Where is the sanctifying grace?

[ThereseS]

I just had a conversation with my sister. She is upset, hurt and somewhat angry. She has 13 children and does her very best to raise them to be good Catholics. Her four oldest children have become adults and are living outside of her home. Two of them have seemed to abandon the faith and are carrying on their lives with immoral activities. Her daughter has just anounced that she is pregnant by her boyfriend. The daughter seems to very excited about this event and the boyfriend’s mother is exstatic.

My sister is a bit angry with God. She said that they went to Mass, received the Sacraments, prayed as a family, were taught the Truth and yet where is the sanctifying grace. She wants to know why it is that Protestant children seem to carry on with their relationship with Jesus into their teenage years and Catholic teens want nothing to do with church and don’t want to talk about Jesus. It seems to her that the Protestants are the ones receiving the sanctifying grace.

My sister is not doubting the faith; she loves the Church and Christ. She just wants to know why Catholic kids don’t learn this love for Christ in the same way that Protestants seem to. Catholic teens often don’t seem to love Christ. They go to Mass because they live at home and they have to go.

I have a 12 year old and have had to re-examine my catechising methods. I have found that my daughter doesn’t seem to be real comfortable with talking about Jesus. It seems to be something that she only hears from me and my mother and sisters. The views of the world seem to more influential and the battle to combat them is not easy. I don’t want to turn her off Christ and I try to teach her Christs ways in a loving manner but sometimes she tells me that only I “think like that”.

What can be done to get our kids excited about Christ and live for Christ? I suppose as many different parents and children there are so too are the ways of teaching them.

Any words of wisdom out there?

 

[Michael_Welter]

I have three children, ages 18, 20 and 22. My oldest is married, and has two children. She, and her husband, have dedicated themselves to the Church and their faith. I am very proud of them. My other two love their faith as well.

All three of my children grew up in our current parish and went through the Life Teen program. We’ve had hundreds, if not thousands, of teens go through the Life Teen program, and I can tell you, the results are very wonderful. The teens of our parish, for the most part, grow into very faithful adults, who love the Church and have a great relationship with Christ.

I also just returned from World Youth Day in Germany, where I got see over 1 million of our youth. They are the furure of the Church. I’m here to tell you, our Church is in good hands. :yup:

 

[Pug]

No words of wisdom here, just a note that mainline Protestants can be prone to this problem as well. My family is mostly Protestant, so I’ve seen it.

 

[anne1234]

**Hi TheresaS…

I don’t have any answers for you. I don’t know why this would happen other than it is hard to shape your children the way you would want them to be. You can try, of course, but our children are their own people, and they take what works for them.

For me… I was raised in the church all my life, not catholic,
and I couldn’t wait to be “old” enough to not go.

It wasn’t God, Jesus, or the teachings… it was the people I didn’t like.

So as a result, I “left” the church as a young adult, but I never turned my back on God.
As a young adult, I may have put Him on the “back burner”… but I never denounced any beliefs that I was taught.

Now, being a more seasoned adult, and have expereinced life more so than 20 years ago… I’m married, 2 children… and I have returned to religion as being very important in my life.

I still don’t go to the church I was raised in, I still don’t like the nosy, gossipy people. So I stay away.

I raised my children in the church when they were younger, baptized, confirmed, receive communion, but because I don’t like to go often, well of course they don’t go.
I know this isn’t right.

I would love to go “back” but I just can’t. This is why I have been seeking out the Catholic church… very similar to how I was raised… and everything is new and no one much knows me or my business.

Years ago, my sister broke my mother’s heart by actually leaving the church…meaning it’s beliefs.
She went to the World Wide Church of God… the Herbert W. Armstrong group.

My mother was devasted.
And nothing my mother did, brought her back.

For me… I set aside the church when I was younger, but later came back.

I think that children who are raised in a certain way, if they leave, they eventually come back… I know sometimes they don’t, but many times they do.

We can only give our children the best we have when they are younger and hope if they stray… they will come back.
For now, let’s hope that our children who have left will remain good people, thoughtful of others and have good hearts.
Being baptised in the church, the Holy Oil they received can never be washed away.

**

 

[ThereseS]

Thanks to each one of you who replied. I did tell my sister that I think it is very important for young Catholics to have a good youth group to attend so they can be with their peers in a Christian atmosphere. I know there is a Life Teen group in her city and she did allow her children to attend for a while but because they bring all the youth to the alter during the Mass she would not continue. Perhaps some Life Teen groups are better run and more faithful to the GIRM than others. I have never attended one and can only go by the comments of others. I suggested that she let them go to Life Teen to gain from the good that is there and then go to Mass again on Sunday so that her family doesn’t lose what it is she wants them to learn from attending a Mass that isn’t loud and busy. I don’t want to go on a tangent about Life Teen because that is another topic and one I have no experience with. It is not available nearby.

She knows the Church is the Truth and she loves the Church. She is just not understanding why the youth are not more excited when they are receiving all these graces from the sacraments. I don’t know how to answer.

She has a daughter who has attended a Catholic Bible School and gone to World Youth Day in Toronto and she is solid in her faith and loves Christ. I also have a nephew who attended the same World Youth Day and he too has left the Christian life style. I know there are no guarantees and ultimately the choice to follow Christ is up to each individual.

In our conversation she was saying the Church knows how to teach the truth but somehow falls short when it comes to teaching how to have a personal relationship with the Lord. She homeschools her children and is starting a beginner’s apologetics with her family in hopes that they will learn the faith and at the same time learn to love Christ.

 

[jrabs]

There are many things we can do to help increase our ability to receive Gods grace.

Frequent confession helps open our souls up to receive this grace. Also frequent mass and Adoration in front of the Blessed Sacrament.
Your ability to receive grace is significantly reduced if one is not going to frequent confession. Once a year isn’t going to cut it.

She (you) can pray the rosary as a family - add family prayer time in a little here and there. This helps kids get used to talking about Jesus in the home freely.

The topic of more frequent mass - the Eucharist is food for our souls. You feed your body daily lest it die - so it stands to figure that your soul needs serious attention lest it die. Feed it with frequent Eucharist. Have her take the kids to sat mass. This added mass will help immensley.

Soon, she ( you) will notice a sense of peace in the house that can only be a result of God’s grace.

 

[But_for_Grace]

I know this sounds trite, but we are called to pray, pray, pray. Sometime it is all that we can do. I know, I fell away and fell far. I fell so far that I actively hated the Church, all churches. No one could reason with me because my eyes were closed. Sometimes it is only God who can call us back…

Wis 12:2 And therefore thou chastisest them that err, by little and little: and admonishest them, and speakest to them, concerning the things wherein they offend: that leaving their wickedness, they may believe in thee, O Lord.(DRB)

God is working on them, have no doubt about that, but they have to cooperate with God. Until we surrender our wills we are all lost.

 

[puzzleannie]

the sanctifying grace is there, freely available to those children since they were baptized, and will benefit them anytime they choose to cooperate with that grace, re-enter their relationship with Jesus Christ initiated by that grace, confess their sins, amend their way of life and return to the sacraments and to the community. the parents have done their job to the best of their ability, once the children become adults they have responsibility for their own lives and actions.

This does not mitigate the grief parents feel for those children who make disastrous choices for the lives, but beating ourselves over the head with retroactive guilt is not going to help our children. As I know from bitter experience our only recourse is prayer, and I don’t think a parent can survive this situation without the rosary. What I have also found out is that the death of our own parents and grandparents, which we mourn so bitterly becomes a blessing as they enter heaven and immediately begin interceding for the grandchildren. I am a witness to the outpouring of grace upon families when a loved one dies.

 

[ThereseS]

I think mostly my sister is hurting because she does all those things that people know are useful to salvation and grace; at least to the best of her ability, given she still has 9 children at home from the age of 16 to 1.5 yrs. They pray the rosary in the morning before starting their schooling, They go to daily Mass in the morning. They go to confession more than just before Easter and Christmas. The family fasts on bread and water on Fridays all year long (the ones under age 5 might get a small sandwich in the afternoon and of course the baby gets milk). When I say family this does not include the husband as he has no desire for things religious so this is an added burden. She has prayed and prayed for many years for his conversion.

In the mind of my sister there are more Protestant youth who live for Jesus than there are Catholic youth. I don’t know if this is the experience of others. I don’t see many Protestant youth on fire either. I think she is going also from the stories of converts to Catholicism and they often speak of how they loved the Lord and had a personal relatonship with Christ from such a young age.

I know her faith will not falter. She just wants to understand but I guess sometimes we just have to pray and to trust in God’s goodness and love and mercy when trials fall upon us and those we love.