Why do people ask questions for validation instead of in search of the truth or honest opinion?

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Jump4Joy

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I don’t understand. If you ask you’re opening up to a myriad of answers. Do some people truly expect everyone to agree with them or see through the same lens? Why does anyone need validation? People are entitled to their opinions regardless. Why feel threatened?
 
You answered your own question. They ask questions for validation. They are not interested in knowledge.
 
Why do some people need validation? Am I doing this right now? Isn’t that a bad characteristic? That leads to intolerance or weighing your worth on people’s opinions
 
People need validation for different reasons. They want to know they are right because they are unsure, or they know they are right and want others to know it.

Only you know if you are doing it, but maybe you are if you are seeking a certain answer from us.
 
I want to prove to someone that seeling validation is wrong and unhealthy. I don’t know if everyone thinks that way though
 
Then yes, you are seeking our validation of your point, to prove your point. You want us to agree with you so you can say something to someone else, that you are “right.”
 
Are you asking because you really want to know why people do this or because you want to be validated that it’s okay to feel confused by people who do this? 😜
 
Jump4Joy said:
Why does anyone need validation? People are entitled to their opinions regardless. Why feel threatened?
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I’ve never understood this myself. I always figure if I don’t like broccoli, I don’t like broccoli. If you want to eat it, go eat it, have fun, leave me out. I don’t need 15 people to agree with me that broccoli tastes bad or is the worst thing in the world.

I have seen other people, including some of my dear family members, who really wanted people to sympathize or agree with them on certain things. I think they felt insecure in their own viewpoints for one reason or another. Or maybe like they didn’t have anybody to talk to about how they felt, and they really needed that affirmation. I am apparently wired a different way because 90 percent of the time I don’t care.
 
Jump4Joy said:
I want to prove to someone that seeling validation is wrong and unhealthy. I don’t know if everyone thinks that way though
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Well, now you’re posing a different question.

Just because I don’t understand why people go around seeking affirmation doesn’t make it “wrong and unhealthy”.
It makes it “different from me”.

Why would you want to prove it’s “wrong”? It’s just a human trait that some humans do.

It seems like a lot of people on this forum and on the Internet in general are overly interested in denigrating the viewpoints of others who disagree with them, often over relatively trivial matters.
 
A family member of mine doesn’t trust her own intuition because she fears being dramatic. I guess she’s witnessed the ugliness of people being so certain of their rightness that they never change, dismiss other perspectives. She’s fearful of falling into pride so she tells me. Everyone has a different life, i got to talking to her. Apparently she had been falsely accused once of being a mistress in someone’s marriage, the wife believed 100% she was correct and insisted a confession. Sadly the couple divorced because of the accusations. I guess sometimes you need to bounce back ideas right?
 
What makes you believe I don’t value emotions? The book you suggested.
 
Jump4Joy said:
What makes you believe I don’t value emotions? The book you suggested.
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I’m not following what you’re saying. This book has nothing to do with denying emotions.

You asked a question about understanding the need for validation. Conrad Baars, though he died nearly 3 decades ago, is the pioneer of what’s known as affirmation theory and his books are excellent resources for Catholics seeking help. They are also great resources for those who are trying to understand where people are coming from.

Given your other threads where you have dismissed the “feeling” part of our human nature outright as a bad thing, this book may help you intellectually grasp the concepts that you struggle with and have presented in nearly all of your posts.
 
On the Popular Media forum, just a couple of days ago, one or two replies – including mine – met with a rather brusque retort from the OP, ending with the words, “I don’t like it.” I then posted this comment in reply:

“Naturally your personal likes and dislikes are nobody’s business but your own. However, you posted your OP to be read and, presumably, to be replied to. That’s what comments threads are for. You must have been aware, when you posted it, that some commenters might disagree with you.”

The OP’s answer came as a pleasant surprise, complete with an emoji :
“Well it wouldn’t be fun if they agreed! 😁 ”
 
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The worst thing is when someone sincerely asks for help or advice and the person they asked just shoves a self-help book at them. It’s a way of letting you know they feel superior, they’ve “diagnosed” what’s wrong with you and just would rather not be bothered. It’s a rather cowardly form of apathy obvious to everyone but them.

The book-shovers of the world, in my experience, are usually the ones who need help the most… And usually on the very topic their peddling. So, just slide the book back to them. They need it more than you. 😎
 
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TheOldColonel said:
The worst thing is when someone sincerely asks for help or advice and the person they asked just shoves a self-help book at them. It’s a way of letting you know they feel superior, they’ve “diagnosed” what’s wrong with you and just would rather not be bothered. It’s a rather cowardly form of apathy obvious to everyone but them.

The book-shovers of the world, in my experience, are usually the ones who usually need help the most… And usually on the very topic their peddling. So, just slide the book back to them. They need it more than you. 😎
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I suggest the book because I like it and it’s proven helpful. Heck, I’d go so far to say I love the book.

I also suggest it because every Catholic Psychologist and any priest gifted with the council has read Conrad Baars. Typically, those who come across him in academia do not read this book, but rather his extensive work into how valuation and affirmation can have a great impact on mental health and physical health. Everyone who wants to understand modern emotions from a Catholic perspective should familiarize themselves with Baars. He’s literally one of the only modern Catholic psychologists who has published significant bodies of work.

I am not suggesting that the OP shove the book at her family member, but that she read it like a case study.

She has stated over and over she doesn’t understand emotion. While many of us have studied psychology, theology, philosophy very few of us are practitioners of those fields and those who know that it can’t be hashed out in a few posts over a forum.

Every class has at least one text. If you’re approaching the topic of dealing with the inner workings of human emotions and impact on actions from a Catholic perspective there is no better author than Baars. There are better authors on human emotion but they are not Catholic. There are amazing doctors of the church but they don’t often cover the emotional side.
 
Anytime you post something online or even have a conversation you must know that someone will disagree. I’m not sure why people are uncomfortable with disagreements. Or need others to understand how and why they feel a particular way. It is their business.
 
As that other guy said, a comments thread where everybody agrees with everybody else is no fun at all.
 
Why do people feel upset if you disagree with them especially if they asked for an opinion?
 
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