Who are you & how do you confess?

[csteele]

I’m a little surprised that there aren’t more face-to-face confessions… I have found that my confessor does better at face-to-face than screened and when he’s at his peak, I’m at mine.

pax,
Corey

 

[CatholicSamurai]

Who am I? I’m Spiderman… Ooops, wrong forum.

I am male and I have tried Confession traditional and face to face. I have no preference. Both are good.

 

[Shari]

I agree with those who would say both. I answered female/face to face. But it would depend on where I am. If it is with my regular confessor I would do face to face. What is funny is my confessor lives an hour away and is not my parish priest. He is the one who brought me into the Church and I am very comfortable with him, so face to face. However if I ever have to go somewhere else I think I would use the screen. I like our parish priest but I am not sure I would be comfortable with face to face with him.

 

[anthony81OR]

I am a male, and I think it doesn’t really matter. One time, a friend of mine who just got converted to Catholcism ask me, what if my priest hates me? I told her, don’t worry. He won’t hate you, in fact, he encourages us to go to confession. To me, I pretty much get scared too if I go to confession but, to me, confession is another way to say, God I’m truly sorry.

                                                     You Are Loved,
                                                           Anthony 
                                                      Archdiocese of Portland, OR.

 

[tommyboy]

a pilgrim:

Just been reading through another “Confession” thread and I thought it might be interesting to find out if there is a gender bias with regard to the preferred method of confessing (screen vs. face-to-face). Please add your “stats” to help us find out!

Thanks, all!

a pilgrim

Actually, I have One mediator…Jesus Christ. Read Hebrews 9 & 10…real slow.

 

[Timidity]

Male/Face-to-Face

Though, if you asked me that a year ago, I would have said “I’ll never confess face-to-face.” Of course, at that point it had been 25 years since my last confession.

I went to my first real confession during the Good Friday rush. I had been to confession only twice before–my first confession as a child, and a confession was required prior to confirmation which was around age 14-15 in my case. In both those cases i was too immature to make a good confession.

It was quite busy on Good Friday. The church had two priests hearing confession, although the is only one confessional. The pastor, who normally doesn’t hear the weekly confessions, was in the baby room. I was about 7th or 8th in line when he came open, but everyone in front of me was waiting for their normal confessor in the confessional. I was quite nervous about making my first confession in so long, and I had been putting it off for a while. I decided that it was finally time, and I just wanted to get started. So I went ahead into the baby room, where the only option was face-to-face.

I liked it, in an uncomfortable sort of way. Being face-to-face, I felt less like I could “hide” and had to be completely open.

And I have to say, coming out of the confessional is one of the best feelings in the universe.

As if this post wasn’t long enough–I do have one humorous anecdote. So I’m in the baby room, kneeling before the pastor. he’s guiding me through the confession, when I ask him if it’s okay if I used a list of my sins that I had been preparing. As you would expect, he says “of course”. So I take out my PDA and open my confession document, and he just starts laughing (good naturedly). “I’ve seen index cards, crumpled up scraps of paper, napkins–everything, but this is the first time someone has used a Palm Pilot. It truly is a new millenium.”

Well, I thought it was humorous.

 

[mercygate]

I’m a former Episcopalian (woman). Most Episcopal churches don’t have “boxes” – you kneel at the altar rail (yes, Episcopalians still have altar rails), and the Priest sits behind it. My last confessor preferred the Byzantine custom of kneeling beside me at the altar rail. Talk about hair raising! Anyway, face-to-face, or in my case, elbow-to-elbow was the norm.

Only twice as an Episcopalian, on retreats, did I experience “the box.” Both of those confessions were landmark events – but probably more because of the retreat graces than the box. My spiritual director (a Catholic priest) claims that generally “you hear better confessions in the box.”

Now, as a Catholic, my confessor (I always go to the same man) hears my confessions in his office. No choice there. He also doesn’t wear his stole :ehh: but since he’s a saint, I absolve him.
BTW, I always kneel to accept absolution.

 

[Exporter]

Timidity,

**How gracious it was for your confessor to comment on you “notes” for your confession. I hope you said a prayer for that Priest. **

 

[mercygate]

raphaela:

I’m female, and never confessed my sins before, but i think I would prefer a screen because I would get nervous, but probably my fisrt time confess I will have to do the face-to-face appointment thing cause i have WAY to many sins to confess. Plus, the screen seems more traditional and tradition is what initially drew me to the church!!

Slightly off-topic: Raphaela, the day you make your general confession will be the best day of your life. Do not rush your preparation. Perhaps do your examen in half-hour bits over a period of a month or more. Place your trust in the grace and mercy of God. Ask him to open your eyes to “all the wondrous things of His law.” Pray for wisdom, for abandonment into God’s love, to trust Him in everything, to reserve nothing, to justify nothing. God bless you.

 

[mercygate]

Loboto-Me:

I confess face to face in the confessional. At my parish, the confessional is like a little waiting room. There is a screen there with a kneeler, as well as a chair. The priest sits in a chair in such a way that as you come in, if he wants, he can just look up to see who’s there.
This makes the screen part of no use for annonimity (sp?).
I wish there was a kneeler for face to face confession though. It seems less reverant to me when I’m sitting in a chair… I’d much rather be kneeling to show my sorrows for my sins.
One good thing though, is when our priest gives absolution face to face, he will stand up and lay his hands onto my head while praying and forgiving.

You don’t need a piece of furniture to kneel (unless you’re physically unable for some reason); if you would feel better kneeling, why not? I recently made a confession in my office (don’t ask!): dragged the chaplain in by the violet stole, closed the door, sat him in one of the guest chairs and knelt beside him . . . No problem!

 

[mercygate]

tommyboy:

Actually, I have One mediator…Jesus Christ. Read Hebrews 9 & 10…real slow.

Tommy, m’luv, we all have One mediator, Jesus Christ. But we Catholics are blessed to accept with humility and joy the ministry of Christ’s appointed *agents *of that sacred mediation. Read John 20:21-23…real slow.

 

[deaconswife]

Our women’s group has a priest who comes and says Mass for us and gives us a teaching on a variety of subjects ranging from Salesian spirituality to the latest encyclical from the Pope. He also enrolls anyone in the Brown Scapular who was not previously enrolled and has consecrated all our homes to the of Jesus and Mary. Since the meetings are in different members homes confession is usually in a room in the house that can afford him privacy.

 

[CD4]

deaconswife:

Our women’s group has a priest who comes and says Mass for us and gives us a teaching on a variety of subjects ranging from Salesian spirituality to the latest encyclical from the Pope. He also enrolls anyone in the Brown Scapular who was not previously enrolled and has consecrated all our homes to the of Jesus and Mary. Since the meetings are in different members homes confession is usually in a room in the house that can afford him privacy.

**You guys are so lucky. I have a friend who belongs to an informal young couples group that does the same thing. Although I am quite a bit older than she, my husband and I have been present for at least one of these home Masses and confession times, and it was wonderful. **

**I have atteneded at least on other home Mass (while in Florida a long time ago), and it, too was wonderful. Both were memorials for a person who had died…one an unborn infant, and one the mother of someone in the group. **

 

[CD4]

Harland:

It is a long story but the first time I went face to face the priest and I were playing pool. That was back in 64.

**I’d love to hear that story! **

 

[Thomas2]

Hey there Pilgrim!

I don’t know if you’ve noticed this yet, but this is a Catholic website and Catholics don’t Confess to women. I guess you think your quotation marks around the word Confession gave you an out, but you better make it good because God knows your thoughts even before they are on your lips!

Peace and all good,

Thomas2

 

[Therese_Martin]

Thomas2:

I don’t know if you’ve noticed this yet, but this is a Catholic website and Catholics don’t Confess to women. I guess you think your quotation marks around the word Confession gave you an out, but you better make it good because God knows your thoughts even before they are on your lips!

I think you may have misread the poll. The poster, a pilgrim, was asking that respondents identify whether they are male or female and indicate which manner they prefer to confess.

**Notice:

In any case, as this thread is more “personal” (see the “banned topics” stickies) than preferred by the moderation staff and as it has been open for over two months, it will now be closed. Thanks to all for participating in the discussion.**