Why would my MIL say

[bunnykisses88]

The Knights of Columbus are bad? and ask “Why does the Church need protection?”

She speaks Spanish only and so I don’t understand well at all. She seems to hate the Church or something idk at all. It irritates me a lot sometimes. Like as if Catholics are bad people or something. She’s Christian and is one of those who seem to think Catholics aren’t Christian since she never acknowledges that.

I’m just venting a little here… I’ve already emailed my hubby’s bilingual Godmother to see if she can help me understand and give me advice on how to cope. I mean, I love being Catholic and want my daughter to be too… so I don’t know why MIL can’t just keep her opinions to herself…

hubby doesn’t care at all what his mom thinks about anything so he is not bothered at all.

 

[Trishie]

It hurts when one finds prejudice, opposition, and what may be ignorance of matters, that one values,
but a wife is also usually sensitive where her mother-in-law is concerned.
And yes, if she’s hostile to your faith she should keep such opinions to herself, but I imagine it does rankle that her son is married to a practicing Catholic who intends to raise her grandchildren in the Catholic faith.

I think you can only try not to give her too much power…power to hurt you by allowing her to see that she is upsetting you,
and power to believe that she has the right to any say over the faith in which you intend to raise your own child.
Is it possible for you to ‘cheerfully’ brush off her objections and comments as if they don’t mean much? Change the subject? Then she will have less power?

\Whether or not you should try to answer her objections depends upon whether she is a rigid person who believes her opinion to be infallibly right, and therefore by countering her statements and opinions, you may only exacerbate the difficulty between you and only cause you oppressive distress. Ideally it would be good to be able to enlighten her but some natures are resistant. You may know the answer to that question.

It’s not always easy to be a mother-in-law. I learned very quickly not to intrude in my daughter-in-law’s kitchen, she being a qualified chef! I was mortified to find I was in the way! So long as my daughters-in-law love my sons and they support each other…but I did find my own MIL brought me a lot of sorrow for some years, so naturally I hope you are able to protect yourself. And try not to make your mother-in-law’s problems and limitations your own. They’re not. You are yourself, and your husband’s wife, and your child’s mother. That’s who you are and others should accept you as such, and you, truly know yourself as such, and therefore not subject to this hurt thrust upon you.
It’s lonely if your husband doesn’t support you in this, but be strong!

 

[JRKH]

The Knights of Columbus are bad? and ask “Why does the Church need protection?”

this is probably just a reaction to how the name “Knights” and the fact that they will wear swords etc.

She speaks Spanish only and so I don’t understand well at all. She seems to hate the Church or something idk at all. It irritates me a lot sometimes. Like as if Catholics are bad people or something. She’s Christian and is one of those who seem to think Catholics aren’t Christian since she never acknowledges that.

I wonder if there are tracts in Spanish addressing these concerns…

I’m just venting a little here… I’ve already emailed my hubby’s bilingual Godmother to see if she can help me understand and give me advice on how to cope. I mean, I love being Catholic and want my daughter to be too… so I don’t know why MIL can’t just keep her opinions to herself…

Good move…I would not worry too much about your daughter…You and your husband should have far greater influence than her grandmother, assuming MIL does not live with you.
Some people just “speak their minds”…Nothing you can do about that.

hubby doesn’t care at all what his mom thinks about anything so he is not bothered at all.

This is a pretty good attitude…Don’t let her “get to you”…

Peace
James

 

[Sebrina]

Whenever I hear someone tell me that Catholics are not Christians, I first ask them to define what a Christian is. They will invariably say that a Christian is someone who believes that Jesus is the Son of God, died on the cross for our sins, and arose three days later then, after a short period of time, ascended into Heaven. Well… that is exactly what a Catholic believes. Then they’ll go into blah blah blah Pope blah blah infallibility blah blah worshiping Mary and the Saints. It’s pretty easy, even for me, to shoot those misinterpretations down, and once that is done they usually chill out a bit. I think most misunderstandings come from not understanding the definitions of words or terms like the difference between “venerating the saints” and “worshipping God”. I hope that helps

 

[bunnykisses88]

thanks everyone. I’m cooled off now. I try not to let what other people think bother me but I cant… idk what it is … like I feel like I’m right and they are wrong and I need to tell them right.

lol I would speak my mind too if I knew how to speak Spanish. When my parents say something I don’t agree with I can ask them what do they mean or why they say that etc. So I guess this is why I get frustrated. But of course she is my MIL so I am polite to her. with my parents I have more guts lol.

Yeah, we don’t live with her and I’m so glad! I would rather do things my own way than to hear other people’s opinions. I’m glad that she can see that dd is healthy and happy…so she toned down her “advice” about feeding her.

I’m also glad that my hubby doesn’t let other’s opinions bother him! hopefully that can rub off on me someday =) I’m always trying to please everyone or I get so hurt by what other’s think.

 

[JRKH]

I can’t help but ask…If you don’t speak Spanish, and she does not speak English…How is it you know these things?

Peace
James

 

[bunnykisses88]

I can’t help but ask…If you don’t speak Spanish, and she does not speak English…How is it you know these things?

Peace
James

haha I can understand a little when it is spoken but not a great deal. I can’t put it together in a sentence to speak it. I don’t know the appropriate verb conjugations or other grammar stuff like that. So if someone is speaking plainly about basic stuff I might understand most of it but if they go on about something I get lost and have no clue. So many words I don’t have any clue what they mean.

 

[JRKH]

haha I can understand a little when it is spoken but not a great deal. I can’t put it together in a sentence to speak it. I don’t know the appropriate verb conjugations or other grammar stuff like that. So if someone is speaking plainly about basic stuff I might understand most of it but if they go on about something I get lost and have no clue. So many words I don’t have any clue what they mean.

OK…

Peace
James

 

[manualman]

It helps to forgive her if you understand how she sees the world. If she’s a Spanish speaking protestant, then odds are that she’s in an anti-catholic congregation and hears all sorts of slurs against catholicism from the pulpit regularly. She’s been formed to believe that if she doesn’t do everything she can to convert you to Christ, then you, her son and her grandbabies are going to hell. Imagine how that must feel for her when she drives you crazy.

The best thing you can do is to be Exhibit A on what lies her pastor tells about catholics and catholicism. Life your faith. She’ll eventually figure it out if she’s truly a follower of Christ.

 

[bunnykisses88]

It helps to forgive her if you understand how she sees the world. If she’s a Spanish speaking protestant, then odds are that she’s in an anti-catholic congregation and hears all sorts of slurs against catholicism from the pulpit regularly. She’s been formed to believe that if she doesn’t do everything she can to convert you to Christ, then you, her son and her grandbabies are going to hell. Imagine how that must feel for her when she drives you crazy.

The best thing you can do is to be Exhibit A on what lies her pastor tells about catholics and catholicism. Life your faith. She’ll eventually figure it out if she’s truly a follower of Christ.

thanks. yeah that is what hubby says that those kind of pastors can say. I guess it is not her but those who feed her that poo is who I’m mad at. Thanks and I will try to just live by example =)