Why do people expect sympathy after making foolish choices?

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Maybe because the foolish choices have caused unexpected and tragic consequences in their lives. It would be great to have made all the right choices and require no sympathy at all. It is better to look upon those who have sought what they thought would bring them some kind of solace in this life only find misery, some kind of understanding and yes, sympathy. Jesus had pity for poor sinners. How wonderful it must have been to be the woman at the well or Mary Magdalen and see those eyes of mercy in a world of rejection.
 
Our culture teaches the following (this is not a comprehensive list):
  1. The devil made me do it.
  2. I want a do-over.
  3. Everybody should have a second chance.
  4. I’m a victim of …fill in the blank…
With that in mind, we should still be sympathetic to people’s pain, perhaps help them understand what happened, and why, but be careful not to help them justify bad behavior.

IMHO 🤷
 
Define foolish choice. Skydiving? Marathon running? Joining peace Corp? Snake charming? One person’s foolish choice is another’s greatest passion.
 
ricmat said:
Our culture teaches the following (this is not a comprehensive list):
  1. The devil made me do it.
  2. I want a do-over.
  3. Everybody should have a second chance.
  4. I’m a victim of …fill in the blank…
With that in mind, we should still be sympathetic to people’s pain, perhaps help them understand what happened, and why, but be careful not to help them justify bad behavior.

IMHO 🤷
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Isn’t that our bad behavior as well? What do you do after you committed a serious offense? There is always repentance. That really doesn’t change the circumstances. I often wonder why God allows certain people like St. Maryo of Egypt to persist in their errors for a while and there are those he quickly admonishes like King David. The ways of the Lord are truly mysterious.
 
CRATUS said:
I often wonder why God allows certain people like St. Maryo of Egypt to persist in their errors for a while and there are those he quickly admonishes like King David. The ways of the Lord are truly mysterious.
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Perhaps both were admonished, but only King David had it publicized.
 
Seems reasonable to me. Being foolish is one thing, realising the error of your ways is a big step in the right direction and a time when we need support. Obviously not sympathy for the actual sin, but sympathy for the struggle of coming to terms with the weakness/failing, what happened, the consequences and trying to “sin no more”.

I wonder whether people are really looking for understanding and support? In the sacrament of reconciliation I often need loving sympathy for where I am (in need of forgiveness and reconciliation with God and the Church) and that helps me to listen to the guidance because it feels as if my confessor is standing next to me spiritually, pointing the path ahead and giving me help, instead of condemning me. It is also comforting receiving genuine sympathy from a fellow parishioner, because it reassures me that I am not the only foolish idiot in the community and I can start to move forwards e.g. positive encouragement and mutual support.🤷
 
Strydersroom said:
Define foolish choice. Skydiving? Marathon running? Joining peace Corp? Snake charming? One person’s foolish choice is another’s greatest passion.
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Visiting North Korea, hiking near the Iranian border, or a young woman becoming an aid worker in a Middle East war zone are extremely foolish choices. If any one of those aforementioned things are a person’s “greatest passion” then they are on their own.

But really, thinking about what the consequences might be if something goes wrong and still going forward - I would call such a thing stupidity.
 
CRATUS said:
Deliberately sinning
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I’m going to go out on a limb and say that a number of people do this.

Mortal sin requires three things:
  1. Grave matter,
  2. Full knowledge, and
  3. Full consent
So, if someone commits a mortal sin, they know that they did. It isn’t an accident, etc.
No one here on Earth is free from sin and never will be.

We should try to show each other compassion and mercy in the face of sin. One doesn’t need to support the sin to show compassion. Love the sinner, hate the sin, as the saying goes.
 
There are three kinds of legit poor people:
  1. Temporary
  2. Infirm
  3. Residual (insane debt from a previous legit reason)
I have yet to meet a poor person who stays poor outside of the above who doesn’t do whatever they want.

“I need the new phone” “why my landlord a meanie head and evicting me for not paying”

“I have to blow off some steam so I need to go out 3 nights a week” “lost my job bc I can’t afford gas in my car”

“I aint working for that little bit” “homeless because the world is not fair”

“Ewwwwwww off brand stuff is not even edible” “man loan me $50 so I can keep my electric on please”

There has always been some… but thanks to social engineering and the “welfare mentality” this is nearing majority.

Everyone gets a trophy!!!
 
CRATUS said:
Own up to your mistakes and move on.
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If someone made a mistake, and it had tragic or long-lasting consequences, then they deserve sympathy.

You should give someone sympathy when they are in a bad situation regardless of whether or not they caused it.

“If you didn’t want to die a slow lingering cancer death than you shouldn’t have gotten addicted to one of the most addictive substances known to man!” “If you didn’t want to be violently raped on a regular basis without recourse than you shouldn’t have been born in an environment for which crime appeared the only escape!” “If you didn’t want to be homeless than you shouldn’t have been born poor!”
This type of thinking needs to stop. You don’t have a finite amount of sympathy, it’s not a choice between feeling sympathy for the drug addict or the starving orphan, you can feel sympathy for BOTH.

But this question illustrates a problem with the church; too may people in the flock are bitter and hard-hearted. It might just be a loud minority of faithful, but it’s still driving people away from God. I’d rather a church of 90% luke-warm people than a church of only 90 burning Catholics.

Having a Hard Heart will NOT bring you closer to God.
 
Graceful_Lamb said:
I’m going to go out on a limb and say that a number of people do this.

Mortal sin requires three things:
  1. Grave matter,
  2. Full knowledge, and
  3. Full consent
So, if someone commits a mortal sin, they know that they did. It isn’t an accident, etc.
No one here on Earth is free from sin and never will be.

We should try to show each other compassion and mercy in the face of sin. One doesn’t need to support the sin to show compassion. Love the sinner, hate the sin, as the saying goes.
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What about non Catholics who don’t have degrees of “sin” like mortal/venial or who don’t believe that all sins are equal or even sins themselves?
 
Graceful_Lamb said:
We should try to show each other compassion and mercy in the face of sin. One doesn’t need to support the sin to show compassion.
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This was the main problem involving the recent Orlando mass shooting, far too many people stepped over the line into ‘offering’ support for the sin rather than just compassion for the victims in general, and I think that was done on purpose for a specific reason.
 
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