Why am I feeling vengeful?

  • Thread starter Thread starter saramichelle6
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
S

saramichelle6

Guest
I’m not Catholic - yet - but as I’m learning about it i’m 98% of the way to starting RCIA.

My freshman year of college I got involved in a religious group on my campus. It was ok at first - I had instant friends, I was involved and feeling “closer to God.” But then things just started getting a little weird and cult-ish so I quit going. No one even noticed.

I’ve been to mass a few times with friends, and am just leaping the last hurdles before joining the church.

My problem: I’m feeling bitter and vengeful. I want to go back to those evangelicals and debate them on apologetics, because I feel like I know the truth now, and I’m not even Catholic! I don’t understand while I’m feeling this way, like I need to prove them wrong or something. Any thoughts?

(prayers are appreciated too…)
 
Once you begin RCIA, you will begin to learn so much! It is a fascinating process and the start of a journey you will be on for the rest of your life. During this time, you will become immersed in the teachings of the church, and grow towards Christ in every way. On the journey you will begin to notice old behaviors, and thoughts melting away along with old grudges.
You may even begin to feel thankful towards all your old religious friends because they have educated you in some way and given you an appreciation of Christ.
Just go forward, for now, towards God’s Church and don’t worry about yesterday.
 
saramichelle6,
There is no need to be vengeful or spiteful toward those who you spent time with all those years ago. BE joyful that the Holy Spirit has opened your eyes. Just remember, “Always be prepared to give an explanation to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope, but do it with gentleness and reverence, keeping your conscience clear, so that, when you are maligned, those who defame your good conduct in Christ may themselves be put to shame.” (1 Peter 3: 15-16) In this passage, Peter tells us to understand and defend the faith in Christ, but be kind and respectful to those who oppose you and your faith. And he says that we should strive to remain sinless and pure in Christ, so that when someone attacks your faith in Christ, it is they who are shamed and humility (on the eternal level). So, share your new found Faith in Christ and HIs Church with those who hear, but do not be vengeful. That’s the wrong way to go.

Dominus vobiscum
 
saramichelle6 said:
I’m
My problem: I’m feeling bitter and vengeful. I want to go back to those evangelicals and debate them on apologetics, because I feel like I know the truth now, and I’m not even Catholic! I don’t understand while I’m feeling this way, like I need to prove them wrong or something. Any thoughts?

…)
Click to expand...
try to separate the people and the friendships you had with them, from what they were doing and teaching. you are right to hate what was wrong in their message and actions (and also right to appreciate and be thankful for what was right). Pray for the grace to be able to say, with Jesus, “forgive them, for they know not what they do.”
 
I had the very same feelings you’re having, saramichelle6, when I left my old Pentecostal sect. Only, I had given them 20 years of my life, as well as my educational opportunities, my time and talent, and had worked hard for their mission. When I found out how wrong they were about so many things, especially the Catholic Church, I was hopping mad!

But then I realized that they were just as ignorant as I had been about the Church, believing whatever they were told. And their whole religious sensibility was built around a quite different set of values (feelings much more than reason).

It took time, but I came to forgive what I felt were abuses by them and to realize that God had a plan for me through it all. And, that having that background has helped me help others who are in the same situation and are now searching for the truth.

So, pray and let God heal your heart by praying for them and pitying their lack of understanding. After all, most people opposed to the Church really have no idea what the real Church is like or what it really teaches. So, do as Jesus did and forgive them “for they know not what they do.” I will pray, too. 🙂
 
People will give up a lot to prove they are right. Relationships, peace of mind, etc. Don’t make being right more important than being happy.
 
Try to turn your bitter feelings towards them into prayers for their well-being and eventual conversion. Whenever I see someone who has offended me in the past, and I start thinking about how much I dislike them, that’s what I try to do. Try being the key word, but I’m getting there. I also try to apply it to other kinds of uncharitable thoughts. Like, if I think “Yikes, that guy’s really over-weight…” I try to change it to something like “God, help that person take care of themselves and stay healthy, and meet friends who will see through their outer appearance” Again, it’s a process, but I find it really helps to change negative thoughts about someone into positive prayers.
 
our experience in RCIA is that this is not an uncommon feeling, although much more often we hear gratitude for what people did receive in their old denominations, and grief at missing the friendships formed there.

the one group that seems to produce the most bitterness is former JWs, and that is also the convert most likely to experience a complete rupture with the rest of their family, which can be devastating.
 
saramichelle, prayers will be said for you in the days ahead. God bless you.
 
saramichelle6 said:
My problem: I’m feeling bitter and vengeful. I want to go back to those evangelicals and debate them on apologetics, because I feel like I know the truth now, and I’m not even Catholic! I don’t understand while I’m feeling this way, like I need to prove them wrong or something. Any thoughts?
(prayers are appreciated too…)
Click to expand...
You are not the first nor will you be the last. The feeling of bitter and vengeful is very normal for some of us. I’ve been there and done that.

You feel you have been lied to. You have.
You feel you have been mislead. You have.

How did I get over my vengefulness and bitterness?

I haven’t. It’s still there. It’s not a strong as it originally was, but nontheless it is still there. Will it ever go away? Yes, in time for most.

My only suggestion is to vent that bitterness and frustration into apologetics here. Being charitable is going to be tough. Last year about this time, I got suspended. If you know Sanduskey here at this forum then…

Hone your skills here for at least a year. If you still feeling the same this time next year, then Charge full steam ahead.

Of course I will pray for you as well, that’s a given.
 
Wow, this is a timely thread! I was having these very same feelings only a couple of weeks ago! As a revert to the Faith, I was getting angry and vengeful against my family and friends who didn’t have the same zeal for the Truth as I did, and it actually started making me sick in the stomach!

By what I can only describe as God’s Divine Providence, I noticed in my parish’s bulletin that there was a Lenten Penance service at another local parish that week…I went to the service, confessed my sin of pride and vengence to a priest, was absolved of my sins, and decided to offer up my feelings to the Lord. It took time for the feelings to go away. Now when I think back upon that time, I use it as a reminder that not only do we all need the Truth and learn about it, but it also helps me humble myself and remind myself that I’m no better than anyone else…that even I myself am still on that journey of faith, like my friends and family.

It has definitely helped treat them with more charity and love!
 
You must only ever speak to people about the faith in love if possible. It is so easy to want to persuade people from your own motives rather than surrendering to the Holy Spirit - I include myself in that totally (my own difficulty is relating to Muslims without getting angry). In any case, any one who confesses Jesus Christ as Lord has at least some of the truth.
 
saramichelle6
Click to expand...
Why am I feeling vengeful?
Click to expand...
.
Click to expand...
Because you have been hurt!

It is ok to feel like that, It is not a sin to react to being hurt.

It will help you to heal if you pray for those who hurt you. It may mean initially praying through gritted teeth but the more you persevere the more you will succeed. A by-product of the process is that you too will be healed.

I know, I have been there. Eventually, you will not only be able to forgive but you will genuinely grow to love them 🙂
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top