Why we are so defensive

[mastda]

I started to post this in reply to one of the posts in the no denominational forum but I was getting way off topic. So I decided to start a new thread.

Of course we all need to be charitable and treat people with respect. I found that since joining this forum, I have become a little defensive and I noticed others are as well. In being defensive we often say things that may not be charitable and its because we expect to be attacked so we do it first. Its like a total reverse of the Golden Rule “Do unto others before they do unto you”. I see this in all threads in every topic from money topics to depression topics and especially when it comes to non-catholic religions. I think the reason is that for us Catholics we are really hurt these days. You cannot put down blacks, hispanics, jews, arabs, hindus, muslims and all other visible minorities and other religions without some sort of punishment and this is a very good thing. However, Catholics are open game, TV Shows, websites, cartoons, movies, magazines etc,. they can all make fun of us at with no regret. I even hear the ant-catholicism on local talk radio and we let them get away with it. All this and we still have to be put down by christian anti - catholics as well.

So the bottom line is that we (Catholics on this fourm) are always anticipating an attack so we may even attack first.

 

[chicago]

mastda:

So the bottom line is that we (Catholics on this fourm) are always anticipating an attack so we may even attack first.

I think that it is plausible that people can get into a mindset of offering a “defense” for the faith (or their particular position and take on the faith) that sometimes just about everything which is not EXACTLY equal to their outlook is something which they see as either an enemy attack or at least calling for a hammer to nail down flush the stray nail. (Or maybe whacking the pesky mole which keeps popping up). Plus, we live in a cultural and media environment where everything seems to be divided along strict either-or lines where “you’re either with me or against me”. And, so, the crusade for conversion begins. I think that this can lead to a degree of seperationism whereby we fail to recognize the human dance of interaction with others who may need to be more gently led along; who are not merely a “problem to be fixed”; who may actually have something worthwhile to add to the mix if only we would actually listen to what they are saying and where they are coming from.

 

[Eileen_T]

Yeah, I have noticed some posters who seem to jump in quick to attack someone elses posts and even their motives. Attack is the best form of defense when you are a little shaky, afterall.

I try to give people the benefit of the doubt, instead of thinking they are out to get me, but when I come across a Thread that has uncharitable posts I don’t even bother with them.

 

[UtahMaggie]

mastda:

You cannot put down blacks, hispanics, jews, arabs, hindus, muslims and all other visible minorities and other religions without some sort of punishment and this is a very good thing. However, Catholics are open game, TV Shows, websites, cartoons, movies, magazines etc,. they can all make fun of us at with no regret. I even hear the ant-catholicism on local talk radio and we let them get away with it. All this and we still have to be put down by christian anti - catholics as well.

You are so right. I never realized it but it’s true. I guess I didn’t realize it because I live in Utah and it’s open season on any non-Mormon religion.

 

[Ortho]

In various places around the world I have observed that whatever religion is predominant does whatever it can get away with to hurt other religions.

We can thank secularism for curbing the tendency of religions to go after each other’s throats. They can no longer get away with it.

 

[koda]

First let me say that there are a lot of truly nice people here who act nice and, I’ve discovered, some truly nice people that may not come off that way so you have to dig a little to realize they are nice. Then there are the folks that just aren’t nice - and there are plenty of them. I’ve read posts that were so antagonistic and nasty that I’ve had to sit back from my computer screen - it’s almost like a physical blow. An awful lot of folks seem to be privy to God’s thoughts. They know who and who is not going to hell and are more than eager to pass judgement on anyone who even questions strict orthodoxy. I’m constantly reminded of the Pharisees who were experts on the letter of the law but knew nothing about the spirit. And lest you think I haven’t tried to get along - I have tried - to the point of lying awake at night worrying about (and praying about) it. No wonder the world is in such sorry shape.

 

[JMJ_Theresa]

Once, when I was depressed about the state of the world, one of my good friends told me, “Rejoice! The war is won. Jesus did that on the cross. We are just fighting the battle!”

I try to remember that.

However, seeing that we are on a Catholic forum, I think posters address issues more than people. In person, I’m sure everyone is very charitable, encouraging, and kind. I think most posters try to present an ideal response, knowing that the person reading it will have to adapt it to their life.

Also, I’ve noticed that sometimes people start really antagonistic threads and then when someone responds to the the tone, the op says, “And, you call yourself a Christian!” We have to be careful not to respond emotionally to such prompts.

That said, I’d like to take back about half of my posts. I think I post like I talk in conversation–too quick to respond without thinking.

 

[Tonks40]

Even though getting a nice, high post-count would be great, I find that whenever I see someone who challenges our Faith expresses an opinion here, I do my darnests to restrain myself - mainly because I don’t want to offend. Then I wait to see how others respond, so that hopefully, they do get a sufficient response to the poster’s challenge.

Then again, maybe I’m just kinda shy that way!

 

[the_phoenix]

What I notice is that if there’s a debate and I post something that’s either positive and non-combative, or simply a logical response … my post tends to get ignored and the … usually … two most emotionally involved people in the thread who disagree with each other keep on keepin’ at each other. It seems there are a lot of people who seem to enjoy arguing? Or maybe it’s the need for one of the two to have the last word, or save face, or feel like they’ve won, or something.

Who knows? Human behavior tends to perplex me!

~~ the phoenix