Why do I dislike my roommate?

[Shana]

This is my second year as her roommate, I knew her the year before as well. She as done absolutely nothing wrong and is a good person. For some reason I dislike her for no reason. Is it because I need space? I have classes with her too. Maybe we are too much alike, people all the time ask if we are sisters, or get our names mixed up which for some reason I can’t stand. I’m very judgemental of her appearance, maybe because we are told we look alike, and I percieve myself, probably innaccurately as being “prettier” than her which is horrible I know. We even have the same car. How can I shake myself of this hate? I’ve gone to confession about it but it hasn’t gone away and I’m getting discouraged, I don’t want to sin but there’s something disordered about my emotions which makes it hard. Maybe I had a bad first impression, when I first worked with her on a project during freshman year I instantly didn’t like her (late that year I liked her but these past few years something is not right with me). Can anyone relate? I’m not like this with other people generally.

 

[noclevername]

See if you can get a new roommate. It isn’t that big of a deal. Sometimes when two people live together in a roommate situation, you find out you aren’t compatible. It’s not that you don’t like the person, you just don’t live together well. And sometimes you just don’t know why you don’t like something about someone, but you just don’t like them. Nothing to be ashamed of and you are not sinning, you just don’t get along well.

 

[BrokenFortress]

For me, I think some people just don’t mesh well, and just don’t really get along. Hating is a different story to me, but just in general not wanting to be friends with someone and kind of disliking their personality I think is pretty normal.

Is this a college dorm roommate? Or is there any way you can get a different roommate?

 

[Angels_Unaware]

Hmm…there must have been a reason you agreed to be her roommate, so at one time you probably liked her, so my guess is that you are correct. You need your space, and it has more to do with your perception that there’s not enough emotional distance between you, especially because of your similarities. Think of it as something akin to sibling rivalry.

Maybe it would be a good idea to figure out a way to get some emotional space. That might mean getting a new roomate, or something like adding a third, or moving to a new area with more room.