Whine Whine Whine

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LSK

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Oh, I know this is part of the sufferings of Christ that I can fully participate in as a Catholic Woman but, just on the off chance that there may be someone else out there who feels like this once in awhile, I am going to admit something.

Sometimes I absolutely resent being held to a higher standard of behavior by non-Catholics than other Christians.

Let me explain - and I know I am whining in generalities this morning so don’t scold. It feels like (and I know my feelings are not always reflections of reality) if I make a mistake, or lose my temper, or do not act perfect at all times I get POUNCED on by those who are not Catholic and resent that I am Catholic.

I usually apologize and try never to offend them again. Sometimes, however, (like tonight) I want to yell, “OH GIVE ME A BREAK ONCE IN AWHILE, WILL YA???”

Then I calm down and try to remember that it is me who chose to live as an out-loud Catholic so I better be able to take the heat, in or out of the kitchen.

:rolleyes:
 
Hello,

Today’s Gospel reading should be some comfort to you:
Blessed are you when people hate you, and when they exclude and insult you, and denounce your name as evil on account of the Son of Man. Rejoice and leap for joy on that day! Behold, your reward will be great in heaven. For their ancestors treated the prophets in the same way. Luke 6:22-23
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Don’t worry, that will happen. 🙂

Sometimes those people feel bitter because the Catholic teaching pronounces as bad certain things they hold harmless and enjoy doing. Or perhaps just the fact we focus more on how a person should live, which they don’t do as much. Sometimes in their perception we don’t live up to our own standards, which makes us hypocrites or our beliefs hypocritical. This is a sad problem for them. However, when they start seeking to humiliate us or elicit some apologies from us, it’s different. We do need to stand for what’s true, so we can’t say we did nothing wrong when we did something. We should apologise when we’ve done something wrong. But this doesn’t mean we owe deep apologies to someone who isn’t even directly involved. They certainly aren’t our judged or our confessors or spiritual guides.

Depending on what footing you are with them socially, you could sometimes suggest they take another cup of coffee, mix themselves a drink, look to themselves, this kind of thing. If they love thumping quotes from the Bible on you, you can always resort to, “judge not lest thou be judged,” or, “whoever of you is without sin, let him first cast the rock.” Generally, perhaps try and take it more light-heartedly? Don’t take it to your heart too much. It’s really not worth it. Try to stay calm and perhaps employ some humour when replying to them. 😉
 
LSK said:
Oh, ISometimes I absolutely resent being held to a higher standard of behavior by non-Catholics than other Christians.

:rolleyes:
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I getcha we need a t-shirt
Mea Culpa, now cut me some slack

it never fails if I run to the store early in the morning, late at night, for an emergency purchase in sweats or shorts, I will ALWAYS meet parishioners, usually parents with children who run up and greet me in a loud voice. If I do throw on a jumper my friends criticize me for dressing so dowdy.
 
LSK said:
It feels like (and I know my feelings are not always reflections of reality) if I make a mistake, or lose my temper, or do not act perfect at all times I get POUNCED on by those who are not Catholic and resent that I am Catholic.
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I get this sometimes, too, especially from those who have fallen away from the faith, and in those cases, especially women.
 
I hear you…and sometimes feel this most from extended family members who have drifted away from the Church…but mostly find friends to be respectful and supportive UNTIL it comes to jokes, slurs and jabs at priests. It has been particularly challenging lately as we have just lost our pastor due to some scandalous allegations and a legal + diocesan investigation. We have very few facts to work with and I have nothing intelligent to offer in response to either legitmate questions or the snide comments about yet another priest going off the rails.:banghead: . It is one of the most discouraging things I have encountered with respect to defending the faith and quite frankly has left me feeling somewhat detached and alienated from the Church of late.
 
I get it too… sometimes from my non Catholic family! My brother really angered me the other day. I wanted to borrow a CD ROM of his to loan to my friend so she could copy his Microsoft Office applications onto her new computer. My dad paid for the programs and gave them to my brother and I to put on our computers. I guess it costs around $500 if you buy it for yourself. I don’t know a lot about the rules on copyright and such, so when I asked if I could borrow it for her, my brother said " Is she going to pay for it?" And I said " no, that is why I am borrowing it" and he said" Well that is a sin! You should know that! It is stealing, you as a Catholic should know better. Go look in your Cathechism." HAH! I didn’t even realise he knew what the Cathechism was? He rejects Christianity… so why does he care?

Argh it angered me. Probably because family can anger you more than anyone else can. He had a point, but the way he gave it to me was just … argh!!!
 
I get it from a co-worker that I don’t particularly get along with. I try to be nice to her but when I don’t feel sorry for her she gets mad and imagines I am judging her. When she confronts me (she is very confrontive) she always mentions that I am not perfect and I did such-and-such wrong. For good measure she throws in, “And you are CATHOLIC!!! You aren’t so perfect! You shouldn’t be doing xxxxxxx!” It irritates me to no end! This last time I shut her down quick with, “Yes, I am Catholic, but I am also human and I make mistakes, but at least I try, now could you please stop cussing at me?” It seemed to work for me… maybe you can try it too???
 
Thank you for this thread. Just yesterday I was upset and on edge because my non-believing husband judges me so severely. Since I pray, attend mass and do what I can by God’s grace to act according to His will, my husband lies in wait for every failing. This has become a real issue since his retirement and his constant presence in the home. I have a crucifix in an obvious spot in my home and contemplate it frequently and offer up the suffering for non-believers, but there are still days…

It is good to know others struggle with this issue.

Lililu
 
lililu said:
Thank you for this thread. Just yesterday I was upset and on edge because my non-believing husband judges me so severely. Since I pray, attend mass and do what I can by God’s grace to act according to His will, my husband lies in wait for every failing. This has become a real issue since his retirement and his constant presence in the home. I have a crucifix in an obvious spot in my home and contemplate it frequently and offer up the suffering for non-believers, but there are still days…

It is good to know others struggle with this issue.

Lililu
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I have also seen this “lying in wait for failures” behavior. I often feel that if I mess up (lose my temper, mishandle a stressful situation) I lose all the positive ground I have made, and I am judged for my misteps rather than the virtuous life I am trying to live. Of course, the ones who lie in wait are generally people who are very defensive about their own lack of faith, and so they are glad when we stumble. it confirms for them - “see? What good is all that religion?”

I find it helpful to remind such people that my faith does not make me perfect, and that while it is helping me to do the best I can, it also helps me to recognize my failings when I do falter, and gives me tools (catechism, spiritual guidance, confession) to avoid repeating my mistakes.
 
sandraladeda said:
I have also seen this “lying in wait for failures” behavior. I often feel that if I mess up (lose my temper, mishandle a stressful situation) I lose all the positive ground I have made, and I am judged for my misteps rather than the virtuous life I am trying to live. Of course, the ones who lie in wait are generally people who are very defensive about their own lack of faith, and so they are glad when we stumble. it confirms for them - “see? What good is all that religion?”

I find it helpful to remind such people that my faith does not make me perfect, and that while it is helping me to do the best I can, it also helps me to recognize my failings when I do falter, and gives me tools (catechism, spiritual guidance, confession) to avoid repeating my mistakes.
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Well, you know… they always have it out for #1…

Remember the “I’m not perfect, just forgiven” T-shirts?

Like I tell myself. Being Catholic is not easy. Isn’t that great?
 
**You are definitely not alone!

I am the only Catholic in my family and some are still convinced that hubby (a cradle Catholic) forced me to convert.

I feel like if I ever have a blue day then they question my faith. If I do something wrong, I feel the “I thought you weren’t supposed to make mistakes” vibe, if I get pregnant I get the “I thought you were doing that charting thing”…

but I just take things one day at a time. I know that I also have been a positive witness to the faith to the same people. I can only hope that God is using me, as imperfect as I am, to open the hearts of others…

malia

p.s.

if anyone has been watching Big Brother this season you’ll know that Jameka (a faithful Christian) has also been held to a higher standard and even outwardly attacked/mocked for her beliefs.
**
 
Well, the worst part is when I do make a mistake and I know it…it feels as though my apologies are never enough. I am trying to remember that this may be the only thing that makes some of these ‘pouncers’ feel important and it does help to remember that Jesus did promise us we need to pick up our cross and follow Him but … well, maybe we could put some wheels on that cross once in awhile? Just on the uphill parts?

Oh, and I really like the t-shirt idea, Puzzle…lololol:thumbsup:
 
“Sorry, but I have to have something to confess on Saturday or the Padre gets lonely”
 
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