When you're in your 80's and had 8 kids

[PennyinCanada]

My neighbors have been married almost 60 years, had 8 children. They came from large families, some siblings being priests and nuns.

In this time where people have 2 kids and get sterilized, I wanted to share what I see going on at my neighbor’s house. Aren’t you curious?

Their children are adults who have had their families, and there are great grand children.
Although they are in their 80’s, they have been in their home all this time. In the summer they get many kids and grand kids coming by. Someone is always calling. Someone shows up to cut their grass, do some painting, water the flowers. They drop by with food and grandpa always has baking (his favorite thing) around. There are always rides to the doctor appointments. In the winter the driveway and sidewalk is shoveled and cleaned. The car got new winter tires although grandpa said he didn’t need any. There’s no end to the pointsettas around Christmas and bouquets of flowers at birthdays. There are extra visitors at Christmas time, the folks who travel home for the holidays. The place is never lonesome! In fact, they find it difficult to fit in a snooze or finish their 3:00 rosary.

Grandma told me a charming story of the little girl next door who often comes over to visit. The neighbors are from a foreign country and are Muslim. One afternoon when grandma was having a snooze on her bed, she could hear the neighbors calling the daughter who must have been about the neighborhood, and it was suppertime. Well guess what, she turned over and there was the little girl asleep beside her!! When the parents found out, they were quite upset that the daughter hadn’t said she was going to see ‘grandma’ and her reply was that she thought they were family. Aaaaaawww… What a kind and loving testament this Catholic couple is to the neighbors! I wish I could have such a loving and sweet thing said about me!

When we are first married, it seems that 2 children are more than parents can handle. The cost! The time! The effort! all those things are true. We don’t think very often about what life is like when 75 comes around and those kids are there. The grandkids are there. We don’t think of the joy they bring in the sunset years when health is failing.

This Christmas I spoke to one lady who is divorced and has one son, who she hasn’t seen for 10 years. She retired due to poor health, and her plans for the Christmas holidays was to stay home and watch tv with her 2 dogs in her pj’s. What a contrast to the couple who had 8 children!

Those examples of families bigger than 4 are becoming more and more rare. Christmas time is a wonderful time to ask, “What kind of family will you have?”

I want to thank all those couples I know from church who have been married 50 plus years, had more than 4 children, and are a living testamony to a loving family life. They are indeed the salt of the earth! We need you more than ever.

 

[KellyPalmer]

Other people may not think of it but I do. I have always dreamed of a big family to grow old with. My grandparents had 7 kids all of which live in the same state, most just minutes from them. They are in their 70s now and have 21 grand kids and 19 great grand kids. So far. We all live nearby and to to their home regularly. They are devout in their Catholic faith and are surrounded by so much love and life. Oh the stories I could tell! People often want to be a part of our family gatherings so we have many more not-by-blood family that join in. I can only hope and pray I have something close to this when I grow older. Try as I might, I only have 3 kids and running out of time. Not everyone has a small family by choice. Thy will be done.

 

[bunnykisses88]

My neighbors have been married almost 60 years, had 8 children. They came from large families, some siblings being priests and nuns.

In this time where people have 2 kids and get sterilized, I wanted to share what I see going on at my neighbor’s house. Aren’t you curious?

Their children are adults who have had their families, and there are great grand children.
Although they are in their 80’s, they have been in their home all this time. In the summer they get many kids and grand kids coming by. Someone is always calling. Someone shows up to cut their grass, do some painting, water the flowers. They drop by with food and grandpa always has baking (his favorite thing) around. There are always rides to the doctor appointments. In the winter the driveway and sidewalk is shoveled and cleaned. The car got new winter tires although grandpa said he didn’t need any. There’s no end to the pointsettas around Christmas and bouquets of flowers at birthdays. There are extra visitors at Christmas time, the folks who travel home for the holidays. The place is never lonesome! In fact, they find it difficult to fit in a snooze or finish their 3:00 rosary.

Grandma told me a charming story of the little girl next door who often comes over to visit. The neighbors are from a foreign country and are Muslim. One afternoon when grandma was having a snooze on her bed, she could hear the neighbors calling the daughter who must have been about the neighborhood, and it was suppertime. Well guess what, she turned over and there was the little girl asleep beside her!! When the parents found out, they were quite upset that the daughter hadn’t said she was going to see ‘grandma’ and her reply was that she thought they were family. Aaaaaawww… What a kind and loving testament this Catholic couple is to the neighbors! I wish I could have such a loving and sweet thing said about me!

When we are first married, it seems that 2 children are more than parents can handle. The cost! The time! The effort! all those things are true. We don’t think very often about what life is like when 75 comes around and those kids are there. The grandkids are there. We don’t think of the joy they bring in the sunset years when health is failing.

This Christmas I spoke to one lady who is divorced and has one son, who she hasn’t seen for 10 years. She retired due to poor health, and her plans for the Christmas holidays was to stay home and watch tv with her 2 dogs in her pj’s. What a contrast to the couple who had 8 children!

Those examples of families bigger than 4 are becoming more and more rare. Christmas time is a wonderful time to ask, “What kind of family will you have?”

I want to thank all those couples I know from church who have been married 50 plus years, had more than 4 children, and are a living testamony to a loving family life. They are indeed the salt of the earth! We need you more than ever.

this is why i want a big family! so beautiful!! so far I have one baby and lost two sweet souls :’( very painful and right now is guarding my heart against pregnancy = ( whenever things are just right and my body heals I do pray that I have a sticky baby to love

 

[DaveBj]

I came from a two-child family, but both my mother and my father came from large families. My mother had herself sterilized after my brother was born, because both of her pregnancies were difficult and dangerous. However, in retrospect I would have liked to have had more siblings; if I had had some sisters, maybe I wouldn’t have been so awkward around women when I grew up. My wife and I followed the “two children and out” mindset, and again in retrospect we regret that. I look at my cousins, with their houses swamped with kids, grandkids, and now great-grands, and I’m just a little bit jealous. In a good, charitable way, of course

 

[Catholic_Wife]

That’s a nice story, but just because you have a house full of children does not mean they will take time out of their busy lives to come visit you and be part of your life when they are grown and you are old and grey. Children move away and make their own lives. When I was a child, I spent a lot of time with the old spinster sisters next door who taught me to bake. My own grandmothers were 500 miles and 1800 miles away. I live six hours away from my own parents; and all of my in-law’s children live at least an hour away and visit only on holidays, and just for a few hours at a time. Nursing homes are full of men and women starved for attention and would love nothing more than a visit from their children or grandchildren - especially around the holidays. I guess the more children you have, the more likely at least one of them will live close and want to spend time with you / bring the grandchildren around to visit.

And then there are those of us who dreamed of having a large family only to have those hopes smashed by multiple miscarriages for unknown reasons and a husband who won’t even consider adoption. I guess because we don’t have children, we are doomed to a sad, lonely old age with no children or grandchildren - just cats, lots and lots of cats.

 

[St_Francis]

I am very grateful for the 4 wonderful children God sent my husband and me. After that, He said no more!

But one of the things about those to whom God does send more is that there are enough “children” to do many things, among which is to care for other relatives who do not have children of their own, and enough children to care for non-relatives as well, and out of love, not because it’s to only way to put food on the table.

 

[midori]

How very beautiful. Often times, when we’re new adults and looking at starting out our lives, we don’t put value on the most important things. Thanks for the perspective.

My MIL had two sons… we lived 800 miles from her, and the other lived 1800 miles away from her. She often spoke of moving to be closer to one of them… DH was worried she would be too close for comfort, and we thought about encouraging her to move to a convenient city maybe 2 or 4 hours away… maybe half an hour at the closest…

Now, we have our kids, and she lives nine blocks away, and she’s been a complete and total blessing. We swing by Grandma’s house to “give her sugars” all the time, and eat dinner at her place once a week, and she’ll pop by to watch the kids for an hour or so twice a week so we can take some lessons in the evenings. Sometimes I need to leave town, and she keeps the oldest so he can keep an ordinary schedule while I’m taking care of whatever came up.

My paternal grandma recently passed away, and her family came together to sit with her-- about seven of her family members (her children, daughter-in-law, grandkids) were able to be there. It made me look at my little guys, and wonder who would be around me when my time came. I watched her, and felt horrible for people who go through the dying process all alone. (It was also really shocking how much like childbirth the dying process is, but that’s a different post.)

Anyhow… long post short (too late!), that was really touching to read. No, there aren’t any guarantees in life, but it was touching and inspiring.