Where is happiness in life now that I am Catholic?

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SocaliCatholic

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Ironically now that I am Catholic this Easter I am more depressed than I ever have been before, and doing anything in this world feels so pointless. I go to Church every Sunday and confession once a week. Before I converted and had Truth life didn’t make sense but it was more fun. Now I have Truth and life makes sense but it is depressing as all heck.

I see no value in doing anything anymore eating, sex, breathing, watching or playing sports, reading, making money. All for what? Pleasure comes and pleasure goes. Okay so we were not created to be happy here on earth. Does this mean that the rest of my life is going to feel this pointless and all I am supposed to do is evangelize other people to become Catholic also so they can be depressed Catholics just like me?

Where are happy non-cafeteria Catholics my age in this God forsaken city Los Angeles. What does it mean to be a happy Catholic?

Is this normal for new Catholics or is it just me.
 
Wow… to hear this from someone else is just amazing. I thought for all of these years that being a depressed catholic made me some kind of walking oxymoron - that all catholics were happy because they’d found God. I’ve been miserable and confused since becoming Catholic - every action I take seems to be shrouded in a thin veil of guilt. Everything I do brings with it the guilt of sin, everything seems tainted and vacant. Unfortunately believing in God and all that doesn’t seem to lift me out of this, which is probably the answer that most catholics would give - pray to God, and you’ll be happy. I guess hearing that you are depressed means I’m not the only one!
 
You are a 26ish person who is facing growing up. It is not becoming Catholic that makes you depressed.

Don’t worry things get better when you pass 30 years. Be thankful you have a place to live, food and clothes. Take a look at the homeless and you will be thankful for what you have.
 
When you entered the Church did you assume you would be happy because you are Catholic? Your depression comes from the fact that you are human not because you are Catholic. When I was a little girl many bad things were happening that I had no control over…I knelt in front of the tabernacle and asked God why He hated me. I cried for His help…At that moment I was enfolded in the arms of an entity of love…to this day I feel His Mother…my Mother Mary came to allow me to know I was not alone. I had to humble myself to ask for help. I am much older now…I get down over things in life that are in my control and things I can not change…but it is not God’s fault.

I have a suggestion…and I am not trivilizing your circumstance…find a Perpetual Adoration chapel…give an hour a week to God and sit within His Real Presence…feel His love for you. You are the most important thing in Your Father’s life…He is waiting for you!http://forums.catholic-questions.org/images/icons/icon12.gif
 
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lostSheep:
Wow… to hear this from someone else is just amazing. I thought for all of these years that being a depressed catholic made me some kind of walking oxymoron - that all catholics were happy because they’d found God. I’ve been miserable and confused since becoming Catholic - every action I take seems to be shrouded in a thin veil of guilt. Everything I do brings with it the guilt of sin, everything seems tainted and vacant. Unfortunately believing in God and all that doesn’t seem to lift me out of this, which is probably the answer that most catholics would give - pray to God, and you’ll be happy. I guess hearing that you are depressed means I’m not the only one!
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Yes exactly. Its like a guilt cloud following me around all day long. I despise my life. I was depressed at times before but nothing ever like this and nobody ever prepared me.

I deeply envy my long time protestant friends who believe in error, but always seem to have peace or happy more often.
 
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SocaliCatholic:
Yes exactly. Its like a guilt cloud following me around all day long. I despise my life. I was depressed at times before but nothing ever like this and nobody ever prepared me.

I deeply envy my long time protestant friends who believe in error, but always seem to have peace or happy more often.
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I am sorry you feel the way you do… I have great solice in realizing that I am not perfect, and that is okay… I have great solice in knowing I can go to confession and talk to someone about it. My Catholic faith is what keeps me going. Don’t forget to offer up your pain to the lord, he is our redeemer… I will pray for you too.
 
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Exporter:
You are a 26ish person who is facing growing up. It is not becoming Catholic that makes you depressed.

Don’t worry things get better when you pass 30 years. Be thankful you have a place to live, food and clothes. Take a look at the homeless and you will be thankful for what you have.
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I have been on my own and supported myself since I was 18. I consider myself “grown up”.

What you said is circumstancial - I should be happy becuase there are people poorer than me - Life gets good when you are over 30.
 
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TheresaS:
When you entered the Church did you assume you would be happy because you are Catholic? Your depression comes from the fact that you are human not because you are Catholic. When I was a little girl many bad things were happening that I had no control over…I knelt in front of the tabernacle and asked God why He hated me. I cried for His help…At that moment I was enfolded in the arms of an entity of love…to this day I feel His Mother…my Mother Mary came to allow me to know I was not alone. I had to humble myself to ask for help. I am much older now…I get down over things in life that are in my control and things I can not change…but it is not God’s fault.

I have a suggestion…and I am not trivilizing your circumstance…find a Perpetual Adoration chapel…give an hour a week to God and sit within His Real Presence…feel His love for you. You are the most important thing in Your Father’s life…He is waiting for you!http://forums.catholic-questions.org/images/icons/icon12.gif
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Thank you for this advice. I will try what you said and get back to you on that. But maybe you could tell me what it feels like to “feel” His love for you just in case I should stay until something happens.
 
The Church doesn’t promise happiness on Earth, but rather salvation. It’s up to all of us to make our time on Earth happy. It’s possible that you are suffering from a medical condition, or even simple scrupulosity, or possibly just having a rough time in general. Whatever the case, it’s probably not the religion that’s causing it; what you describe could be caused by 100 different things before even taking religion into account.

I myself am a clinical depressive, and I take medication daily to get by. Sometimes I still have terrible down times, and nothing raises my spirits. During those times I do often feel more guilty than usual, but that was the case before becoming Catholic as well. The important thing is to persevere as best you can, and remember to not hold your depression against yourself. You’re a human being, and depression is normal condition for us, and is in no way sinful in itself. Keep praying and going to Mass and Confession, as those are things you should do regardless of your emotional state. Don’t expect an easy fix, and remember that when you do fall, God will forgive you if you seek it, and will always take your depression into consideration.

Best wishes and prayers for you!
 
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SocaliCatholic:
Thank you for this advice. I will try what you said and get back to you on that. But maybe you could tell me what it feels like to “feel” His love for you just in case I should stay until something happens.
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Your heart will tell you…your heart and mind have to be open to His love. My prayers are with you…you are not alone in this life.
 
I think maybe we all have those “mountaintop high” experiences & “valley of tears” dreariness…open the book of Psalms & you’ll probably find one that is expressing exactly what you are experiencing now. Blessed Mother Theresa experienced a 45 year “dryness” in her spiritual life…hard to believe, isn’t it?

Hold on tight to the fire you felt on your way to conversion & Easter reception! You were sealed with the Holy Spirit, and the graces that were showered upon you that night are REAL! They may be laying dormant for right now, as you search for the right “fertilizer” to nourish them and help them grow in your life.

You asked about other Catholics in LA…I did a search for the young adult ministry in the Archdiocese of LA & this page seems pretty chock full of interesting ways to meet other Catholics (“happy” or otherwise:) ) in your area.

ya.la-archdiocese.org/Homex.htm

We are called to evangelize, yes, but we are also called to minister to each other…these ministries are in place to help young people like you live your faith fully. If you are feeling alone & isolated, then reach out & let others minister to you!

When you are feeling empty or dry, the first thing Satan wants you to do is to despair, and somehow attribute that dryness to being Catholic. Cast him aside & reclaim your faith!

(Also, have you ever read The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis? If not, you might really enjoy it.)
%between%
 
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SocaliCatholic:
Before I converted and had Truth life didn’t make sense but it was more fun. Now I have Truth and life makes sense but it is depressing as all heck.

I see no value in doing anything anymore eating, sex, breathing, watching or playing sports, reading, making money. All for what? Pleasure comes and pleasure goes. Okay so we were not created to be happy here on earth. Does this mean that the rest of my life is going to feel this pointless…
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There is likely to be a time when the things you used to love start to look pointless, because really, we do wrap ourselves up in some enormously pettty things. But if you are not finding joy in your life, look again. Catholicism is not stoicism. Pleasures are not pointless. They just aren’t the main point. They are good things that God made for you and He made them pleasurable on purpose. They are only a problem when you do not keep them in their proper perspective.

Have yourself checked for organic depression (and by what you describe, you should consent to be checked by a professional). After that, go find some joyful Catholics, find what it is that they’re working at, and join in. You’ll find that the people who work the soup kitchen have a joy and a gratitude for life – real life. And they still throw birthday parties.
 
you experienced initial conversion, and are now being called to continuing conversion and part of the movement toward the next phase of spiritual growth is the first dark night. in other words, the honeymoon is over. you entered into a relationship, a love relationship, not just joined an organization. like all love relationships, their are growth stages, and you have to learn how to deal with separation as well as nearness, and to develop deeper intimacy with the Beloved. Remember He is the lover, the initiator in this relationship. That is why all souls are described as feminine in relation to God. He initiates, we respond. It is time for a spiritual director to guide you in the very normal progress you are experiencing. Dark Night of the Soul, the poem of John of the Cross, is the classic spiritual description of this process.

Also remember that the devil always attacks when we are growing closer to God and tries everything in his arsenal to separate us from God, and his biggest weapon is our own physical and psychological weakness. John has many counsels for those in a depressed or “melancholic” frame of mind.

Do check out medically the symptoms of depression, but especially continue sacraments, Eucharist and confession frequently are your weapons and your medicine here. Weed out anything in your TV viewing, computer use, reading, companions etc. that draws you away from God and into sin. Mass, communion, confession, daily examination of conscience, daily prayer, spiritual reading, daily bible reading and meditation. The ancient spiritual practices are your friends. Get spiritual direction.
 
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SocaliCatholic:
Ironically now that I am Catholic this Easter I am more depressed than I ever have been before, and doing anything in this world feels so pointless. I go to Church every Sunday and confession once a week. Before I converted and had Truth life didn’t make sense but it was more fun. Now I have Truth and life makes sense but it is depressing as all heck.

I see no value in doing anything anymore eating, sex, breathing, watching or playing sports, reading, making money. All for what? Pleasure comes and pleasure goes. Okay so we were not created to be happy here on earth. Does this mean that the rest of my life is going to feel this pointless and all I am supposed to do is evangelize other people to become Catholic also so they can be depressed Catholics just like me?

Where are happy non-cafeteria Catholics my age in this God forsaken city Los Angeles. What does it mean to be a happy Catholic?

Is this normal for new Catholics or is it just me.
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What a great thread! I feel a little depressed too–why is it? Maybe the old saying “ignorance is bliss” means something…LOL

P.S. Where do you go to Church in L.A.??? What city???
You can PM me!!!
 
Unless some of you suffer from chemical imbalances, which can cause depression, what you are going through is normal. NORMAL! You are simply in the desert and everything is dry and dreary right now. Stages like this can last as long as ten years with little consolations in between, so few in fact, that you forget them as soon as you have them.

But here is the good news. If you persevere, you will come out of it and you would have matured spiritually even without realizing it. Then you will have a period of bliss, which will be followed with more trials. These may not be desert like dryness trials; they could be other hardships, humiliations, pain, and other really good stuff. No I am not being facetious, I am very serious. All these will work out in the end for your own good.

Beware of quick fixes that offer instant joys and spiritual consolations. These are illusionary and in the long run are more detrimental to you than helpful.

How to get through these times? Turn to God in humility and pray. Prayer in the periods of spiritual dryness is most effective. The most pleasant prayer is the least fruitful. You can also look to some of the tried, tested and true devotions of our faith. Take a look at the Imitation of Christ or the True Devotion to Mary. They are exacting and very demanding but the results are literally out of this world.

Part of your problem is, you are mourning your old lives and have not really discovered the joys of the new. Don’t give up, persevere. Read Job, se how he dealt with the blows in his life. I would doubt any of you are going through a Job like experience. But even if you did, there is good stuff for you at the end. God bless.
 
The Catholic Church is in the business of making saints. OK, what does that mean for the other 99.999% of us? It leaves us with a big footprint on our behinds from the boot of the “Institutionalized Guilt” monster.

Regardless of what you hear or read, God never intended us to go back to Old Testament times once He sent His Son to die for us. If you look at the Church, that’s exactly what we’ve done. There are more rules now, I think, than ever. EVERYTHING we do is wrong…at least that’s what they’d have you believe.

My suggestion is to take a break from this place. The ultra-conservative rhetoric you hear on this board would leave the Pope wondering about his salvation, I believe. Pray more. Read books about God’s mercy and love. Don’t turn on EWTN even for a minute, as you’ll get another dose of ultra-conservative rhetoric there.

God didn’t have to become man, but He did. Why? So He’d get the full picture of what it’s like to be human. Now, He knows. He knows what we go through. He’s less likely to condemn than ever before, regardless of what you may hear. If it’s so easy to go to Hell, as most ultra-conservatives would have you believe, then why did He bother sending Jesus? Why let Him die on the Cross if we can slip in and out of “sanctifying grace” like underwear? It doesn’t add up, if you ask me.

Go find some Franciscans to talk to. They may tell you you’re suffering from an attack of scruples. Weekly Confession can do that to you. It did to me. Now I go once a month, and I still wonder if that’s too much.

I will be praying for you.
 
Listen to me…

quit waiting for the catholic santa claus to bring you purpose and happines… lets talk what you can give, and not so much what you want to recieve…

lets talk volunteer, lets talk visit a nursing home, or some sort of charity… work in an animal rescue unit… the world awaits you, and if your lucky it won’t spit in your eye too much…

give… give… what did he tell the apostles as he was washing their feet… right, if you don’t plan on serving instead of being served… you know where i’m going here…

don’t sit there, LIVE! 👍

and don’t think life won’t hand you some mainline kicks in the kiester… ok, ok, i’m off the soap box…peace 👍
 
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SocaliCatholic:
Ironically now that I am Catholic this Easter I am more depressed than I ever have been before, and doing anything in this world feels so pointless. I go to Church every Sunday and confession once a week. Before I converted and had Truth life didn’t make sense but it was more fun. Now I have Truth and life makes sense but it is depressing as all heck.

I see no value in doing anything anymore eating, sex, breathing, watching or playing sports, reading, making money. All for what? Pleasure comes and pleasure goes. Okay so we were not created to be happy here on earth. Does this mean that the rest of my life is going to feel this pointless and all I am supposed to do is evangelize other people to become Catholic also so they can be depressed Catholics just like me?

Where are happy non-cafeteria Catholics my age in this God forsaken city Los Angeles. What does it mean to be a happy Catholic?

Is this normal for new Catholics or is it just me.
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You are going through a phase. It’s not unusual. That what makes St John of the Cross wrote “The Dark Night of The Soul”.

Take some break and do something differnt maybe that’ll relive your spirit. Just don’t be in despair. You will be easily tempted.
 
Oh my poor sweet friend! Don’t despair. This is a phase, not unlike many others that you have experienced in your life.

And of course that sounds trite. There are many different ways to look at this. A period of ‘letdown’ after conversion is normal, after all you spent an entire year as the focus of an RCIA group somewhere…it was exciting and new! How can there not be a letdown after that? The trick is what you do with it. Life is about putting one foot in front of the other and so on…but we can find joy in small things…the smile of a child in the grocery, a bright flower blooming in our path, a kind comment from a co-worker…these are all little graces…and soon you start to notice more and more of them. Pray like there is no tomorrow, never doubt that He has you in the palm of His hand.

I suggest reading St. Faustina’s Divine Mercy in My Soul. She had an incredible gift for describing the depression and solitude that you are expressing…you will feel a comraderie just reading it. Also try St. Therese de Lisieux Diary another great diary chronicling how joy can be found in the midst of pain.

Warmest wishes and prayers for you.

Susan
 
Wow this is some good advice that has been given to me and I feel a lot better now after reading all of it. Really wish I had solid Catholic friends like all of you around to encourage me and I bet I wouldnt be so depressed right now. Don’t get me wrong I am friendly with lots of people at Church but that is mostly at mass and I hardly know any Catholics around 26 years of age to hang out with. The ones I know don’t take their faith very seriously and are out rebelling. I guess the solution would be to volunteer for a Church ministry and try to network from there.
 
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