Who am I now???

[Lexee15]

I am considering divorce if I do that I will also seek to annull the marriage. If I am granted an annullment what would I then call myself? Am I divorced? Never married? What? I know that this should be the least of my worries but I got to thinking about it, if the annullment means the sacrament of marriage never took place then do I consider myself never married? Any (name removed by moderator)ut would be appreciated.

 

[jman507]

I could be wrong, but you would still have had a civil marriage, that wasn’t annuled but there was a diviorce. You would never have had a valid sacramental marriage if you got an annulment from the church. On that matter the kids are still of both you and the dad and are not illegitament.

 

[Karin]

jman507:

I could be wrong, but you would still have had a civil marriage, that wasn’t annuled but there was a diviorce. You would never have had a valid sacramental marriage if you got an annulment from the church. On that matter the kids are still of both you and the dad and are not illegitament.

** Even with a civil divorce and an annulment kids from a marriage that has been annuled are not viewed as illegitmate by the Church**

 

[Lexee15]

I understand about the children, what I’m asking about is me when I fill out a form, or some asks me…so because I am divorced civilly I call myself divorced? When asked if married in the church do I say it’s annulled?

 

[Karin]

Lexee15:

I understand about the children, what I’m asking about is me when I fill out a form, or some asks me…so because I am divorced civilly I call myself divorced? When asked if married in the church do I say it’s annulled?

Well this is what I do…in church I am divorced with an annulment (this is makes a difference) and civily I am divorced (they do not care about the annulment)

 

[Princess_Abby]

I have three different friends with annullments and they all refer to themselves as “annulled.” People either get it and don’t comment, or ask what that specifically means and the annulled friend explains however much they are comfortable with sharing.

 

[LSK]

I think Karin’s answer is the most honest…and I think, in light of the fact that you have children (and Lexee, this is just my opinion, ok? so take it for what it is worth, that is all) you would want to continue with the same last name as they have in order to lessen confusion for them when they have to go out in the world and deal with people in general.

You can also seek guidance from your priest and in prayer, from the Holy Spirit in this matter. The prayer discipline will pull you ever closer to the Holy Trinity…and that, alone, will be a positive result for asking the question.

 

[Karin]

LSK:

I think Karin’s answer is the most honest…and I think, in light of the fact that you have children (and Lexee, this is just my opinion, ok? so take it for what it is worth, that is all) you would want to continue with the same last name as they have in order to lessen confusion for them when they have to go out in the world and deal with people in general.

You can also seek guidance from your priest and in prayer, from the Holy Spirit in this matter. The prayer discipline will pull you ever closer to the Holy Trinity…and that, alone, will be a positive result for asking the question.

Yes…I kept my married name as I had a child…and so as not to confuse the Good Sisters or teachers at the Catholic School with a differnt last name than my child…I kept it…but once my eldest son is done wth High School…I AM LOOSING IT (THE LAST NAME)!

 

[Lexee15]

Karin:

Yes…I kept my married name as I had a child…and so as not to confuse the Good Sisters or teachers at the Catholic School with a differnt last name than my child…I kept it…but once my eldest son is done wth High School…I AM LOOSING IT (THE LAST NAME)!

Well, I didn’t change my name…I didn’t want to take his name, he’d been married before and his ex-wife was still using the name…I just felt wierd or maybe I was being prideful, but I did not take his name. I did, however, add my last name to my son’s birth certificate and social security card, maybe I can drop his dad’s last name and use only mine. Could it work?

 

[Karin]

Lexee15:

Well, I didn’t change my name…I didn’t want to take his name, he’d been married before and his ex-wife was still using the name…I just felt wierd or maybe I was being prideful, but I did not take his name. I did, however, add my last name to my son’s birth certificate and social security card, maybe I can drop his dad’s last name and use only mine. Could it work?

Sure you would have to go to court though to legally get his named changed…and your husband would have a chance to fight it.