Who Needs a Spiritual Director?

[cgoodson2002]

What would be the reasons that a person would feel that they needed a spiritual director? I am happy with my contemplative prayer life and Jesus is helping me to become aware of my faults so that I can work on them–so I don’t think I need one… do I?

 

[Ad_Orientem]

Fr. Reginald Garrigou-Lagrange answers your question here:

Three Ages of the Interior Life, Part I, Ch. 17: Spiritual Direction

Excerpt: “Though it is not an absolutely necessary means for the sanctification of souls, direction is the normal means of spiritual progress. …] No one is a good judge in his own cause by reason of secret pride which may make him deviate from the right path. …] Cassian says that anyone who relies on his own judgment will never reach perfection and will not be able to avoid the snares of the devil. He concludes that the best means to triumph over the most dangerous temptations is to make them known to a wise counselor who has the grace of state to enlighten us.” More]

 

[cgoodson2002]

Fr. Reginald Garrigou-Lagrange answers your question here:

Thanks, that’s pretty convincing My confessor is not interested in doing spiritual direction, so could you please tell me how to find one?

 

[Casilda]

Having grown up in the faith but outside the church since shortly after FHC and unable to connect back into the church as a teen and spending a lifetime with Jesus as my guide, the Holy Scriptures and the Holy Spirit as a comforter, I have come to the same conclusion. There is no need of an earthly spiritual director. No one really cares except Jesus. What I have found in His church on earth is mostly wolves guarding the flocks. The sheep they have not killed spiritually they have scattered.

I wanted to add that I listen to dead people; stories and writings of the saints of the church and Doctors of the church. Also the early church fathers. Seek them for spiritual direction.

 

[Ad_Orientem]

cgoodson, you might contact a local monastery. Some religious orders (e.g. Carmelites, Dominicans) specialize in spiritual direction.

Casilda, it sounds like you’ve had some really bad experiences. Personally ,I’ve had some very good spiritual directors. But in any case, the abuse of an institution is not the institution. If it were, Jesus wouldn’t have entrusted his Church to men.

 

[Polyphony]

What I have found in His church on earth is mostly wolves guarding the flocks. The sheep they have not killed spiritually they have scattered.

Please excuse me, Casilda. This user name is new, but I’ve been on the forums, off and on, for almost 12 years now. I’m aware of your background and the pain involved in your trying to return to the Church.

… and if I can say so in humility, I think it’s unnecessary of you to speak so harshly. These words can scandalize people, and you should guard them better.

 

[pianistclare]

please excuse me, casilda. This user name is new, but i’ve been on the forums, off and on, for almost 12 years now. I’m aware of your background and the pain involved in your trying to return to the church.

… And if i can say so in humility, i think it’s unnecessary of you to speak so harshly. These words can scandalize people, and you should guard them better.

1

 

[1neophyte]

I wanted to add that I listen to dead people; stories and writings of the saints of the church and Doctors of the church. Also the early church fathers. Seek them for spiritual direction.

Saints, Doctors, and the fathers are anything but dead.

 

[Casilda]

Please excuse me, Casilda. This user name is new, but I’ve been on the forums, off and on, for almost 12 years now. I’m aware of your background and the pain involved in your trying to return to the Church.

… and if I can say so in humility, I think it’s unnecessary of you to speak so harshly. These words can scandalize people, and you should guard them better.

Unfortunately, I work with spiritually wounded Catholics, so I know of what I speak of. Only one so far has gone back to confession and even dared attend Mass again. He is there for the Lord. Another was discerning a vocation and now has dropped off attending Mass. They must be made aware of the wolves so as to persevere. It ain’t all hunky dory and I am not Pollyanna.

 

[1neophyte]

Unfortunately, I work with spiritually wounded Catholics, so I know of what I speak of. Only one so far has gone back to confession and even dared attend Mass again. He is there for the Lord. Another was discerning a vocation and now has dropped off attending Mass. They must be made aware of the wolves so as to persevere. It ain’t all hunky dory and I am not Pollyanna.

Can you be specific about what you mean? What sort of fruit do these wolves produce?

 

[PapyrusDouay]

What would be the reasons that a person would feel that they needed a spiritual director? I am happy with my contemplative prayer life and Jesus is helping me to become aware of my faults so that I can work on them–so I don’t think I need one… do I?

I think a decent analogy would be like having a guitar teacher if you are learning to play guitar (or any instrument). Yes, you can absolutely learn to play on your own, watching videos, reading books, learning to read music, tablature, watching and listening to the performances, albums, interviews from the Greats (“saints” of guitar)…Clapton, Hendrix, Santana, Vaughan, Page… And many great guitarists did exactly that to get where they are. But…it can also be beneficial to meet with a guitar teacher on occasion, who can meet you where you are, offer advice, suggestions, answer questions, help you get through plateaus and slumps, point out your mistakes you didn’t catch yourself, figure out practice routines, and offer tips when things are a little complicated.

Yes, saints are made without spiritual directors, but there is a reason every religious order and seminary requires their men and women in formation to have one. Anyone, not just clergy and religious can benefit from one.

Even if your confessor isn’t interested in doing spiritual direction, ask him if he knows anyone who is, or has suggestions of where to look in your area. He should be your starting point (and/or your pastor if it’s a different person, ask both if they’re different people). As someone mentioned, local monasteries are good places to ask…and again, if they don’t have someone who can/is trained or whatever, ask them if they know of anyone who is or where to look. Any religious order, really, it doesn’t have to be a “monastery”. Or, if there is a Catholic retreat center near you, try that. Often, those kinds of places will have specially trained and educated spiritual directors since many retreats utilize spiritual direction as part of them.

 

[UpUpAndAway]

The guitar analogy is brilliant. I hadn’t quite thought of things in those terms before.

You will get varying opinions on the question of whether or not everyone needs an SD. I’m of the mind that no one is capable of seeing their own faults objectively. Either we deny their existence or we exaggerate their extent. An SD can provide clarity on these faults so we see them as they really are and can thus work on them most effectively in order to remove or at least minimize their impact on our journey toward God. Without the guidance a good SD can provide, we run the risk of wasting a whole lot of time going down the wrong road(s). This would be unfortunate, as death is inevitable and can claim any of us at any time.

Places to seek an SD, or at least help in finding one, in no particular order:

• Pastor/Parish priest. Even if he declines to guide you (or you do not wish to be guided by him), he should be able to give you ideas on where to go and who to ask.
• Confessor. Same as above.
• (Arch)Diocesan offices. They may keep a list of qualified SDs in the (arch)diocese.
• Catholic religious communities.
• Catholic retreat centers.

Please remember that an SD does not have to be a priest.

It can take some time to find the right SD, so it’s important to persevere even if it seems fruitless. I searched for the one I have now for a year. A friend went eight years between SDs. Others I have known found a good match on the first try. YMMV.

Recommended reading:
Navigating the Interior Life: Spiritual Direction and the Journey to God by Dan Burke and Fr. John Bartunek

Unfortunately, I work with spiritually wounded Catholics, so I know of what I speak of. Only one so far has gone back to confession and even dared attend Mass again. He is there for the Lord. Another was discerning a vocation and now has dropped off attending Mass. They must be made aware of the wolves so as to persevere. It ain’t all hunky dory and I am not Pollyanna.

I, too, have read of your past experiences, and I’m truly sorry for what you’ve been through. While I totally agree that things are far from perfect, it’s not all cataclysmic either, as statements such as “No one really cares except Jesus” would suggest. Yes, there are plenty of poor shepherds out there, but I would hope they aren’t intentionally alienating the faithful. You may find such malicious people, but there is a difference between someone who deliberately seeks to destroy (what comes to mind when I hear the term “wolves” used in this context) and someone who means well but is clumsy with the flock. And there are plenty of good shepherds who are doing wonderful work, often in the face of considerable adversity.

Praying for those who have suffered due to being mistreated in the Church, and for those who mistreated them, whether or not their actions were intentional.

God bless, Casilda.

 

[Lily_Bernans]

What would be the reasons that a person would feel that they needed a spiritual director? I am happy with my contemplative prayer life and Jesus is helping me to become aware of my faults so that I can work on them–so I don’t think I need one… do I?

There’s no better spiritual adviser than Christ, but if you’re having trouble establishing a personal relationship with him, then a monastery might be your best bet at finding spiritual direction. Parish priests are usually too busy. They care very much, I think, but they just don’t have the time. A lot of monks are willing, even if the spiritual direction is mostly by letter or email. Mother Teresa, after all, communicated with her spiritual director by letter.

 

[Ad_Orientem]

There’s no better spiritual adviser than Christ, but if you’re having trouble establishing a personal relationship with him, then a monastery might be your best bet at finding spiritual direction. …

It sounds like you’re saying spiritual direction is only for beginners. The Church’s greatest saints disagree, and themselves had spiritual directors. Spiritual direction is not for people who can’t pray by themselves; it’s for those who are serious about growing spiritually – whether they are beginners or advanced.

 

[Mary_Gail_36]

It sounds like you’re saying spiritual direction is only for beginners. The Church’s greatest saints disagree, and themselves had spiritual directors. Spiritual direction is not for people who can’t pray by themselves; it’s for those who are serious about growing spiritually – whether they are beginners or advanced.

Even Pope John Paul had one.

 

[pianistclare]

I will add, that I presume the purpose of the responses is to help people in their search for a Spiritual director, not to grind an ax of events long gone by. Such negativity is not helpful in the grand scheme of things. At some point, we all have to let go of past hurts. We place our trust in the Lord, not man, anyway. There are literally millions of people who have had beautiful Catholics experiences.
Anyway,
Up Up’s advice is spot on. Monasteries are a fine place to find Spiritual Directors if your local priest is not available or prefers not to work with someone from the parish.
Also, most Diocese have a list of approved and highly qualified Spiritual Spiritual Directors in your area. Just make a phone call.

Good luck on your search.

 

[Nelka]

Spiritual director?

I need a spiritual board of directors.