Why Don't I Feel Different?

[guiltyofdoubt]

As my religion states, I officially became Catholic this year on Easter Vigil.

I read where people say they have felt different, either upon 1st Communion, or 1st Reconciliation, or maybe in Adoration, etc.

I feel no different at all, and still have my doubts intact. I am still attached to sin. I don’t feel Grace working in me. I feel like I am simply not one of the Chosen ones, and that I forced the issue to become Catholic hoping that something would change to make me feel better, but in fact i feel worse, and more guilty, and more hopeless, like I am destined for Hell.

I am tortured by this, to be honest.

 

[ericc]

No different from a lot of other Catholics. The journey starts with a small step. The question is did you become Catholic to “get” something? Many have traveled this road and have never struck by anything mystical that can be sensed by the senses.

Perhaps you were hoping to get a heightened sense of God. Holy Communion will feed your soul, whether your physical senses are working or not. You mentioned hopelessness and more guilt but did not elaborate. Confession will ease your guilt. Spent time in the adoration room and open your heart to God. If necessary, fasting/penance and good works will keep you focused rather than hopelessness. If you became Catholic with the expectation of being rewarded, yes you will get your reward, but may be not in the way you hoped.

(Errrr, reminds me of my qigong exercises once upon a time and I told my sifu I can not sense any “chi” flowing. He said if you have no “chi” you are already dead. Some people are hypersensitive and others don’t but does not indicate that the one more sensitive is at a higher level. Even if you can’t sense God, doesn’t mean he is not around. he is IN you , whether you feel it or not. So behave. )

 

[fhansen]

As my religion states, I officially became Catholic this year on Easter Vigil.

I read where people say they have felt different, either upon 1st Communion, or 1st Reconciliation, or maybe in Adoration, etc.

I feel no different at all, and still have my doubts intact. I am still attached to sin. I don’t feel Grace working in me. I feel like I am simply not one of the Chosen ones, and that I forced the issue to become Catholic hoping that something would change to make me feel better, but in fact i feel worse, and more guilty, and more hopeless, like I am destined for Hell.

I am tortured by this, to be honest.

Sometimes God elects to bless us in one way or another-with growth in understanding/insights, spiritual consolations in one form or another, etc. Sometimes He tests our faith by allowing us to experience arid times. Mother Teresa received a powerful calling early in life but nonetheless suffered doubts often for forty years, laboring for Him while apparently suffering from the thirst that comes from wanting to feel close to Him while not doing so, while receiving no more “touches” that she was aware of. But by her actions she picked up her cross daily and kept putting one foot ahead of the other, as we’re all called to do-keeping and living by the gift of faith she was given and letting Him take care of the rest.

 

[empther]

Mother Teresa received a powerful calling early in life but nonetheless suffered doubts often for forty years, laboring for Him while apparently suffering from the thirst that comes from wanting to feel close to Him while not doing so, while receiving no more “touches” that she was aware of.

Expect no “touches”. Expect nothing to be done to you or for you. That’s not what it’s all about.

Have no doubts about your everlasting future and getting through this life is easier.

“As a believer, I was sure I was immortal and that gave me courage.” – a certain eighteen year old girl moments before ‘certain death’ ( )

 

[Linusthe2nd]

As my religion states, I officially became Catholic this year on Easter Vigil.

I read where people say they have felt different, either upon 1st Communion, or 1st Reconciliation, or maybe in Adoration, etc.

I feel no different at all, and still have my doubts intact. I am still attached to sin. I don’t feel Grace working in me. I feel like I am simply not one of the Chosen ones, and that I forced the issue to become Catholic hoping that something would change to make me feel better, but in fact i feel worse, and more guilty, and more hopeless, like I am destined for Hell.

I am tortured by this, to be honest.

Loving God, being Catholic is not about emotions or feeling good, it is about doning God’s will - obeying the Commandments, receiving the Sacraments, praying, doing good to others, especially our families. However, God knows we are human, he will make his presence known in your heart if you persevere. Perhaps you should spend some time each day reading the Scriptures ( esp. the New Testament ) and meditating on what you read in light of the Church’s eaching. And don’t negelect the Catechism.

Now be patient and be quiet with the Lord.

Linus2nd

 

[anixx]

he is IN you.

Sorry for picking to such a degree, but this bothered my catholic senses. He is IN you, only if you are in a state of sanctifying grace. As to the affirmation that he is always IN you, I have a Bible that states quite the opposite.

If you love me you will keep my commandments. I shall ask the Father, and he will give you another Paraclete to be with you for ever, the Spirit of truth whom the world can never accept since it neither sees nor knows him; but you know him, because he is with you, he is in you. I shall not leave you orphans; I shall come to you. In a short time the world will no longer see me; but you will see that I live and you also will live. On that day you will know that I am in my Father and you in me and I in you. Whoever holds to my commandments and keeps them is the one who loves me; and whoever loves me will be loved by my Father, and I shall love him and reveal myself to him.’ (Jn 14, 15-21)

If we say, ‘We have no sin,’ we are deceiving ourselves, and truth has no place in us. (1Jn 1,8)

Whoever says, ‘I know him’ without keeping his commandments, is a liar, and truth has no place in him. (1Jn 2,4)

Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you are well aware that no murderer has eternal life remaining in him. (1Jn 3,15)

It seems John, the apostle, is quite clear that God is not in everyone, as Jesus is, too.
It is a dangerous thing to make this assessment, based just on his commentary. The tree is known by it’s fruits.

As my religion states, I officially became Catholic this year on Easter Vigil.

I read where people say they have felt different, either upon 1st Communion, or 1st Reconciliation, or maybe in Adoration, etc.

I feel no different at all, and still have my doubts intact. I am still attached to sin. I don’t feel Grace working in me. I feel like I am simply not one of the Chosen ones, and that I forced the issue to become Catholic hoping that something would change to make me feel better, but in fact i feel worse, and more guilty, and more hopeless, like I am destined for Hell.

I am tortured by this, to be honest.

I think you have to thoroughly analyse your life, maybe there is something with what you have not been honest in front of God. If you truly find no unconfessed mortal sin, then you keep praying. Every saint has a dark night of the soul, in which we get no consolation from God, we feel not his presence, nor his grace, yet he is still there, with you, but hidden from your senses. This is the time in which saints are formed and transformed to the will of God. It requires fidelity and steadfastness. Keep praying and fulfill his will, by keeping the commandments and not giving into temptation. God bless!

 

[polytropos]

I feel no different at all, and still have my doubts intact. I am still attached to sin. I don’t feel Grace working in me. I feel like I am simply not one of the Chosen ones, and that I forced the issue to become Catholic hoping that something would change to make me feel better, but in fact i feel worse, and more guilty, and more hopeless, like I am destined for Hell.

One of the most important things that someone told me as I was returning to the Catholic Church was that faith is not a feeling. Nor will faith necessarily keep you from doubts or temptations.

Feelings may accompany faith, to be sure. Doubt may be assuaged, and you may feel less tempted. But none of that is essential to the action of grace. Faith is an act of the will. It is “what you do” in spite of lukewarmness.

Read The Imitation of Christ. If you have Amazon Prime, you can get a copy for $2.50. I would also recommend taking up the Rosary daily.

 

[Charlemagne_III]

As my religion states, I officially became Catholic this year on Easter Vigil.

I read where people say they have felt different, either upon 1st Communion, or 1st Reconciliation, or maybe in Adoration, etc.

I feel no different at all, and still have my doubts intact. I am still attached to sin. I don’t feel Grace working in me. I feel like I am simply not one of the Chosen ones, and that I forced the issue to become Catholic hoping that something would change to make me feel better, but in fact i feel worse, and more guilty, and more hopeless, like I am destined for Hell.

I am tortured by this, to be honest.

Expecting your life to change dramatically all at once was probably not a realistic expectation to begin with.

God’s grace tends to work slowly, but it has already worked a wonder in you … your conversion.

The blossoming of that grace is what you are now asked to witness.

That blossoming will come when you find your charisms. Faith without works is dead.

When you are drawn into one or more ministries, you will very likely feel a quickening in your soul. Your charisms (spiritual gifts from the Holy Spirit) will become more evident.

My wife and I, upon our conversion, within 2-3 years got deeply involved in the prison ministry, something I never anticipated upon my return to the Church. So the works needed to complement our faith, and thus reassure us that our faith was real and not just delusional, helped to remove from us the kind of spiritual doubts we at first experienced and you now seem to be experiencing.

“Be still (patient), and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10

May your charisms multiply!