Why do some people nest in the confessional?

[pensmama87]

In a previous parish there was a woman who went to confession every time it was offered. She would take up more time than most. At first I was a bit annoyed, especially if I was at the end of the line.

But then it occurred to me this woman was suffering. I don’t know her struggles but there were times I could hear her wailing in the confessional. Couldn’t hear her confession but I/we were able to hear her cries. She certainly was in pain so she needed that time. So I made a decision, well a couple of decisions. When I went to confession I would either go early to get in line and if not that, to pray for this woman. I’m not sure if her life is any better for the prayer, but mine is.

Oh, I will pray for that woman. We have a few people like that in our parish, too.

It is very, very easy to be annoyed with people like this, unfortunately. But they need our prayers. I am thankful they don’t get turned out by our priests. There was one elderly man who attended a previous parish who had been thrown out of every other church in town. The pastor knew he could be irritating, but at least he had a place to go.

 

[WJeffrey]

There are multiple legitimate reasons why a priest would not be able to do this.

There is no indication in the OP that confession in this parish is only available for 20 minutes per week.

Nor does it say that it is available for more than 20 minutes per week. Given that the only mention of time mentioned is 20 minutes, I’d say the odds are probably safe that there isn’t a minimum of an hour per week.

Frankly, any Parish Priest who does not have a minimum of an hour reserved for confession is shirking his duty. Even notoriously lazy College Professors have longer scheduled office hours each week.

Like it or not, the Pope has been stressing the importance of reconciliation in this Year of Mercy.

The OP feels the wait for reconciliation is too long. The Priest should be offering more Confession hours. The Shepard cares for his flock. It isn’t the job of the sheep to care for the Shepard.

 

[TeilhardRocks]

I think the time thing might just be part of the process. I was one of those people that blindsided the priest with a 19 year gap so that was a long one. My third was really long since it included me double checking with Father that I really was still Catholic and that I hadn’t been commiting sacrilege. At that point that Father moved me toward one of the adult education programs and set up additional scheduled time with me not as confession but more general discussion. I think I needed those initial long ones to work through not only my sins but also my anxiety and lack of trust. After that I was not afraid of Father; I knew I was not going to be kicked out. I was comfortable to call the office, meet with Father, go to additional classes, etc. Now I am pretty quick in and out of confession since I am not trying to use it for broad counseling/catechesis.

 

[UpUpAndAway]

Nor does it say that it is available for more than 20 minutes per week. Given that the only mention of time mentioned is 20 minutes, I’d say the odds are probably safe that there isn’t a minimum of an hour per week.

In the interest of charity, I tried to assume the best. This does not mean your deduction is absolutely false, only that there is no proof of it based upon what the OP has said so far.

Frankly, any Parish Priest who does not have a minimum of an hour reserved for confession is shirking his duty. Even notoriously lazy College Professors have longer scheduled office hours each week.

I actually agree with you on this point, and know of no parish priest who does not. Still, to believe the OP’s parish priest does not make at least that much confession time available each week assumes facts not in evidence…though I again emphasize it is not impossible.

Like it or not, the Pope has been stressing the importance of reconciliation in this Year of Mercy.

I don’t see anyone saying or even suggesting they don’t like this.

The OP feels the wait for reconciliation is too long. The Priest should be offering more Confession hours.

Well, increasing the amount of time available to confess does nothing to insure the OP wouldn’t still have to wait a long time to do so on any given day. It all depends upon the people ahead of him in line and how long their confessions ultimately take.

Again, I’m not saying you’re wrong. All I’m saying is that there isn’t enough info to definitively conclude the priest is 100% to blame.

The Shepard cares for his flock.

Once again, we agree. The shepherd’s responsibility is to care for his flock. However, the flock has many, many needs of which reconciliation is but one - a very important one, no doubt, but a parish priest has other important responsibilities as well, and sometimes these must take priority.

It isn’t the job of the sheep to care for the Shepard.

Could you please elaborate on this? I’m having trouble understanding this statement in the context of the thread.

 

[Gertabelle]

I actually agree with you, but as I was advising the OP I can only suggest that which he can control. It certainly wouldn’t be very wise, charitable or helpful for me to say, “If timing is critical for you, be sure to tell the people in line in front of you to make it snappy or call for an appointment”

Indeed! You are so absolutely correct in this!

Since there is no way of knowing how long the people in line ahead of us will need, our only options are to be patient or plan ahead. I avail myself of the sacrament on a regular basis, so I know well ahead of time when I will go to confession. Due to the current circumstances of my life, I knew well in advance that the only way I was going to be able to confess on Saturday April 23 was to make an appointment, so that’s exactly what I did. In February.

I do realize, however, that planning ahead isn’t always possible. Much depends on each individual’s confessing habits and struggle with sin.

Sadly, I cannot plan ahead like that. :nope:

And God bless you as well, dear.

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Regarding priests giving long counseling during confession… I once stood in line on a Saturday afternoon for an hour waiting to confess and be absolved of a mortal sin. There were probably 20 people in line, and I was maybe #15. Each confession seemed to be taking an interminable amount of time, and there was only one priest that day.

As the time for mass approached, some people started getting out of line – both ahead of me and behind me. When the allotted confession time ended, I was second in line. Father always left the confessional right when the allotted time ended, so he came out and headed directly to the sacristy to prepare for mass.

I followed him! I walked right into the sacristy and asked him to hear my confession right then and there! Talk about humiliation! He started to say no, but I persisted, saying that I’d waited in line for an hour. He said he felt that he had to offer to counsel to everyone, and that takes time. Then I said “Please, Father, I have a mortal sin on my soul!” and he acquiesced, God bless him!

All the mass servers were in the “dressing room” next door, so he shut the door and heard my confession and gave me absolution in less than a minute. I’m very active in my parish, and this priest knew me well, so this was extremely humiliating. I wonder, however, if God used that moment to help him as well as me, as this priest seemed to pick up the pace of his confessions after that.

And that humiliation helps me to this day to keep away from sin and near occasions of sin

 

[fisherman_carl]

The last time this happened to me, when I had to wait a long time, I thought that there must be a person who hasn’t been to confession 20 years in there. To my surprise I discovered it was the priest who was taking up the time. I was far enough away not to make out any words, but I could hear mumbling, and then when I went in, he talked and talked and talked. I was behind a screen so i couldn’t show any non-verbal signals, and I didn’t want to interrupt him, but he did manage to make it out in time to say Mass. The person behind me must have thought the same as I did.

Ha ha. That’s kind of funny. Last time when I went to confession I was so tired that it was all a blur and afterwards I realized I didn’t know what the penance was. So I just did all of the past penances he usually gives. Lol. I am usually pretty quick.

 

[Mary_Ellen]

I have very bad knees so it’s hard for me to stand a long time… Also, I have little to no patience. Both those things prompt me to be very, very early for Confession so that I’m first in line. By early I mean an hour, as some others come 30-45 minutes to wait for the priest. I’m in an unusual position in that I have the keys to the church and I can get in before the sacristan opens the building for the public. Those who wait before Confession starts are able to sit in the pews before having to queue up at 3:00 pm.

The priest who usually hears Confession at that time and place sometimes performs the full rite, beginning with a Scripture reading. He doesn’t do this when there are what he considers a lot of people in line when he enters the confessional. He’s always generous with his counselling, however, and that definitely adds time to the process.

I never ask questions, I consider that fodder for making an appointment outside of Confession with the priest. I just go in with a written list of 5-10 sins and read through it. I write the list the way I want to say it so it’s easy to do: I don’t forget sins, and I don’t stumble into adding unnecessary details to my confession. If I haven’t given enough detail in my confession than I figure the priest can ask for more. My part of the Rite of Confession only takes 2-3 minutes this way. The rest of the time is up to the priest.

If someone is in front of me in line and seems to be taking a long time I try to be charitable in my thoughts. I try very hard to remember to pray for the penitent, for the priest, and for the others in line. It’s none of my business as to why its taking more than 5 minutes for someone else’s confession.

 

[babochka]

I have very bad knees so it’s hard for me to stand a long time… Also, I have little to no patience. Both those things prompt me to be very, very early for Confession so that I’m first in line.

I find it interesting that you don’t have the patience to wait in line, but waiting in the pews before the line begins is not a problem. (I’m addressing only the lack of patience issue here, not the bad knees.) In my parish, the line, such as it is, is in the pews, so we don’t generally stand. Another parish nearby tends to have a long line, but many take a break from the standing to sit in a pew for few minutes. Someone is always more than happy to save a spot for this.

The priest who usually hears Confession at that time and place sometimes performs the full rite, beginning with a Scripture reading. He doesn’t do this when there are what he considers a lot of people in line when he enters the confessional. He’s always generous with his counselling, however, and that definitely adds time to the process.

I never ask questions, I consider that fodder for making an appointment outside of Confession with the priest. I just go in with a written list of 5-10 sins and read through it. I write the list the way I want to say it so it’s easy to do: I don’t forget sins, and I don’t stumble into adding unnecessary details to my confession. If I haven’t given enough detail in my confession than I figure the priest can ask for more. My part of the Rite of Confession only takes 2-3 minutes this way. The rest of the time is up to the priest.

If someone is in front of me in line and seems to be taking a long time I try to be charitable in my thoughts. I try very hard to remember to pray for the penitent, for the priest, and for the others in line. It’s none of my business as to why its taking more than 5 minutes for someone else’s confession.

It sounds like you have a great approach for yourself, and a great attitude toward others. A perfect balance.

 

[babochka]

.

Do you like to nest in the confessional?

Why, yes, I do like to nest in the confessional.

What I mean is that I greatly appreciate that my priest takes as much time as needed to give good advice He takes the words of St. Alphonsus Ligouri, the patron saint of confessors, to heart: **“It is better to hear one confession well than to hear a great number imperfectly. But the most appropriate answer is, that the confessor has not to give an account to God of the persons who are waiting, but only of the person whose confession he has begun to hear.” ** Although he will check the time before or after, during the confession he will not rush and gives each penitent the same consideration and hears each confession well, even if it takes time. Does that mean that sometimes my confession won’t be heard because Father is spending a long time with someone else? It has happened. In spite of the fact that we are a very small parish, there is almost always a line. Confessions are scheduled on Sunday mornings, an hour before the Divine Liturgy. Yesterday, I arrived 30 minutes into the scheduled time and there were 4 people in line ahead of me and 1 after me. If my turn comes up and it is close to the time to end, sometimes Father will ask if I mind waiting until after the liturgy. I don’t mind. It happens.

I have had priests who like to talk and talk and talk, and not always about things related to confession. Once, a priest kept me in confession for about 25 minutes. He was just chatting. He discovered with had something in common (I was a social worker and he was studying for his MSW) and he had questions about the specific sort of work I did. It was definitely awkward and uncomfortable. It was in a tiny little church and Mass was going on at the same time. This parish has Mass every hour on the hour. My husband (then fiance) went in after me, and between us, we “hogged” the confessional for the entire Mass.

 

[TimothyH]

Sometime its not the pentient who takes a long time but the priest.

There are a few priest I know who go on and on and on int he confessional. Once they get on a roll they won’t shut up.

It’s not always the fault of the penitent.

 

[CJsmommy]

Funny I saw this after my confession last night. This confession time starts an hour before the last Sunday Mass. I got there right at the start and there was already a line waiting. When it started the priest was really popping them through. With a couple of the penitent I’ve never seen anyone in and out of the confessional that fast. When I got in there was no advice and I had to say the Act of Contrition after I left. There were still people going in the confessional near the end of Mass, two hours later. Maybe it depends on the situation?

 

[Nelka]

Maybe it could be like the supermarket where somebody has lots of items on the belt and I turn up with a pint of milk and they let me go through first.



It does feel safe in there though.

 

[KCT]

Sometimes it’s the priest and sometimes the penitent.

We used to have a priest who took a long time with each person. So long, that in the 45 min before Mass, he’d hear maybe 6 confessions. But he was good about coming back after Mass.

Once, I was next in line when he had to vest for Mass. He leaned over and whispered, “If I don’t hear your confession, will you be able to receive Communion?” I assured him I could and he heard my confession after Mass.

There have been times when it seems like people are taking a long time, but I try not to get miffed. They must really need to be there, so I try to pray for them.

 

[DeniseNY]

Sometimes I worry I’m taking too long. I get very nervous and just start to babble. And I was away from the Church for about 20 something years. I sometimes have a lot to talk about!