Why other catholics hates only children?

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valencia

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A day ago I was reading an artical where someone said that we’re not “only children of God” (not only catholics are loved) and everything would be fine, but I found here something like “only children are only Focus on myself” or they choose who can be loved, so we’re not an onlies.
I remember catholician “psychologist” who said that only children and their parents are egoist.
Why cant you understand that we are same like you?
Can’t catholics understand that quality of life is important or some parents cant have another?
Jesus was an only children, John was… Mary was!!!
People are so rude of us!
I dont need any siblings, I need a bit of calm in my life.
 
Are you getting hate in real life?

Or “some article” on the internet says so?
 
How can you say that Catholics hate only children? You don’t know every Catholic. Try not painting with such a wide brush, you may get the calm you seek 🙂
 
I’ve literally never heard any Catholic, or really any person, say they “hate” singletons or that people who were raised as an only child are selfish. First of all, children have no say, and therefore no moral culpability, in their parents’ decision to have more children or not. It seems pretty ridiculous to suggest otherwise. I think what some Catholics say is that family, and siblings are a gift that is far greater than having more stuff, or a fancier home, or ice skating lessons, or a better car than the Jones’, or all of the parental attention. That is not to say that there aren’t legitimate situations where adding children is not a good idea, at least at the time. I suppose some people may use the word “selfish” to criticize people who value things like wealth and constant attention more than relationships and love, especially when we are talking about a standard of living that far exceeds the level of “comfortable” either way. I would probably go with “sad”, “short-sighted”, or just plain “foolish”.
 
Sometimes I had listen from colleagues and from PRIESTS! I was 9 and i told to the priest that at least I am happy of being only (i was a children 🙂 ) and he said that when parents die i’ll be so loonly

And my old fake friend said too :).
I feel that everybody think that 1=mistake :confused:
 
Okay it was too emotional. Not every. But…
I just look around. And only some atheists from my near area were not judge people by number of kids… Not every too.
 
Okay. I think sometimes more parental attention is good.

And I know wjat you mean too. Comfortable life, money is not the same as love and people. I think too that is important… But it sounds a bit jealous to me if somebody says that someone chose money to love even their standard in life is just a bit better.
Not im every situations because sometimes somebody have “very comfortable” state of life and still is on the same point. But its different situation to me.
 
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There’s actually many situations where too much parental attention becomes inappropriate and is actually harmful. A healthy parent-child relationship does not require constant, undivided attention and it’s actually not emotionally healthy when a child can’t tolerate their parent interacting with another child or adult or when a parent can’t tolerate their child becoming close to anyone but them. Healthy sibling relationships are just as beneficial as parent-child relationships and frankly, more likely to be long term. Sibling relationships also typically lead to future inlaw relationships, niece and nephew relationships, and aunt, uncle, and cousin relationships for the next generation. I don’t think when people say it’s silly to trade relationships for things, it’s out of jealousy. In my experience, such choices really only make a tremendous difference in standard of living when the family was already is a seriously risky financial situation in the first place.
 
Is that what the priest actually said or did you perhaps misheard him? Not that I am saying priests don’t suffering from foot-in-mouth, but that is a very inappropriate thing to say to someone that young. Also, how did this conversation even come up? None of the priests I interacted with growing up knew how many siblings I had because there was never a situation when that would have been relevant.
 
Yes too much attention is bad.
But f.e my fathers attention to me was Perfect. Not too much not too big. I love him.
Siblings is good i didnt said thats not. Siblings learn, gives love. But its not impossible to build similar relationship with somebody stranger.
I dont need siblings I need a soulmate. Just.
But I think like you in some situations- that is good to have big family. But having little doesnt mean sadness or no love.
 
Not in every situation ofc. In my family is different situation, but I know some family with onlies where they were happy ;).
And sometimes- buying new thing is sign of love, f.e- kid needs laptop to learning, so parents buy it.

But I really know what you mean @allegra
Love and people>things 😉
 
Bien venida a CAF 😃

No, it was tactless of the priest to say that to you, but we all make mistakes 😳 overall, I think most Catholics understand that and don’t think about it!
 
valencia said:
Mary was!!!
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Actually, that is incorrect, according to John’s account of the crucifixion (John 19:25), which places Mary’s sister among the women standing near the cross.

However, getting back on topic, part of the reason may be either a reaction against cutting remarks people with many children hear about their family size being too big, or it could be a prejudice/pride/feeling of superiority against small families that remains with certain Catholics. I remember visiting one house where they had about 10 kids at the time and when the mother found out I had no siblings, rushed to the bedroom to show me an article about the joys of large families. The husband would also clarify whenever he spoke of a family by mentioning the number of kids they had.

Although I haven’t heard an ignorant remark in a while, but if I do hear one again I will just snap back with “What am I supposed to do about it, find a TARDIS, go back in time, put a gun to my dad’s head and order him to get with mom to make another one?”
 
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I really don’t know why they’d involve you. Obviously, their real criticism was of your parents, for practicing birth control. That’s not a child’s business! They probably are trying to get thru to them…thru you.

Just see them as very nosy people. Possibly jealous. The best thing is to listen to them politely (I’m assuming you’re quite Young yourself) then don’t say a word to your parents. And stop accepting invitations to their homes. If your parents try to insist on you’re going, then tell them! My guess is that your troubles will be over!
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Edit/update
I see from your other posts that you are 19 years old. Young, but not a child. Just understand that these people are not looking out for you. It’s possible that your mom may not be able to have more children. Even if she can, it’s quite likely you’ll be out of the house before your sibling is born. Do these people know your parents?

No mortal human can predict the future! Your life will be what you and God make it. You really shouldn’t make such mean, judgmental people form the core of your circle of friends.

Don’t worry about others think…you have a life…now make something of it.
And, of course, God Bless!
 
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valencia said:
A day ago I was reading an artical where someone said that we’re not “only children of God” (not only catholics are loved) and everything would be fine, but I found here something like “only children are only Focus on myself” or they choose who can be loved, so we’re not an onlies.
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First of all the Church teaches that people shouldn’t hate or be prejudiced against anyone. Also, the Church doesn’t teach that there is some problem with only children. So these “Catholics” who have a problem with only children aren’t following Church teaching.

Second, Catholics in general don’t have a problem with only children. I’m an only child, I’m a cradle Catholic. Several of my good friends growing up were also only children and cradle Catholics. None of us ever suffered any particular stigma or dislike for being only children. Some people thought we must be lonely (we weren’t) and others thought we must wish for brothers and sisters or babies around the house (we didn’t, it just wasn’t part of our experience). In general we were only children because our parents had gotten married at an older age, or one parent was ill, or the parents had had trouble conceiving or carrying a baby to term. It wasn’t all that unusual.

There are individual people in the world, Catholic and non-Catholic, who might decide they don’t like only children because they associate them with some kind of bad personality trait. Like, if you only knew one “only child” growing up and the person was a spoiled brat, you might think that’s true of all only children. People might also think that oldest children are bossy and youngest children are babyish if that’s been their experience. This is not a “Catholic” problem, it is a problem of the specific people involved. Pray for them and ignore it.
 
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Legend said:
Just see them as very nosy people. Possibly jealous.
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Yeah, I do have to say that I have seen a significant amount of jealousy from some (certainly not all, but some) Catholic families with large numbers of kids, towards the families that only have one or two kids. There seems to be an assumption that the Catholic family with the one or two kids is sinning or being selfish in some way because they don’t have a huge family. Often the family that is acting jealous is having some kind of economic problem or other stress that they figure the family with 1-2 kids is not having because they don’t have so many bills or responsibilities. Like I said, just pray for them and ignore it - and I would also avoid any family who acts like that, they are toxic and obviously have problems of their own to sort out before they can interact well with others.
 
For lack of a better word, I often feel “jealous” of families that get to have more kids. I wish my husband and I had met earlier in our lives. We’d love to have one more, but we are already overwhelmed with the childcare costs for the three we have and by the time our next is in school, I’m going to be 39. There’s a pretty good chance that what we have is what we’re getting and it makes me sad. Maybe in a few years, we might look at adopting? I think everyone, regardless of their situation, can feel envious of those those who have something else. I don’t think parents of large families are somehow more susceptible to letting this manifest itself in inappropriate words or behavior than others though.
 
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