…What do I do? I’m getting serious impressions that God has placed me on Earth to play music and sing to people. I don’t want to brag, but God has gifted me with a beautiful singing voice. I think he wants me to share this talent with people. I’m getting more and more visions of myself playing in a rock band with good people, having a blast, and making a difference with some kind of positive message that I haven’t thought of yet.
I just really feel strongly about this. But, I don’t know how it can be done.
My question is this; Is it sinful to turn away from God’s calling to me? If I can’t live this out (meaning if I don’t try) will it be a sin?
I’m imagining myself on stage playing for hundreds of people, and making their evenings.
If I read you correctly, I don’t think you want to turn away from God’s calling. Instead, your question seems to be if you don’t carry out God’s calling because you don’t know how, is it sinful?
If that is what you are asking, the answer is no. God will not blame you for your failure due to lack of means. And He will provide means if you seek after them.
I don’t think there is any sin to have our own desires. We are made with free will and free desires. The Psalm even tells us to delight ourselves in the Lord and He will give us the desires of our hearts. God did not create us to have no desire of our own. That is against His natural law. Lot of times God put the desires in our hearts. And our desires and His will are often in harmony.
The bottom line is when our desires and His will are not in sync, we ought to love His will more than our own.
When one has certain specific talent, the full development of that talent will glorify God and naturally bring a feeling of self fulfillment at the same time. There is nothing wrong with the sense of self fulfillment since that is the way the person is created. As long as we know, and do give all glory to God, it is legitimate to feel satisfied on our own part. Our comfort of self fulfillment will not take away the glory of God as long as we have sincerity of honoring God. If we make carrying out God’s will and bringing glory to God the main purpose, and self fulfillment the by-product, both may be taken care of.
As for how to make your dream come true, you need to earnestly pray and take one step at a time. A journey of thousand miles starts from a single step. May be you can start with singing in the Church Choir, then form a small group to perform in local churches and restaurants, then….
I am just giving some random thoughts. Pray and see how God will lead you.