Why do adults without small children sit in the cry room?

[SighGuy]

Whaaat? Haha! That’s crazy.

Look, don’t get fooled into some sort of “I’ll sacrifice myself to make the Mass better for them.” You’re in a cry room for goodness sake. There’s absolutely no reason that you should have to miss the Mass because of someone who is being totally unreasonable.

Now, that doesn’t mean it’s an “anything goes” room. Children ought not to be violent or obscene, hitting others and using vulgar language, and if they are, then you should remove them. But that’s not what’s going on here.

 

[getysbg]

You people are kind of tempting me to want to use the cry room …
Of course I realize that should I do so,
crying children actually take priority …
I would just be a visitor to their room.

…

Ay my former parish in NJ, the pastor had to make an annoucemnt from the pulpit that the “cry room” was to be used only by parents with young children. It’s large enough to hold 50 people and was becoming full!

 

[Lilla321]

At one time we had a priest with a very soft voice but he gave wonderful homilies, But I couldn’t hear him unless I sat in the cry room where it came over the mike much better. Usually I was there by myself but it never bothered me if kiddes were there. I raised 7 of them. Sometimes I was even able to help. Hold baby while Mom was able to take another little one potty etc. God Bless, Memaw

This makes sense to me. And I am very sure the moms appreciated the help. Thank you!

 

[dixieagle]

If one chooses to sit in the “designated noisy child area,” then one should not complain about noisy children!

This, exactly.

It would be difficult for me not to remind that woman who seemed annoyed by your child that she would likely be happier elsewhere, and that it was, after all, a cry room, in case she hadn’t noticed.

 

[Allegra]

This reminds me of when I was in college studying for the listening section of my music history exam. It was late at night and I was listening to the recordings in the music library which was in the basement of the library building. For whatever reason, this guy decided he didn’t want to read on any of the four other floors (two of which were designated quiet floors). Twice he came over and demanded that I turn the volume down on my headphones.

 

[robwar]

This reminds me of when I was in college studying for the listening section of my music history exam. It was late at night and I was listening to the recordings in the music library which was in the basement of the library building. For whatever reason, this guy decided he didn’t want to read on any of the four other floors (two of which were designated quiet floors). Twice he came over and demanded that I turn the volume down on my headphones.

Oh brother, I am sure you really had that music blasting away there. Sadly, there are just too many selfish people out there that think the world (and then the Church) revolves around me, myself and I and no one should dare disturb them at all because they are just so important and are there to bless God with their presence.

 

[InspiritCarol]

Why not ask the person if you are bothering her?
She seemed annoyed, but you have no real idea if it’s at you.

Maybe she expected her daughter to send the grand kids back to be with her.
Maybe the daughter never made it to Mass.
Maybe her husband just died and she knew she would cry if she sat in a pew. (I’ve known people to hide in a “cry” room for this reason.
Maybe her niece is giving her baby up for adoption and she just learned she’ll never get to hold the baby even once. (Another real-life scenario).

Truth be told you can never know unless you ask. If she’s indeed a “nut job”, best to find out and communicate that fact to the pastor before there is a real problem. Trust me, it is unwise to anger … umm … let’s call them “reality challenged” people.

 

[Lilla321]

We could ask. I have no anger toward anyone in the room, nor do I feel anyone is crazy for sitting in there. I just wondered if there were reasons people would sit in there that I couldn’t think of - and indeed it seems there were. It seemed odd to me that people would choose to sit in a cry room where they know babies will be noisy. But, after reading all these answers, I can see why some people would. But, I also think we will not leave the room again and miss Mass. After the Mass when my husband thought I should leave the room with my daughter, I asked him, “If we can’t sit in the cry room, where else can we go?” I think everyone should be able to experience Mass, no matter where they sit, for whatever reason. Hopefully he read the women wrong and they weren’t annoyed with us. Who knows, though, unless we ask. I have no problem per se, just wondered why people would chose to sit there. Now I have some insight and thank you all for the replies!

 

[mersch]

Why not ask the person if you are bothering her?
She seemed annoyed, but you have no real idea if it’s at you.

Maybe she expected her daughter to send the grand kids back to be with her.
Maybe the daughter never made it to Mass.
Maybe her husband just died and she knew she would cry if she sat in a pew. (I’ve known people to hide in a “cry” room for this reason.
Maybe her niece is giving her baby up for adoption and she just learned she’ll never get to hold the baby even once. (Another real-life scenario).

Truth be told you can never know unless you ask. If she’s indeed a “nut job”, be

st to find out and communicate that fact to the pastor before there is a real problem. Trust me, it is unwise to anger … umm … let’s call them “reality challenged” people.

Because sometimes I cry,

 

[InspiritCarol]

Because sometimes I cry,

And when we cry or are trying not to, we can look *very *annoyed.
Usually at ourselves or circumstances we can’t control.

I stand up in front of people for most of Mass and have unintentionally hurt peoples’ feelings when I have been deep in thought about something and accidentally made eye contact with some random person.

I know I am grateful when they let me know I have done this so I can correct any misconceptions.

Of course you don’t ever need to leave the cry room with a crying child, but I have a couple of times too when the “meltdown” was too extreme. If this happens, you can still go to Communion. Just listen for the bells. You know, the ones they use at consecration.
These were brought into use back in the day when the church’s were overflowing and that was the only way to let people know outside that the Transfiguration was occurring.

I have hung close to the door and listened for the “Our Father”. This is your choice and it is a licit option, but again, crying and fussing are to be expected in the cry room.

Conversely, if other children have bugged me too much in the cry room, I have simply brought my kids back to Mass. I try to keep us there (in the pews) as much as possible in any case. (Don’t we all?)

If you do approach someone, (I’m sure you know, but I figure I better say just in case) it’s best to say something like: “I hope we’re not bothering you” or the like. Do not say: “what is your problem?”
lol
No one would do that right?

 

[Aramis]

I can see some reasons now. So, if my daughter is screaming or otherwise being disruptive, should I leave the cry room if she is disturbing people?

NO!!! Sorry for the shout. But no - the cry room is specific for that. If someone is complaining about it, they shouldn’t be in the cry room!

We have no cry room - some parishioners use the narthex in lieu of one - but our pastor has insisted that “children are children, and in church they should be at home!” (He’s got a thick Ukrainian accent. And a wife and 3 children.) The only thing that stops for crying children is the readings.

Now, if someone complains about a noisy child in the cry room, I’d suggest (and have in the past used) asking them, “Are you aware you’re in the cry room?” Sometimes, they aren’t aware.