As I said we shouldn’t condone the wrong doings of others. However, we have to tolerate its their choice. Ive had a relative who was committing fornication. I said that I oppose this and why I did. My reasons were also like recommendations, but would it be right for me to go beyond this? I just ended up giving the attitude that its your choice even though I wouldn’t do that. I hope this form of tolerance is acceptable, because I believe this is how society should remain.
OK, well, it’s not a great analogy, but think of smoking. Let’s say you have a relative dying of lung cancer, the smoking always makes their suffering worse, but they continue to do it.
Of course you encourage them to stop. You don’t buy them cigarettes. You don’t hang around and watch them do it. Still, you realize that there is an element to every behavior that is habit, that to the extent that it is not chosen, is in essence a slavery. They are suffering, but you are there for them, anyway, even if it is self-inflicted. We all know we carry self-inflicted wounds, that we have wounded others. We don’t get on a high horse because we happen to have dodged more bullets than someone else.
If you had a friend whose husband was abusive, of course you’d encourage her to get out before he killed her, but you wouldn’t abandon her. You’d stick around and try to act in a way that would actually have the effect of getting her to want to get out. You would never undermine her self-worth or denigrate her, because she won’t get out if her self-respect doesn’t improve.
All sin is like this. It concerns us primarily because it injures those we love. When it comes to sin, the perpetrator is also a victim. So in a sense, you’re trying to coax a person out of a burning building.
I think you do this with the realization that this time you see, but that maybe next time or in other aspects of your own life, you’re the one who doesn’t see. Righteousness comes from the grace of God, and it is a gift not only to have it, but to even want it. We all come to that at different rates.
Stay calm, and keep your eyes on the goal, which is that the other person actually comes to see that the Good News really is
Good News, not an invitation to go through life looking as if one sucks lemons and enjoys nothing but the smug knowledge that the people enjoying themselves and enjoying life are in the wrong.
And yes, sometimes you remind the person that moral law is still binding and that the law of God is sweet, and then you mind your own business and keep your mouth shut until a particularly good opportunity comes to speak up again. In the meantime, you are patient, kind, polite, rejoice in the good things they do, and all the other things that love is and love demands.
If you read the Gospels, the duty to admonish others is there, but it carries many caveats. One who corrects can easily fall into worse sin than the one originally in need of correction. Such a person can be a stumbling block between sinners and repentance, as well. So there are two ditches one can drive into, one on either side of the road.
