Why can't my girlfriend spend the night at my house?

[glharris]

So my girlfriend and I have been dating for about a year and two months and things are going well I suppose. One problem though is that we are long distance. She goes to college about two hours from where I live. One of our many discussions was the topic of spending the night (because I want to spend more than just a day or two with her). I ask her if she wants to spend the night at my family’s house and she claims she’ll never do it because it doesn’t feel right. I guess it’s a moral issue.

What I am asking here is for a Catholic’s reasoning behind not spending the night while being in a long distance relationship. I don’t think it’s right being that we are a long-distance relationship (simply because I don’t have the pleasure of seeing her daily) and I really am looking for a serious answer.

I am a non-denominational Christian and I just believe that since we are long distance, it would benefit us to spend the night with each other.

Now before I get chewed out, I am not saying we should share a bed. I respect and understand that. What I don’t understand is why she can’t sleep on my futon (which turns into a bed) for a night just so that we can spend more time with each other? Especially in my family’s home. Or what if I get a hotel room with two beds? I get the resisting the urge to sin and commit in sexual activity response, but honestly, I don’t care for that.

Sidenote: I have had one of my best friends who is a female Christian like myself spend the night at my house and she slept on my futon and I slept in my bed. Her parents are both preachers as well. What’s the big issue here?

 

[Michelle_Arnold]

Staying overnight not just at a boyfriend’s house but in his very bedroom (on his futon) is a cause of scandal and a near occasion of sin. It is scandal because it can lead people to believe that there is no moral issue with a dating couple spending the night together in the same room. It is a near occasion of sin because it can break down barriers to more intimate physical encounters between the couple. (For example, such a couple might be tempted to think, “Why bother with separate beds? We’ll be chaste sharing a bed, just as we are sharing a room.”)

There is also an issue of respecting your girlfriend’s conscience. If she does not want to engage in sharing a residence with you overnight, then you should accept that and not seek to weaken her commitment to her principles by trying to change her mind, especially when you are seeking to do so to satisfy your own desires rather than accommodate her conscientious objection.

If you want your girlfriend to spend a few days in your town, then ask her if she would consider spending a few nights, at her own expense and by herself, at a hotel. If cost is an issue for her, perhaps there are female friends in the area with whom she could stay. But it is not necessary that she spend the night at your house and on your futon in order to visit you in your city.