Why Get Married in the Church?

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dhgray

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I POSTED THIS ON ASK AN APOLOGIST first, I am posting here for US common folk to chime in too…
I was asked by a protestant and did not have a good answer except that’s that’s what Catholics do. SO here it is,
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"If God is everywhere, then why does a couple have to get married in the Church? What’s wrong with the JP? And this person wanted biblical references.
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Thank you in advance for you answer.
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For the first millenium and a half of Church history, a couple could (validly if illicitly) marry in secret, with only the couple themselves present at the ceremony. Here is the reason that the Council of Trent gave when they decreeed such marriages invalid:
Although it is not to be doubted, that clandestine marriages, made with the free consent of the contracting parties, are valid and true marriages, so long as the Church has not rendered them invalid; and consequently, that those persons are justly to be condemned, as the holy Synod doth condemn them with anathema, who deny that such marriages are true and valid; as also those who falsely affirm that marriages contracted by the children of a family, without the consent of their parents, are invalid, and that parents can make such marriages either valid or invalid; nevertheless, the holy Church of God has, for reasons most just, at all times detested and prohibited such marriages. But whereas the holy Synod perceives that those prohibitions, by reason of man’s disobedience, are no longer of avail; and whereas it takes into account the grievous sins which arise from the said clandestine marriages, and especially the sins of those parties who live on in a state of damnation, when, having left their former wife, with whom they had contracted marriage secretly, they publicly marry another, and with her live in perpetual adultery; an evil which the Church, which judges not of what is hidden, cannot rectify, unless some more efficacious remedy be applied; wherefore, treading in the steps of the sacred Council of Lateran celebrated under Innocent III., it ordains that, for the future, before a marriage is contracted, the proper parish priest of the contracting parties shall three times announce publicly in the Church, during the solemnization of mass, on three continuous festival days, between whom marriage is to be celebrated; after which publication of banns, if there be no lawful impediment opposed, the marriage shall be proceeded with in the face of the church; where the parish priest, after having interrogated the man and the woman, and heard their mutual consent, shall either say, “I join you together in matrimony, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost;” or, he shall use other words, according to the received rite of each province.
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Those who shall attempt to contract marriage otherwise than in the presence of the parish priest, or of some other priest by permission of the said parish priest, or of the Ordinary, and in the presence of two or three witnesses; the holy Synod renders such wholly incapable of thus contracting and declares such contracts invalid and null, as by the present decree It invalidates and annuls them.
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This is when the “canonical form of marriage” became an invalidating ecclesiastical requirement of the Church.
 
why get married at all…?

why go to church…?

why follow the 10 commandments…?

i don’t know,… because maybe, just maybe there is a right and wrong way to do things…

i don’t see this as being anymore complicated than that, there are ways to act, be, and interact with others… there are manners, and until we are educated enough (usually by someone else) we fumble along until the correct and true way of doing things are revealed…

you will continue to burn your finger in the fire until you learn that it hurts…

do you see where i’m going here… maybe not huh? oh well, i guess you just have to find your way… 👍
 
SG,

I understand. HOWEVER; this person is very much in to the Evangelical church. Therefore, her next question is:
“Where is that in the bible?”
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Where is “Trinity” in the Bible, or “Incarnation” for that matter?

The burden of proof is on her. Where does it say in the Bible that the faithful shouldn’t be married in a church? Where were Old Testament Jews married?

As Catholics, we of course believe in God’s “fatherly omnipotence” (CCC 270), yet we also believe in the Real Presence, and marriage in a Catholic Church is a holy ceremony consecrated in front of, and in reception of Our Lord. Our position is the more rational one, hers is specious.
 
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dhgray:
I POSTED THIS ON ASK AN APOLOGIST first, I am posting here for US common folk to chime in too…
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Catholics must marry in the Church because they are called to obey the authority put over them by God… see the many Scripture references related to authority… He who hears you, hears me… what you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven… etc.

Non-Catholics are not bound by Canon Law. They can marry wherever they choose.
 
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1ke:
Non-Catholics are not bound by Canon Law. They can marry wherever they choose.
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Very well stated. More times than not we “agree to disagree.”
 
Someone on an earlier thread (I wish I could remember who and what thread to give credit to for this.) said that the question of marriage was one of the first questions that got him thinking about tradition vs bible alone. He asked his pastor this same question and didn’t get a good response which made him realize that his bible only beliefs really had exceptions and traditions. I apologize to this poster if I botched his story in any way.

Kris
 
Actually, after repondering my response, I think I heard these comments from Jason Shank, a guest on the Journey Home program.
 
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dhgray:
SG,

I understand. HOWEVER; this person is very much in to the Evangelical church. Therefore, her next question is:
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then i would have to ask that person why he/she believes in the trinity (church of england believes in trinity) because it’s not in the bible… the bible being the sole source is not biblical,… why does he/she give creedence or accept truth written and compiled by the very chruch he/she doubts…

i’m sorry, i am not making light of the situation or question, it’s just that some things or should i say truths seem pretty basic, and the objections don’t seem insurmountable…

i wish you luck and peace… i guess i just don’t have an easy answer… sorry… :o
 
space ghost:
i wish you luck and peace… i guess i just don’t have an easy answer… sorry… :o
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SG, Don’t be sorry, I understand what you are saying. I know whre you are coming from and so do enjoy hearing your thoughts.

GOD BLESS,
 
In the church marriage is a convenant between husband and wife else it is just a contract.
 
Apart from listening to the Church authority, I am very traditional, and although not Catholic yet, marriage is such a beautiful thing, and I would want to encorporate my whole faith into such an important act.
 
Here’s a question within the question… (its going to get confusing but hopefully all y’all will get the question)

What happens if a Catholic marries a Non-Catholic in a “Protestant” type wedding. The Non-Catholic is just fine with the Priest blessing the marriage, and will even go to Mass and in time come into the church. Is that an acceptable way of getting your marriage recognized so that the Catholic spouse can recieve Holy Communion?
 
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Ardie:
Here’s a question within the question… (its going to get confusing but hopefully all y’all will get the question)

What happens if a Catholic marries a Non-Catholic in a “Protestant” type wedding. The Non-Catholic is just fine with the Priest blessing the marriage, and will even go to Mass and in time come into the church. Is that an acceptable way of getting your marriage recognized so that the Catholic spouse can recieve Holy Communion?
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Here’s a question to answer your question within a question. A married Catholic doesn’t want to have any more children, but is aware of the Church’s teaching on birth control. So the Catholic goes out and gets sterilized, and then goes to confession for the sin of having a sterilization. Is this an acceptable way of achieving the goal of not having any more children?

The answers to both questions are the same - Technically, it will work, but you’re not supposed to do it.
 
Thanks for the answer… or was that question of a question of a question? lol!😉
 
Marriage is a sacrament, one of seven. You need a priest for that.
 
The difference between marriage in the Church vs. the Justice of the Peace or non-sacramental marrying church is the difference between a covenant and a contract.

In a covenant, you are entering into a permanent bond of kinship with the spouse and God. In a contract, you are merely making a property agreement without God. Put that way, it makes the latter seem absurd folly bound for disaster from the outset.

Scott
 
Another angle of this is to say that marriage is a communal thing - it’s not just about you and me, it’s about you and me and God, the witness and service we provide to the community, and the support and prayers we get from the community. The marriage covenant is to be visible to the world - it’s not a private thing, to be hidden away. Because of this strong communal aspect, it is most fitting to do it gathered before the faith community, in the community’s place of worship, with the official witness of the Church. I think doing the wedding in another location, i.e. the backyard, or the beach, or the gazebo in the park, makes it a much more private thing, which it really isn’t meant to be.

As a practical matter, the exact same guests may be in attendance at a wedding in a church, versus another location. But the priest in the role of presider at the church serves as sort of a visible witness or representative of the entire people of God, which probably wouldn’t even be served by having the same priest in attendance at a ceremony administered by a justice of the peace.

I don’t think there are explicit Biblical references for exactly this. But nor are there references saying that you should use a justice of the peace, a gazebo, or Elvis. It’s our Tradition.
 
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