Why would God let this happen? Is He testing me?

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Paris_Blues

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At work, I think I’m being stalked in a way by some old dude who likes young, attractive women! Just for your info, it’s just a boring retail job (will get a better job once get my degree in college!) in the mall until college starts again.

Okay, this old guy (and forgive me for saying this but he looks like a suspect you would see on the evening news, not trying to be mean or anything but just so you have an idea) works in men’s shoes, me in children’s shoes. However, sometimes our manager wants me to work down in women shoes (which can be a zoo!) and I go. One day I was working down there and this dude was there (he’s probably in his mid 50’s) and he kept looking at me up and down and was just irritating the heck outa me and one time when I was helping out a customer at the register, I caught him staring up and down some teenagers in the distances :tsktsk: who unfortunetely were wearing short skirts and I suddenly realized that doing that is sinful, right? So I started praying for this guy that he would stop looking and start getting to work. I’m sure our Lord heard me.

Now I was going up to take my break in the lounge when the dude came by again and was following me into the lounge and asked if he could sit and talk with me. I didn’t want to be mean or anything so I kinda hesitated and said, “uh, yeah…” and grabbed the newspaper and he started talking to me about himself how he was a stock broker and how he made all these bucks and I was sitting there thinking, wow, now Lord, help me! Everytime a woman came in, I saw him looking at her and I prayed again! I had to put the newspaper up to my face pretending to read it because this guy was freaking me out and was hoping that 15 min. would pass by very quickly! I know that’s rude but you guys don’t understand about this dude!:eek: I told him that I had to leave and was expecting him to follow me but he didn’t. Whew!

Now the other day I was walking accross the parking lot going into work early in the morning when I spotted him walking just outside of Walgreens (which is in the mall too, how crazy!) as if he parked there and associates aren’t allowed to park there! But I’m not going to judge him by that but anyway, just saw him looking in my direction and I’m thinking, uh, not again! Why Lord? There are some trees that kinda block the door entrance where associates only enter so saw him disappear behind the trees and thought, okay, he’s going in and will leave me alone. Now as I was approaching, I was waving to another associate I knew and when I turned, the DUDE HAD STOPPED, WAITING FOR ME! He was there just to talk and bother me! I thought, ‘oh “s” (you know)’ and I know a Christian shouldn’t say those words even in the mind but I couldn’t help it! I started walking faster and he was starting to follow me and said hi how are you, nice day, huh? and I was wearing heels so couldn’t walk that fast darn it!😉 I was trying to get away from him. :eek: As I was walking, one could see I had the look of panic on my face and I was thinking, “Lord, why are you doing this or letting this happen?” I also heard that he followed another young woman - who works in shoes too - in the mall and she had to escape into Victoria Secret to hide from him! I don’t blame her.

I’m not going to say anything quite yet to my manager about it because I really don’t want to get into it…been there, done it before! But if it gets worse, I will say something. What am I to do than, just depend on God?

**I guess my question is, is God trying to test me by me to pray for this dude (Love your enemies) who stares at young women and testing me by turning to Him when something insecure happens? I mean, I hear that NOTHING can happen in our lives without God’s permission and that everything is for our good. But I’m thinking, how is THIS for my good when this is so disscusting? :tsktsk: **

I’m guessing our Lord is testing me because the other day too I prayed that “Lord, please have this guy stay away from me!” and then what do ya know, as I was coming back from printing something and was going up the escalator, here comes the old dude again and before I even knew what I was doing, I’m literally running up the stairs of the escalator!
 
Ask him nicely to leave you alone. You should be a little more modest too. “LOOK AT ME I’M SO YOUNG AND PRETTY!! I"M SO INNOCENT LOOK AT THAT WRETCHED SINNER!” If he keeps bothering you notify the manager and if he still persists tell the police.
 
All right, who moved this thread into Moral Theology? I had this in Spirit and now someone moved it! :tsktsk:
 
You should speak with the manager, and the Human Resources person with your store. Just because we are Christians, does not mean that we should not speak up.
 
I will speak to someone about it if it gets worse…but for now, could anyone just please answer the question?
 
No He’s not (How am I really supposed to answer this? I’m not God). This guy is apparently creeping out all the women so why do you single yourself out as being tested?
 
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Shinobu:
No He’s not (How am I really supposed to answer this? I’m not God). This guy is apparently creeping out all the women so why do you single yourself out as being tested?
Click to expand...
Geez! Just wondering! Might as well not post anymore, eh?
 
Well, you should speak to your manager at once! Don’t wait for it to get worse, speak up now, so you have something on record.You don’t have to accuse him or anything, just let your manager know you’re feeling uncomfortable about this. Ask other women you work with if they have had similar experiences with this guy, if there’s a pattern, you’ll be able to bring this up to your manager. It may just be a case of co-incidence and it’s not unusual for men to look at young attractive women. Maybe he’s being friendly to you because he’s lonely or you look like his long lost daughter or something.
Consider also you may be reading into something that just isn’t there, because you think he looks “suspicious” so anything he does seems creepy, you know? But first off, talk to your manager. And of course to continue to pray for him, perhaps he needs prayers.
 
Paris Blues:
Geez! Just wondering! Might as well not post anymore, eh?
Click to expand...
He might not be testing you, but maybe He is letting this happen to you because you are strong enough to tell the guy to stop or tell your manager about this behavior. It could be that God is allowing you to help him stop being a preditor or helping someone else he could hurt if not stopped.

What would God be testing you for in this scenario?
 
Of course He’s testing you, or teaching you. You gotta figure out how to pass.

If He’s telling you to change your style of dress to something more modest, do so.

Or, he could be teaching you to be a little more protective of yourself. If you catch him again eyeing you up, stop what you’re doing, square up with him, put your hands on your hips, look him in the eye, and tell him, “Shame on you!” In a loud voice that will attract attention.

The good that will come from this is manyfold. He will leave you alone - that’s almost certain. He will maybe leave other girls alone. Other girls may begin to follow your lead. Men in general will now have a higher bar to reach. Men will mature more. More mature men will make better husbands. You’ll get one of those better husbands.
 
Paris Blues,

I appreciate your disgust at the situation and your impatience at not having your questions answered here, but we (I am sure for myself, and I’m fairly sure for everybody else here) simply don’t have the answers to your questions. I have absolutely no idea why God would let this happen, any more than I understood why He let my lung collapse when I was nineteen. I’m sorry I can’t be more helpful than this.
  • Liberian
 
Paris Blues:
At work, I think I’m being stalked in a way by some old dude who likes young, attractive women! Just for your info, it’s just a boring retail job (will get a better job once get my degree in college!) in the mall until college starts again.

Okay, this old guy (and forgive me for saying this but he looks like a suspect you would see on the evening news, not trying to be mean or anything but just so you have an idea) works in men’s shoes, me in children’s shoes. However, sometimes our manager wants me to work down in women shoes (which can be a zoo!) and I go. One day I was working down there and this dude was there (he’s probably in his mid 50’s) and he kept looking at me up and down and was just irritating the heck outa me and one time when I was helping out a customer at the register, I caught him staring up and down some teenagers in the distances :tsktsk: who unfortunetely were wearing short skirts and I suddenly realized that doing that is sinful, right? So I started praying for this guy that he would stop looking and start getting to work. I’m sure our Lord heard me.

Now I was going up to take my break in the lounge when the dude came by again and was following me into the lounge and asked if he could sit and talk with me. I didn’t want to be mean or anything so I kinda hesitated and said, “uh, yeah…” and grabbed the newspaper and he started talking to me about himself how he was a stock broker and how he made all these bucks and I was sitting there thinking, wow, now Lord, help me! Everytime a woman came in, I saw him looking at her and I prayed again! I had to put the newspaper up to my face pretending to read it because this guy was freaking me out and was hoping that 15 min. would pass by very quickly! I know that’s rude but you guys don’t understand about this dude!:eek: I told him that I had to leave and was expecting him to follow me but he didn’t. Whew!

Now the other day I was walking accross the parking lot going into work early in the morning when I spotted him walking just outside of Walgreens (which is in the mall too, how crazy!) as if he parked there and associates aren’t allowed to park there! But I’m not going to judge him by that but anyway, just saw him looking in my direction and I’m thinking, uh, not again! Why Lord? There are some trees that kinda block the door entrance where associates only enter so saw him disappear behind the trees and thought, okay, he’s going in and will leave me alone. Now as I was approaching, I was waving to another associate I knew and when I turned, the DUDE HAD STOPPED, WAITING FOR ME! He was there just to talk and bother me! I thought, ‘oh “s” (you know)’ and I know a Christian shouldn’t say those words even in the mind but I couldn’t help it! I started walking faster and he was starting to follow me and said hi how are you, nice day, huh? and I was wearing heels so couldn’t walk that fast darn it!😉 I was trying to get away from him. :eek: As I was walking, one could see I had the look of panic on my face and I was thinking, “Lord, why are you doing this or letting this happen?” I also heard that he followed another young woman - who works in shoes too - in the mall and she had to escape into Victoria Secret to hide from him! I don’t blame her.

I’m not going to say anything quite yet to my manager about it because I really don’t want to get into it…been there, done it before! But if it gets worse, I will say something. What am I to do than, just depend on God?

I guess my question is, is God trying to test me by me to pray for this dude (Love your enemies) who stares at young women and testing me by turning to Him when something insecure happens? I mean, I hear that NOTHING can happen in our lives without God’s permission and that everything is for our good. But I’m thinking, how is THIS for my good when this is so disscusting? :tsktsk:

I’m guessing our Lord is testing me because the other day too I prayed that “Lord, please have this guy stay away from me!” and then what do ya know, as I was coming back from printing something and was going up the escalator, here comes the old dude again and before I even knew what I was doing, I’m literally running up the stairs of the escalator!
Click to expand...
Not to scare you but someone very close to me was stalked just like you mention and then this guy kidnapped and raped her. This situation may be beyond prayer, I would report this guy to the police. And you know the old saying…God helps those who help themselves.
 
Hi Paris Blues,

I don’t think God is testing you. It just doesn’t seem like he would test you in that way. (But, no guarantees, 'cause I don’t know what God is thinking about your situation…but that’s my guess.) Can I give you a little advice though? Maybe you could ask your manager to not place you in womens shoes anymore. Tell him/her the situation and most likely they should agree. (Even if you have to move to a whole other department, it might be worth it) I would listen to your instincts on this guy, if he’s creeping you out, there could be something wrong. Hey, better safe than sorry. Also, ask some of the other girls there if they have been bothered by him in the past too, so you have a better idea of what’s going on here.
By all means you can pray for this man, but you need to be aware of your safety too. Just a few thoughts…good luck…

Celia
 
#1 REPORT HIM IMMEDIATELY. I MEAN RIGHT NOW.

** #2** Life itself is a TEST.
Trying to determine which things were specifically sent by God for our testing can drive us crazy. We must just simply try and do what is right ALL the time, as best as we can.

** #3 **REPORT HIM … NOW.
This IS NOT normal human behavior.
You need to protect yourself (as well as others too) by reporting him to Security and Management. If they do not assist you, then go to the Police.

In the mean time:
  • Be Aware Of Your Surroundings
  • Stay Alert
  • Take The Safest Routes Possible To And From Your Place Of Work
  • **Stay In The Company Of As Many People As Possible, Wherever You Are

    **
In light of the above, try to Remain Calm, while always using Good Common Sense.

I don’t like the sound of what you’re telling me about this man’s behavior one bit. Not one bit.
 
we’re praying for you, paris blues. take care!!! report this guy, and try to have as much company going to/from work.

as to your question, He may be, or He may not. don’t think too much on “is He testing me?” we must always try to follow His teachings, all the time.
 
I’ve had experiences like that… one guy who lived near me kept asking me to be his girlfriend (when I was underage, at that!) Guys like that WILL try to take advantage of you if you don’t set up a line and defend it. No, I don’t think this is a test. I think this needs to be treated with extreme seriousness.

The nice thing about being female is that no man will ever take you to court. You can threaten, bluff, whatever, and no man with any self-esteem will want to admit he’s in court because he’s scared of you. If you don’t want to report him, tell him that if he looks you up and down one more time you will hurt him. And you had better mean that. If he does, hit him. If he doesn’t, great, but still go for the police. Stalking is a CRIME and is punishable by law. This guy may also have a record.

And don’t talk with him. There is something a criminal does which is called an “interview”. This is when he scopes out a potential victim, notices the way she acts, how she reacts to situation, and whether or not she’s afraid to call him on bad behavior. It is especially common with rapes. And according to criminologists, there are 5 stages in the execution of a crime:
  1. Intent. This is when the criminal has bypassed the normal societal constraints and has decided to carry out a criminal act. Basically, he decides what he’s gonna do.
  2. Interview. This is when he selects a victim. He scopes her out, which is what the stockbroker is doing to you. He sizes her up in preparation to commit a crime.
  3. Positioning. This is the guy jumping into the back alley in preparation to jump out at you. It is strategic and well thought out before hand.
  4. Attack. The commission of the actual crime, folks.
  5. Reaction. This one is up to you. If you react wrong, in some way that pushes his twisted little buttons, you may precipitate a repeat attack. He may decide to maul you as well, or something like that.
Okay, so that’s the latest on criminal activity. If you can spot the crook in steps 1 or 2, you will probably be able to forestall it - but only if you DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT before he reaches 3!!! Get the police on him NOW!!

I’m telling you, Blues, what’s happening now is the interview. If you’re seeing him on the street, that’s part of the ongoing interview process - he has not buzzed off! Report this guy because this is not a test. This is real life, honey.
 
A word of caution: It may not be God testing you, it could be the Devil, don’t give him the chance.
Report this guy to the police ASP
Take care of yourself and also watch over your shoulder.
 
I’d guess he simply doesn’t understand how obvious he is being. Maybe a simple “what are you looking at” or, “please don’t look at me that way” would wake him up.

99.9% chance he is harmless and lonely.

BUT be careful of that 0.1%
 
Black Jaque:
Of course He’s testing you, or teaching you. You gotta figure out how to pass.

If He’s telling you to change your style of dress to something more modest, do so.

Or, he could be teaching you to be a little more protective of yourself. If you catch him again eyeing you up, stop what you’re doing, square up with him, put your hands on your hips, look him in the eye, and tell him, “Shame on you!” In a loud voice that will attract attention.

The good that will come from this is manyfold. He will leave you alone - that’s almost certain. He will maybe leave other girls alone. Other girls may begin to follow your lead. Men in general will now have a higher bar to reach. Men will mature more. More mature men will make better husbands. You’ll get one of those better husbands.
Click to expand...
I liked a combination of Black Jaque’s and The Angelus’s responses. I think that in “The Interview” stage, as I think Angelus has correctly identified what it going on, you need to respond in a manner that indicates you have boundaries, you are aware of your surroundings, you know when someone is inappropriate and will respond accordingly.

The next time this person does anything that creeps you out, pray to the Holy Spirit for the Courage and Wisdom to say the right words with firmness of Character and backed in Charity that make it quite clear that you are not willing to tolerate being treated like an object. But get to management immediately and let them know all that you have told us. It is significant that the entry to work is obscured from view. You need to be assured that they have fully monitored security cameras on that entry to the workplace and you may even want to ask for permission to park at a more public part of the mall with security escort back to your car after your shift if you work the closing shift.

Do you know about placing your keys between your fingers so they stick out, allowing you to rake an attacker with them if the need arises? I would suggest that you carry them like this going to and from work if you are walking alone. You may also want to look into a Women’s Self Defense class. I took one in college and they had some simple tips that, combined with my determination to NOT be a victim, would have made things a real bummer for an attacker (or at least I would hope so).

What you have described creeps me out. I believe in your radar and encourage you to take these feelings seriously. You may also want to look (if there is one) at your local, or state Sex Offenders Website to see if he’s a known, registered sex offender. He may be, in which case you’ll have more information to give when talking to management.

Any way you look at it, protecting yourself is a worthy thing to do, as your body is the Temple of the Holy Spirit and deserves your protection. You were created in the image and likeness of God and deserve respect.

God Bless and good luck in your endeavors,

CARose
 
CARose
The next time this person does anything that … God Bless and good luck in your endeavors
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Nice thoughts CARose, but …

Paris Blues could be raped or dead by the time she tried to implement all those suggestions.

SO I MUST REPEAT:

**#1 REPORT HIM IMMEDIATELY. I MEAN RIGHT NOW.

******#2 Life itself is a TEST.
We must just simply try and do what is right ALL the time, as best as we can.

**#3 **REPORT HIM … NOW.
This IS NOT normal human behavior.
You need to protect yourself (as well as others too) by reporting him to Security and Management. If they do not assist you, then go to the Police.

Also:
  • Be Aware Of Your Surroundings
  • Stay Alert
  • Take The Safest Routes Possible To And From Your Place Of Work
  • Stay In The Company Of As Many People As Possible, Wherever You Are
Remain Calm, while always using Good Common Sense.
 
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