Who should be guiding the Children through the Sacrements?

[SouthCoast]

As a school teacher, I would say what I would tell any parent. If you’re expecting a school, a TV show, a church, a babysitter, ANYONE else to raise and educate your child without SIGNIFICANT effort on your part – you will be GREATLY disappointed and you will be doing your child a disservice.

Bottom line: You had better take the lead in educating your child on faith. YOU are the greatest influence on your child in this world, PERIOD. Not a teacher, not a priest, not a nun, not a babysitter, not an educational/religious TV show. YOU. It’s YOUR responsibility to make sure what doesn’t get taught elsewhere gets taught and that what IS taught elsewhere gets REINFORCED by you at home.

-Michael

julieanne:

Have I missed something?

Our Daughter is making her First Reconciliation Sunday. She has had one metting with Father and her school (Catholic). Has touched on the subject in religion. That’s it. A workbook was sent home for me to go over with her. Don’t get me wrong, but I was guided more so by the priests and nuns in my schooling and church.

I am very proactive in my daughters faith journey. Maybe it is I feel I am unworthy to be teaching her. Most of me thinks that they are not doing much of this at school because we are very rural and our enrollment is 3/4 Baptist and 1/4 Catholic. If you can believe it we have actually reached 90 students.

From what I have heard about other Sacrements, they are handled the same way. Should I put her in the CCD classes availible? I really thought sending her to Catholic school would make CCD redundant.

Our pastor states that this is how the church is now doing Sacrements. Could this be true?

 

[netmilsmom]

SouthCoast:

As a school teacher, I would say what I would tell any parent. If you’re expecting a school, a TV show, a church, a babysitter, ANYONE else to raise and educate your child without SIGNIFICANT effort on your part – you will be GREATLY disappointed and you will be doing your child a disservice.

Bottom line: You had better take the lead in educating your child on faith. YOU are the greatest influence on your child in this world, PERIOD. Not a teacher, not a priest, not a nun, not a babysitter, not an educational/religious TV show. YOU. It’s YOUR responsibility to make sure what doesn’t get taught elsewhere gets taught and that what IS taught elsewhere gets REINFORCED by you at home.

-Michael

That’s right!
Homeschooling is the answer!

 

[julieanne]

Well here we are three days after my daughter first reconciliation and I am still speechless. If you have kept up with this thread you will understand my post. After working with my daughter on her workbook and doing my best to set the best example I could, I come away from this Sacrement feeling even more misdirected and confused than I was when I felt unworthy to be teaching my daughter about the Sacrement of Reconciliation. As you all know I was taken aback by the lack of guidence from the Catholic school she attends and our Pastor.

Imagine, if you will, entering your church. You are greeted by a pastor with sleep in his eyes, shirt untucked and collar undone. He gives you a “program” and you are told to sit.
There are a total of 9 children in the church. In the “program” it states we will sing an entrance song, listen to a reading, then a homily. THen we will communally say the Act Of Contrition (Which by the way is the one I learned so long agao and not the one my daughter now knows by heart), the children will make thier confession (with no examination of conscience, it ended up being a foot race to see who could get it done the fastest).

We never sang a note. There was no homily. The Pastor did not even use the confessional ( which he made a big deal about in the only meeting the kids had).
He made sure the children knew that what they said would be between them and God, but set the chairs up in the front of church where everyone could hear these poor kids confessions! Not one child was given a pennance. Every one knew this because they came away laughing and telling thier parents they had no pennance. After the children were done, Father was about to stand up until he realized that the adults were wanting to take advantage of an extra Pennance service before Lent. He almost looked disgusted.

Now please tell me again, as some of you have, that it is all up to me to guide my child through the Sacrements. And when you do, keep in mind that my daughter now thinks that I went into overkill mode and it wasn’t that big of a deal. She did not say that exactly, but she did say that she was glad he didn’t have to do all of the “stuff” in that book. And that Father T. was cool.
Please tell me how I am supposed to help guide my child when it seems that what is taught it immediately contridicted. Again I state, that I sent my child to Catholic school for a reason… Not to get a generic Christian education, but a CATHOLIC ONE!

I now ask, What is my next step?

 

[Mernpap]

Your daughter has had a horrible first impression of a beautiful sacrament. It is your parental responsibility to help her through this bad experience and teach her the Faith properly.

1st step - simply explain to her that you felt inadequate to prepare her without the help of the parochial school and the priest, but that with their help you did expect to do a good job.

2nd step - tell her that her 1st confession was not handled well by the priest and that her next one needs to be a better experience. You do not need to sound very critical of the school or the priest when you tell her this. Just let her know you think it could have been done better.

3rd step - review the importance of proper formation of one’s conscience by learning the 10 commandments and studying a Catholic catechism appropriate for her age such as The New Saint Joseph First Communion Catechism, make sure she knows how to do a thorough examination of conscience, help her review the act of contrition she has memorized so she doesn’t forget it.

4th step - get her to a priest that truly values confession himself! This may be hard to do, but it’s worth commuting if you need to.

5th step - once you have gone to this trouble, give yourself a pat on the back for good Catholic parenting.

6th step - reevaluate the pros and cons of her parochial school education. You may find that homeschooling will benefit her much more than parochial school. You may not feel adequate to the task, but if you try it, you will be amazed at how much you have to offer.

As a convert, I am getting my remedial education in Catholicism by studying the materials sent to me for teaching my children from Seton Home Study School. It is a Catholic homeschooling resource that I find incredibly helpful. The materials I use to teach my children are very thorough and faithful to the Catholic catechism. I don’t have to be an expert in any subject to use the lesson plans and teach the classes. Loving parents really are the best educators of their own children.

 

[kmktexas]

Let me add #7

You can use this opportunity to explain that in life she will have good and bad teachers, good and bad priests and (eventually) good and bad bosses. But with the Sacraments it is always Jesus and He is always good.

She is very fortunate to have a mom that is as concerned as you are. You did a wonderful job in difficult circumstances.

 

[Freddy_Medina]

Maybe this will shed some light on the subject:

catholicexchange.com/vm/index.asp?vm_id=2&art_id=22692

It has been very interesting in my parish when this topic comes up- which it does every so often.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

julieanne:

Have I missed something?

Our Daughter is making her First Reconciliation Sunday. She has had one metting with Father and her school (Catholic). Has touched on the subject in religion. That’s it. A workbook was sent home for me to go over with her. Don’t get me wrong, but I was guided more so by the priests and nuns in my schooling and church.

I am very proactive in my daughters faith journey. Maybe it is I feel I am unworthy to be teaching her. Most of me thinks that they are not doing much of this at school because we are very rural and our enrollment is 3/4 Baptist and 1/4 Catholic. If you can believe it we have actually reached 90 students.

From what I have heard about other Sacrements, they are handled the same way. Should I put her in the CCD classes availible? I really thought sending her to Catholic school would make CCD redundant.

Our pastor states that this is how the church is now doing Sacrements. Could this be true?

Sending a child to Catholic school is NOT a substitute for “CCD”. Sacraments are ALWAYS to be celebrated within the Parish Faith Community NOT in the Catholic school setting. First Holy Communion, Confirmation do not take place at the school Mass, they take place at a Mass in the Parish church. Reconciliation is always a private Sacrament no formal public recognition should take place. Children should be prepared for Confession and offered an opportunity to receive the Sacrament. If they do or not is their choice and no one should ever know if they did or not. Also Sending a child to “CCD” is never a substitute for the Catholic parent(s) teaching their child the Catholic Faith. Sacramental preparation is the primary duty of the parents. This is really nothing new and is found in every period of Church history and has been repeated several times in the last 50 or so years.