why you do not like them.
Is it their personality?
Is it their actions?

All of the above. This is a person who always has to have everything her way, and acts like a spoiled child. I suppose I should just ignore her rude outbursts, and consider how immature she really is. It will be a good exercise in control.

Pray for them and always be kind… You must love them in Christ though. Not easy… but Our Lord commands it…“Love one another as I have loved you”…

Praying for them is the part that comes naturally. Being kind takes more work!

 

[asquared]

St Therese went out of her way to find ways to do little acts of kindness for the people that irritated her the most or who made a point of snubbing and hurting her. of course, she is a saint and I’m not

 

[paramedicgirl]

asquared:

St Therese went out of her way to find ways to do little acts of kindness for the people that irritated her the most or who made a point of snubbing and hurting her. of course, she is a saint and I’m not

 

[5-Decades-a-Day]

asquared:

St Therese went out of her way to find ways to do little acts of kindness for the people that irritated her the most or who made a point of snubbing and hurting her. of course, she is a saint and I’m not

Isn’t that part of how she became a saint?

 

[blessedstar]

Be kind to them

 

[KCT]

Treat them w/ charity when you’re together, but don’t go out of your way to be around them! Pray for them. God sends us difficult people to make us holy. —KCT

 

[paramedicgirl]

KCT:

Treat them w/ charity when you’re together, but don’t go out of your way to be around them! Pray for them. God sends us difficult people to make us holy. —KCT

My thoughts exactly! It sure is hard when I have to work with this person, though I can limit my shifts with her to 2 or 3 a month. She never says please. She stands over people with her arms folded across her chest and says, “Can you move?” It’s like she’s so self-absorbed, she is the only person whose existence matters. If anyone corrects her, she just says, “WHATEVER!”

So I guess it’s really a matter of adapting to her rudeness. My husband says to treat her in the same way I would treat a rude child. He says she needs to be taught in the same way a child does, that rudeness is not acceptable. The only problem is, she does not know she is being rude.

 

[scared]

KCT:

Treat them w/ charity when you’re together, but don’t go out of your way to be around them! Pray for them. God sends us difficult people to make us holy. —KCT

Oh boy am I in trouble he is sent me 5 I had to sit with endour and put up with for two solid days. Praying not for me, I do try and tolerate them, I ignore them as much as possible, and very seldom talk about them. I am far from perfect, so I am probably on someones not liked list.

scared