Why are there so many more guys than girls at catholic youth events?

[Naskor]

I’ve just converted to Catholicism and started attending events for catholic youth in my area (Melbourne, Australia). I’ve noticed that there are usually many more men than women at these events. (Also, the guys tend to be socially awkward …) Does this trend hold in other areas? If so what do you think the reason for it is?

*Disclaimer: I’ve only attended a few events so far.

I’ve noticed this too but I live in the States. I think for my area at least it’s because most Catholic women here marry much younger than Catholic men. Age gaps of 5-7 years are the norm for couples here. Most of the events aimed at Catholic youth are gauged to get young Catholics to discern vocations other than the married life, either explicitly or implicitly. But if you’re already living your vocation to the married life then you don’t really gain much by going.

 

[Xantippe]

I’ve noticed this too but I live in the States. I think for my area at least it’s because most Catholic women here marry much younger than Catholic men. Age gaps of 5-7 years are the norm for couples here. Most of the events aimed at Catholic youth are gauged to get young Catholics to discern vocations other than the married life, either explicitly or implicitly. But if you’re already living your vocation to the married life then you don’t really gain much by going.

…or you’re just too darn busy with little kids to go.

Good catch, by the way.

 

[Ridgerunner]

“Back in the day” when I lived in St. Louis, they had these really well-attended dances for Catholic young people. It was “guy heaven” then, though i don’t know what it’s like now. The women outnumbered the men so dramatically it was actually kind of visually confusing for me as a man. I’m serious. There were so many women milling around it was hard to get a good look at any particular one of them. They were easy to meet and start a conversation with too, but then St. Louis is a pretty informal and friendly kind of place. And there are a LOT of Catholics there. That informality and friendliness might be one of the reasons so many women felt free to show up. Maybe in other “mini-cultures” it’s considered demeaning.

I have no idea where the guys were, but I sure didn’t miss their presence at the time.

Well, I remember dating in New Orleans as well. It was similar in seeming to have a lot of available women, but then there are a lot of Catholics in N.O. too, and people there were pretty easygoing in their ways, and friendly.

I lived in KC for a time, and it wasn’t quite like that. But then, there aren’t all that many Catholics in KC, and the people generally seem wound tighter.

So, my guess is that it varies from place to place, and might depend on the local culture.

You might have guessed, I pretty much limited myself to Catholic women when it came to dating and such. But at the risk of sounding chauvinistic as well as somewhat traditional in most things, I hardly ever met a Catholic woman who wouldn’t get pretty traditional if I stayed with her very long. I think a lot of women really want to be because men who have traditional mores are perhaps more likely to be faithful as husbands and fathers than a guy who is more relativistic. I never knew a single woman who shot me down because of it.

But I think some guys wear it on their sleeves and might seem rigid because of it. No man truly understands women, but I think most women want a man to be strong in and with himself but understanding and forgiving to those outside himself.

That’s my contribution. Probably worth every dime you paid for it.

 

[Xantippe]

“Back in the day” when I lived in St. Louis, they had these really well-attended dances for Catholic young people. It was “guy heaven” then, though i don’t know what it’s like now. The women outnumbered the men so dramatically it was actually kind of visually confusing for me as a man. I’m serious. There were so many women milling around it was hard to get a good look at any particular one of them. They were easy to meet and start a conversation with too, but then St. Louis is a pretty informal and friendly kind of place. And there are a LOT of Catholics there. That informality and friendliness might be one of the reasons so many women felt free to show up. Maybe in other “mini-cultures” it’s considered demeaning.

I have no idea where the guys were, but I sure didn’t miss their presence at the time.

Well, I remember dating in New Orleans as well. It was similar in seeming to have a lot of available women, but then there are a lot of Catholics in N.O. too, and people there were pretty easygoing in their ways, and friendly.

I lived in KC for a time, and it wasn’t quite like that. But then, there aren’t all that many Catholics in KC, and the people generally seem wound tighter.

So, my guess is that it varies from place to place, and might depend on the local culture.

You might have guessed, I pretty much limited myself to Catholic women when it came to dating and such. But at the risk of sounding chauvinistic as well as somewhat traditional in most things, I hardly ever met a Catholic woman who wouldn’t get pretty traditional if I stayed with her very long. I think a lot of women really want to be because men who have traditional mores are perhaps more likely to be faithful as husbands and fathers than a guy who is more relativistic. I never knew a single woman who shot me down because of it.

But I think some guys wear it on their sleeves and might seem rigid because of it. No man truly understands women, but I think most women want a man to be strong in and with himself but understanding and forgiving to those outside himself.

That’s my contribution. Probably worth every dime you paid for it.

Those were all very good points. I especially liked the last one about wanting a man to be strict with himself, but understanding and forgiving of others.

And come to think of it, that’s a good rule for everybody.

 

[hwriggles4]

Well, as a female in the U.S., you’re making me wish that when I was younger I’d had a TARDIS like Doctor Who and could have traveled to Melbourne! My experience at Catholic events I attended in my 20s-30s was that the females outnumbered the males and a lot of us were husband hunting though we tried to pretend we weren’t. If the numbers hadn’t been so stacked against us maybe we’d have been able to chill out a little!

You know, I attended the National Catholic Singles Conference a few times and the Saturday night dance was like “guy heaven”. It was at least two girls to one guy, and I recall dancing so much that my feet hurt the next day. Most of the ladies were open to a “dance”, and wanted to be asked - that was encouraging.

I’ve actually had women tell me that if the ratio is like 67% female to 33% male, some of the ladies think, “well, why should I go?”

I had been to other dances in my younger days, where sometimes it was like high school, where people just wanted to hang out with their friends, and others just wanted to hang out in the beer garden.

At some of the Catholic colleges like the University of Dallas and Franciscan University of Steubenville, females tend to outnumber the males there too.