Who do you consider your "Best Friend"?

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Who do you consider your best friend? How did this friendship/relationship begin? How do you keep such a strong bond with your best friend?

Lastly, I’d like to ask how to make a best friend. I’m a high school student who recently became more devout to God, but in doing this I left a social life that was bad for me. I have a fresh start in a new Catholic High School but I dont know how to make a good friend in Gods image. So, what are some tips on how you form strong relationships/friendships in the image if our Lord?
 
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Are there clubs/teams at your school that interest you?

If faith is an important quality in a friend to you, then obviously a faith-based club is best, but catholics can be friends with non-catholics. You don’t have to give up on non-religious hobbies. While it’s nice to have good influences, the more you require certain qualities in your friends, the more they tend to require certain qualities in you. In other words, sometimes the best influences can be more judgmental (not all the time).

If I were you, I’d focus on building a small circle of friends instead of finding one best friend. The best friends will emerge from the circle with time if that’s meant to be. Know that it is okay to have a few best friends. I have a friend I would talk about the faith with, but another person I might go to for other advice. Many people think you need one best friend, but that’s not really how it works in the adult world. Also know that, likewise, you may not be their best friend right away. You have to earn trust with your friends over time.

Best thing to do is to be there for them, and while friends should also be there for you, ask as little of them as you need to. Be respectful (and not jealous) of the other friends they have, and they will see you as a fun person to be around and want to be with you more. Hope this helps!
 
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This is all good advice by SunSeeker. Friendships are most fun when you have some activity or interest in common that you can do together. If, down the road, one of you moves on to other interests that the other person doesn’t share, then that often will cool down or even end the friendship, but if you’re continuing with your interests and hobbies you will be making new friends to have fun with.

Also, if your friendships are based on shared wholesome interests, such as hiking or kite flying or playing music or a sport, etc then they’re less likely to be based on the kind of social activities that can be bad for a person like drinking and partying.

As for “best friend”, my best friend was actually my spouse who was my close friend for 33 years total and 23 years married. I met him at work when we were both in our early 20s, so obviously that’s probably not the kind of friendship you’ll be making in high school. My high school best friend liked to play the guitar and I liked to sing and later got into playing the guitar (Although she didn’t really like me taking up guitar, she acted like I was trying to steal her spotlight or something) so we had fun playing music together and discussing a lot of music-related topics. The friendship didn’t last past high school though, since we both got heavily into other interests that the other person didn’t share.
 
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@SunSeeker
Thanks for the response yall!

And on the point of having a friend with great faith. I know circumstances may be diffrent as time goes by, but I intend to, over time, develop relationships that can benefit both parties in coming close to our Lord. And friendships based upon the building of faith, in my opinion, is almost unbreakable.

And ill definitely join extracurricular activities involving the faith, I just hope and pray that the my new school will actually allow extracurriculars to continue as there are very little means to make many friends considering half the school won’t be present (dynamic school attendance), talking is limited, lunches during class, sports canceled all due to COVID.

And thanks for the advice in looking for a small group. Today was actually my first day and I found myself trying to appeal to everyone. So I’ll definitely look out for a group that is right for me.

And I think you can have multiple friends, and it is useful to have diffrent types of friends to ask for help in different situations. Even though this is reality, I wish I could find one person where I could entrust all of what I entrust in the Lord. But un general, doing all this requires time as you said.

@Tis_Bearself thanks for the advice as well! I wish to find people that at least have an interest in the faith and building a better relationship with our Lord

And your story is so interesting! God bless you for how far you have come! I always wonder if our Lord will put me in a situation as yours where I am able to connect with someone in such a way I can entrust them with what I entrust with the Lord over time if course.

Anyway thanks! God bless you. And yall will remain in my prayers tonight and forever!
 
I didn’t really have a best friend after I hit 18. I have a group of close friends that I love and spend time with, but the emotional intimacy is barely there. There’s a friend I am more open to (but still pretty closed up). That’s more of a me-problem though, growing up in a masculine environment made me stoic and closed up and I don’t want to do the work to be otherwise if I’m frank.

No Catholic friends as I clash with a lot of them personality wise, for reasons above. Would be nice to have them, though. I find Catholic peers are eager to dive into vulnerability whenever we talk, while my non religious friends are more focused on just enjoying each others company.

But if you’re asking about my close friends, we met through school and just never really lose touch. I maintain my close friendships by simply talking to them, mostly by text and the occasional dinner. We bond over humour a lot, and I’m there whenever they are going through a rough spot in their lives.
FaithHopeCharity said:
Lastly, I’d like to ask how to make a best friend
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Availability and vulnerability. Fr Mike Schmitz has a video on this on YouTube, actually! Hopefully someone links it here.
 
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FaithHopeCharity said:
Who do you consider your best friend? How did this friendship/relationship begin? How do you keep such a strong bond with your best friend?
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A buddy of mine from South Dakota is certainly my “best friend”. We met online back in 2004 and kept in touch through email, messaging, etc. We finally met “in person” about 5 years back. We both have a love of sports and politics, so that really connects us.

I had no friends growing up, so friendship was always something I longed for but was out of reach until I became an adult. I realized that if I wanted good friends, I couldn’t act abrasive, judgmental, rude or nasty-others are generally attracted to nice and friendly people who don’t act like jerks. Generally speaking, if Dave (pulling names out of the sky here) is moody, angry, augmentative and unpleasant he has no right to wonder why he isn’t popular. Most people like Dave will try to dismiss friendship as a defense mechanism, but anyway…

Hope this helps a bit.
 
In my mid 50s, have had the same best friend since high school. We met as we went to church together and our parents were friends.

We each converted to Catholicism.

We have never had a fight, we have had one disagreement over a boy, we have never judged each other and never broken the others trust
 
Lucky you. Best friends like that are a blessing that doesn’t happen to us all.
It’s sort of like being lucky enough to find a good spouse, also a blessing but not everybody gets it.

I have had so many bad experiences with “best friends” over my entire life that I now prefer to just have a sizable cadre of people I talk to regularly (usually online), some of them have been in my life 10, 20 or even 40 years, and I care about them and they care about me but we don’t get in too deep with each other.
 
I don’t really have a “best friend”, but i have a few close friends I can confide in and vice versa.

But my “oldest” friend I met on the first day of high school, she was my maid of honor and we still keep in touch regularly over Facebook. However our lives diverged because she moved out of state and never married and I got busy raising kids.
 
Right now I’d claim it’s my dog!

I have several friends that I know I can call at any time and they’ll be there for me. I haven’t had a best friend since college and we drifted apart afterwards…mostly my fault as I’m terrible about keeping in touch.

I’ll take my general friends over just one best friend though. I like the greater variety and not feeling that I’d have to share every moment. I enjoy my privacy, too, and honestly, best friends intrude on that a bit…more general friend, not nearly as much.

I do admire the people that have and maintain a best friendship. I don’t think they are common and they can definitely be special!
 
My wife is my best friend. No one else comes close. She’s simply the best!
 
Tis_Bearself said:
I have had so many bad experiences with “best friends” over my entire life that I now prefer to just have a sizable cadre of people I talk to regularly (usually online), some of them have been in my life 10, 20 or even 40 years, and I care about them and they care about me but we don’t get in too deep with each other.
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I know what you mean. I seem to have had a succession of friends through my life–some gone, some died, etc. I have a number of people I consider friends now, but I don’t know who I would say is “best.” I don’t think I really understand what “best friend” means. I would have to say my husband, as you have said, but after that, I don’t know which friend I could call “best.” I have not rated them and wouldn’t know what scale to rate them on, so how could I say who is “best”?
 
Well as a teenager in my generation, I do my best to love everyone in the eyes of the Lord, and I do most of the times. But in my generation, these types of people are labeled as “nice guys” and I have realized, over a period of time, that its hard to make friends being and overly friendly extrovert.

Anyway, thx for the response! God bless!
 
I wish I had a friend like that. God bless you and your friend:)
 
I could see how that would work out for some people. But personally, I have had friendships such as this in the past, and for some reason, I always feel like there’s a missing part if me. Idk, maybe it will go away as I get older.

Anyway thx for the response, God bless!
 
Yeah! I could definitely see that working for some people! But personally, me being me, I have always felt like I wanted someone to understand me, someone I could trust with what I entrust with the Lord. In this way, the Lord would be working through them and through me to form a deeper relationship and overall helping eachother get to the best possible place we could be!

Anyway, thanks for the reply, God bless!
 
Thats awesome! Although, as a teen, I sont think high school relationships last unless you really love them and try and if its according to the Lords plan.
 
my personal definition of best friend is someone who understands me more than I do myself, prays and wishes the best for me, is always there when I need someone, knows what I need without asking, and most importantly, wants me to become closer with our Lord and will be the Lords voice if need be.

But in order for this to be your best friend, I would think, is that this need to be reciprocated by both sides (obvious, but thought I should mention).

God bless!
 
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