Where is the hope in this situation?

[Augustine8]

I struggle with scrupulosity I feel like I have no escape. Before you all flock to the comments and tell me to stop asking questions on here and get a therapist and spiritual director I will say I already did. I have a Catholic Counselor and priest spiritual director, but it just doesn’t seem like enough.
I have wrestled with doubts about the faith and Gods existence a lot, but right now it seems so bad. I struggle to see how something which promises peace and rest can be the cause of so much mental anguish and hurt. I know the only reason I have to go to confession is because of my sins, but Confessing then is so difficult and determining if something is a sin is so hard. Not to mention trying to avoid sin, especially sins of impurity, seems nearly impossible which only adds to the anxiety I experience about the faith. To me it seems that non believers don’t have this great burden. They don’t have to sit in the Confession line going back and forth in their mind about the sinfulness of an action, nor do they have to search the entire city in order to go to confession every single day because of their sin. This disconnect from God has made me question why some rules are even in place. I feel so lost and don’t know how to get out of this. I want to go to confession but the confession I would need to make is very difficult. I feel intellectually convinced that God exists and that Catholicism is right, but when I step back and really think, I wonder if it really is worth believing.

 

[CRV]

The reason we do not give much feedback apart from seeking advice from your parish priest and if necessary medial practitioners is because that is part of the forum rules. Not because we’re insensitive or uncaring - because we’re none of those - but due to the forum rules.

1. Do not offer or solicit medical, psychiatric, psychological, or legal advice. Do not give advice that is contrary to civil law. Do not give advice to a minor that opposes the instruction of a parent or legal guardian. All such discussions should be directed to the proper authorities: parents, guardians, therapists, parish priests, or primary care providers.

I hear your pain. You’ve described scrupulosity perfectly.

Scrupulosity is a heavy cross to bear. I’ve offered a prayer for you.

As you’d know the Sacraments - Holy Communion, Confession, and sitting in front of the Blessed Sacrament are all helpful. Jesus said ““Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”

Don’t give into discouragement as that is what satan wants. Persevere. Pick up your cross and follow Him. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, the mental torment takes a heavy toll - but in those moments pray to Him who does hear these most deeply hearfelt prayers. And keep “putting one foot in front of the other” in this Faith journey.

Nothing worth having is ever easy. And eternal life of happiness with Him is worth it, even if it doesn’t seem so when you’re overwhelmed by scrupulosity.

Live one moment at a time each day. Focus on that one moment and what is God’s Will for you in that moment. Find something to occupy yourself - volunteering at a charity, or take up gardening, or learn a language. No, these won’t solve the problem, but if the mind is focused elsewhere then this is at least a brief respite from the constant mental anguish.

Search for a book called Pardon & Peace by Fr Alfred Wilson CP, and also Searching For & Maintaining Peace by Rev. Jacques Philippe

 

[Irishmom2]

What could anyone here say to you that a priest and counselor has not or will not?

 

[meltzerboy2]

Do we give up on medicine because some people are not helped or are misdiagnosed? Do we give up on the law because it is imperfect, and, at times, biased? Do we give up on education because not all students benefit from their studies, while others go into debt? Do we give up on government despite all its injustices and inequalities? No, we don’t. Neither should we relinquish our faith because we are having difficulties. We seek help and try to understand that we must persevere because we never know when we might turn the corner and things will at last fall into place. We learn how to weather the storm and not abandon the ship.

 

[Jen7]

Does your priest and therapist k ow you’re going to Confession daily? If not, you may wish to let them know. They may have guidance about that. It is not of God that you’re running all over town in a panic to find daily Confession opportunities. As your priest what he recommends!

 

[blackforest]

I have a Catholic Counselor and priest spiritual director, but it just doesn’t seem like enough.

My only contribution is a pragmatic one, and one you may not wish to hear: Don’t be afraid to therapist-hop until you settle in with somebody. Individual therapists vary as much as individual fingerprints, and you’re doing nothing wrong in trying out others until you find a good match whose more helpful. God bless you in your healing journey!