Why is it such a bad thing if a priest falls in love?

[Helenbelle]

I am just a naive Catholic girl trying to find out more about her faith, so if any Catholics can answer…

If a Catholic Priest has fallen in love with someone, and they leave the priesthood to be with that person, why is it as bad a thing as my Mum is making out?

During their priesthood they have done nothing wrong, not even kissed this woman.
She is divorced, and looking for an annulment,

They plan on doing nothing until he has given up the priesthood next year, and then they will marry legally, and then marry Catholicly once the woman has a annulment.
She has 4 kids, one of whom is disabled.

I mean surely you can’t help falling in love, and isn’t falling in love a nice thing anyway?

Why is it such a bad thing?

P.S. the priest is my uncle, and everyone seems to dislike him now, and I’m worried about the situation, that’s why I ask.

 

[Fr.Vincent_Serpa]

Hi,

The matter of what is commonly called ‘falling in love’ is an emotional experience in which one feels united with another person. Everything that separates one from others seems to fall away and one’s only desire is to be united with the other. It seems that the Lord created such a dynamic as an encouragement to seek a spouse. But as all consuming as such an experience seems, it is quite possible to not act on it. In fact, in many instances one is obliged to not act on it. Further, just as one “falls in love,” one invariably will fall out of love. Hopefully, by the time this happens in marriage, the couple has deepened their love so that it is much more than just a crush.

There are many instances when one will ‘fall in love” with some one who is already married. This can happen between doctors and patients, co-workers, etc. In these instances the individuals recognize the unreality of their feelings and choose to not act on them. This may hurt for awhile, but eventually it is past.

Your uncle committed himself to the Lord and now is choosing to put emotional gratification ahead of his commitment. It is possible that perhaps he was immature when he made the commitment. But to marry civilly is totally out of the question. To do so is to commit a mortal sin and to continue to do so every time he has marital relations until he has been dispensed with his commitment to celibacy and is married in the Church. The fact that he refuses to wait does not speak well of his current state of maturity. Your mother is quite correct in being upset.

We need to pray for your uncle that he comes to his senses. Nothing—absolutely nothing is worth offending the blood shed by our blessed Lord by committing a mortal sin!

Fr. Vincent Serpa, O.P.