We’ve been sweethearts for 15 years, lived together for 10 years, and have been married for 4 years. I found him looking at porn about six months after we started living together. I was not practicing the faith at the time, I came back to the church 3 years ago after we discussed having a baby. He is terribly hurt by my involvement in the church, that’s a huge part of our problem. I don’t try to convert him, because it would cause trouble, but he can’t seem to just let me practice the faith. He feels abandoned in a way. We really need to talk about this with a disinterested third party. He has serious trust issues and an extremely problematic childhood experience. Since the baby was born in 2006, and I was laid off from my job making him the sole source of income, his behavior has seriously deteriorated. He uses marijuana habitually, and drinks too much too often as well. I was his smoking buddy for many years, but I left all that behind in 2005 when we decided to have a baby. I hoped he would straighten up like I did for the sake of family and our family’s future, but it actually got worse. He’s making more money now than he ever has in his life, he’s more than capable of providing. I can’t understand the choices he’s making. I didn’t think he was this disturbed, that he would jeopardize his child’s future in this way. He loves his son dearly, none of this makes sense.
There’s been a whole lot of changes between us in the last three years, but nothing so problematic that could possibly justify his behavior. Why does he choose to go off to a prostitute and continually escape his personal problems, and problems in our relationship, rather than just fix them and live truthfully? So that’s why I’m asking the question here, why would a married man choose to go to a prostitute rather than work things out with a woman who’s more than willing?
