Which is preferable, a memorial mass or a funeral mass?

[Abba]

My father can be buried at the cemetery in town where they will also reserve the grave next to his for his brother or at another cemetery in another town and in a dangerous location. This is all due to finances. If he is buried in town the funeral service will not include a Mass with the body present but my priest said that he will go and pray at the burial and offer a Memorial Mass. If he is buried out of town, the funeral service will included taking the body to church and so a Mass with the body present.

Would I be doing my father a disservice if I choose prayers by the grave site and a Memorial Mass versus a Mass with the body present?

Thank you for your time.

Abba

 

[Joe_5859]

I would make my decision based on the best place to have him buried, regardless of whether or not a Mass would be said with the body present. If you cannot have a memorial Mass with the body present, you can always ask your priest about having a memorial Mass at a later time. Whether his body is there or not doesn’t effect the graces received.

My condolences to you and your family in this time.

 

[philial]

The purpose of a catholic funeral is not so we can say our final farewells - that does happen, of course, and is very necessary for us to be able to express grief. No, the main purpose of the funeral is so the family and the community give witness to God reclaiming what belongs to Him. Yes, we feel grief, deep grief, but also a joy - not to be confused with contentment / happiness - that our friend and loved one has been called forth by God.

For this reason I would go for the full rites available to a member of the faithful - a requium mass with the remains present.

but God bless you, and grant rest to your father, whatever you choose.

 

[Abba]

I would make my decision based on the best place to have him buried, regardless of whether or not a Mass would be said with the body present. If you cannot have a memorial Mass with the body present, you can always ask your priest about having a memorial Mass at a later time. Whether his body is there or not doesn’t effect the graces received.

My condolences to you and your family in this time.

Thank you Joe 5859 and philial,

Joe, I appreciated your reply and thought it would be fine - until philial posted. Then I was back in the same position I was in but, leaning towards the Mass with the body present. It would have been a tough decision.

Fortunately, I do not have to bury my father in that other cemetery. The manager of grounds for the town drastically lowered the price for me given my financial situation. Now the funeral home can take my father’s body to the Mass and bury him in the cemetery in town. At least it is settled that he will be buried at the cemetery of my preference, and he will not be cremated and he will have a Mass with the body present. These are all things I had to fight for legally and otherwise and negotiate and I won them. Thanks be to God! They are what he wanted too. He should be buried next week.

Thank you both for your advice.

 

[Joe_5859]

Thank you Joe 5859 and philial,

Joe, I appreciated your reply and thought it would be fine - until philial posted. Then I was back in the same position I was in but, leaning towards the Mass with the body present. It would have been a tough decision.

Fortunately, I do not have to bury my father in that other cemetery. The manager of grounds for the town drastically lowered the price for me given my financial situation. Now the funeral home can take my father’s body to the Mass and bury him in the cemetery in town. At least it is settled that he will be buried at the cemetery of my preference, and he will not be cremated and he will have a Mass with the body present. These are all things I had to fight for legally and otherwise and negotiate and I won them. Thanks be to God! They are what he wanted too. He should be buried next week.

Thank you both for your advice.

I am glad that it worked out for you to get both. It is good to see God taking care of you in this time of need. You have my continued prayers.