Why do parents allow kids to dress scandalously at mass?

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**Why do parents allow kids to dress scandalously at mass? **

**On the one hand, I am glad to see parents bringing their children to church on Sunday but I am really puzzled why parents allow children to wear such scandalous clothing to mass. I’m referring to girls with their midriff showing due to low rise skirts and jeans and short tops. Also, stretchy, clinging clothing that show every body part. Today I was shocked to see a young girl with a skirt so short it looked like a tennis skirt and as if that wasn’t bad enough, she was wearing semi-high heeled shoes and a clinging sleeveless top. It looked like something you see walking the streets (if you know what I mean) and yet her mother and father sat beside her as if they hadn’t a clue how inappropriate she looked. **

**I try not to be judgmental and I truly would rather see a college student at mass on their own (while they are living away from home) even if they aren’t dressed completely appropriately because at least they are coming to mass! But when parents accompany younger children to mass, how can they condone such dress? **

Our priest has tried on a couple of occasions to address the issue of modesty of dress for mass but the message doesn’t seem to get through. He made it clear that he was not referring to a dress code but mere modesty.

**What are these parents thinking? Are they really living so much “in the world” that they do not see? :banghead: **
 
What are these parents thinking? Are they really living so much “in the world” that they do not see?
I have asked that question myself. I try not to oggle people and think “Oh My goodness!!” but believe it or not about 9 years ago this particular family dressed their 10 year old daughter in a mini skirt and half shirt and this outfit had little strips on the side to hold the mini skirt and half shirt together. I was very surprised when I saw that.
 
This is so true! I get so saddened when I see things like this- especially in church.

Last night, our community had the high school prom’s promenade, which is an announcing of the prom goers to show off the dresses and take pictures, etc. Well, for the most part, the dresses were beautiful and traditional, but two stood out so bad. One had a J-Lo type cutout in the front from the neck to the belly button and the other was a skirt with a tiny midriff top. I can’t help but wonder how these parents react to these dresses- or how the parents of the date react! :bigyikes:

My hubby and I are listening to Christopher West’s Naked Without Shame and I heard something today that stuck out today. He was referring to modesty and why we cover the parts that distinguish us as male or female. Christopher said that covering these parts respects our dignity to avoid being used as an object by the opposite gender. I will definitely instill this in my children!👍
 
I think that letting kids dress that way comes from mom and dad trying to be “friends” with their offspring rather than being parents.
 
Last July I attended a relative’s wedding in a Catholic church and got a surprise. The bride and groom and the whole wedding party were in their early twenties. The men were dressed appropriately. But, the bride’s gown was topless and quite revealing - in fact everything threatened to fall out. The bridesmaids wore what I call “the little black dress” with extremely short skirts and revealing tops.

I was surprised, since I thought most priests exercised some control over wedding parties. I spoke to others my age and somewhat younger (forties and older) who were also taken aback by the display. However, when I spoke to some younger people there, including my son, it was a nonissue - they just didn’t notice.

And, for the record, the bride and groom and the entire wedding party were all very polite, decent people from respectable families, not wild types.
 
People have become so used to seeing immodest clothes, that they don’t think anything of it. They just don’t get it. I’ve seen all you mention, and more, at Mass. (thongs showing above low cut jeans, white, see through shorts in the summer, bra straps showing …) I see dresses in the mall that are no different than what my mother and grandmother considered slips. No joke . . . instead of being white, they’re floral, but they’re no bigger than slips. Very sad. Teenage boys have my sympathy.

–KCT
 
Blanka said:
**What are these parents thinking? Are they really living so much “in the world” that they do not see? :banghead: **
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I think many people do not see, as you say. The question for us is, how can we help others to see, and when should we do it?

Just think of the poor girl who does have a sense of modesty, but she has a mother who doesn’t. How she must hate what she is made to wear. I know more than one someone who went through this. Eventually they got old enough to either have control of their wardrobe or to be smart enough to explain what is bothering her to the mother even though she has no formal instruction in modesty to use as a springboard.
 
Immodesty starts early. Parents will get their kids immodest clothes before kids know what the word even means. By the time they are choosing what they want to wear, they are used to scandalous clothing and think nothing of the souls that must be falling from grace.

Judgement Day will be a wake up call for these people (young adults and parents). Whether or not God holds them subjectively guilty (ie., if they realize what they are doing is wrong), they will see what they’ve done to any souls that may have been lost. And “It was the fashion of the time!” will not be enough for the Almighty, I fear.

Pray for modesty among the young people out there, and raise your kids to guard their decency instead of flaunting their gifts as if they were wares at a meat market.
 
Definitely gets me rather google eyed when I see a young lady with something cut down to there or shortened up to here. I don’t think they realize they look like tarts. It’s the style, it’s what they see Britney wearing or it’s what their friends wear. You wonder what the parents think? ( or as puzzle annie said, what they are wearing?)

On a similar note, one of our Eucharistic ministers said she’s appalled at some of the vulgar slogans on kids’ tee shirts. Mostly boys but some girls. She said she sees them up close and personal and wonders why parents would let the kid out of the house with that sentiment across his chest.

Lisa N
 
One thing my diocese did that was kind of a good idea was to put on a modesty fashion show. This was done at a mother/daughter workshop presentation on chastity that I presented at. The organizer got two hip high schoolers (they were twins) and one would dress up like the norm and the other would show how to add modesty to the same attire (putting a cute button down shirt over a tank, etc.). It was clever, but didn’t reach a lot of girls it needed to, since mostly the “modest crowd” was in attendance at the workshop.
 
Maybe we should all wear albs when attending Mass. Sort of a liturgical uniform.
 
Lisa N:
On a similar note, one of our Eucharistic ministers said she’s appalled at some of the vulgar slogans on kids’ tee shirts.
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The person you are referring to is an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion, not a Eucharistic minister. The minister of that sacrament is the priest or bishop.

I am appalled at some of the things the EHMCs wear. But the problem there is that some of them dress like slobs, not sluts.
 
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NFPfamily:
One thing my diocese did that was kind of a good idea was to put on a modesty fashion show.
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My dd’s Challenge club does this every year. It’s a big hit. This year, for the prom scene, want to know which dress got applause? The asian girl who wore a traditional dress – high collar, sleeves, long in length. She was gorgeous and was the most covered up! (not that any were too revealing) —KCT
 
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Pentecost2005:
The person you are referring to is an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion, not a Eucharistic minister. The minister of that sacrament is the priest or bishop.
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You’re right, I think people just call them Eucharistic Ministers because they don’t know it’s incorrect. Sorry. I did know.
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Pentecost2005:
I am appalled at some of the things the EHMCs wear. But the problem there is that some of them dress like slobs, not sluts.
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Sad but true. What’s with that? Do they not know they are going to serve? Seeing someone with the body and blood of Christ in a pair of shorts, wrinkled tee shirt and flipflops is sort of a jarring image:eek: . I hear that people WANT to do this, and don’t get to serve enough. You think that if this position were so coveted they would step up to the plate and put on something besides beach wear.

Lisa N
 
Sometimes parents get very very tired and kids sometimes no just exactly when to test parents.

If a kid pulls the old immodest clothing appearance just before leaving for church, tell them to wear a long coat or sweater and leave it on. After sweating for an hour in church maybe the kid will learn a lesson.
 
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Pentecost2005:
The person you are referring to is an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion, not a Eucharistic minister. The minister of that sacrament is the priest or bishop.
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I have no doubt you are correct, but I have never heard them so referred to at Mass. I have made this mistake before and I know others do to because I hear it all the time.
 
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geezerbob:
I think that letting kids dress that way comes from mom and dad trying to be “friends” with their offspring rather than being parents.
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That is true. If they are a friend then how can they make them do things like that. I have been guilty of that in many areas, but there are a few exceptions that cannot be made…and this is one of them. I tell my daughter that she can either pick something appropriate, or I will pick her something and I guarantee it will look nice and she knows that that means something I like and she won’t. I don’t mean anything embarrasing, just a nice skirt and blouse. And that to her is a clown suit.

It reminds me of a mom who told me her daughter won’t go to church…she is 15 like my daughter. I told her mine does not want to go either…but I don’t give her a choice. Another example is not wearing a seatbelt. I had a friend whose 4 yr old would not hook up and was not made to. That is not an option and there should be things that are not up for debate and what is worn in church should be one of them.
 
My parents would never let my sister dress scadalously outside of Mass let alone at Mass. As for my brother and I, we were never allowed to wear shorts to Mass no matter how hot the weather was.

As my uncle (a priest) has taught: you should dress as if you were going to a wedding feast (beacuse you are).
 
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OriginalJS:
But, the bride’s gown was topless and quite revealing - in fact everything threatened to fall out.

Not to nitpick, but I do hope that you meant to say strapless and not topless. 😃
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