Why would someone want to leave the Church?

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Mary9

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I don’t really know where to put this topic.
I’m trying to figure out why I feel so negative when I go to Church. I feel angry, not with God, but with the Catholic Church. I don’t understand why I feel this way. Going to priests, parents, other Catholic authority figures simply made me feel misunderstood, and like the feelings I’m having are wrong and not to be acted on in any way shape or form. But of course they don’t want me to leave! No matter why I felt the way I feel about the world, they wouldn’t want me to leave for whatever reason. I don’t know why I feel this way. I just feel whenever I go to Mass, sometimes to Adoration or to one of those youth conferences (like Steubenville), this anger and this hurt.

I’m not even sure who or what hurt me within the Church, I just know that somewhere along the line, someone who represented the Catholic Church did something against me. I think I know what it was, but I’m certainly not 100% sure.

I love the Sacraments, I especially love the Divine Mercy devotion, but I feel so sick spiritually here. I don’t want to leave, but I want to leave behind whatever it is that hurt me. I want to move on, but I can’t because there are constant reminders of whatever it was. Maybe it was traumatic and I’m covering up the memories?

I need help, but I don’t know where to turn. I have a therapist, but she isn’t Catholic. I’m going to ask her, but I wanted advice from a Catholic/maybe former Catholic source who might be able to understand more fully why I don’t want to leave yet I want to do so. So I turned here. Maybe someone has similar experiences, someone who can help me.
 
If you leave, you’re only going to find bits and pieces of the truth. What good is that? Even non believers have SOME truth. No, Jesus himself is the truth (John 14:6), He founded a Church (Matthew 16:18-19), not thousands of denominations (Ephesians 4:4-6). My advice to you is to study the scriptures, and study history, pray, and pray more.
 
Ask the Lord for the strength to get through this, and for fortitude. Pray, pray, pray! When in doubt, pray!
 
Mary9 said:
one of those youth conferences (like Steubenville), this anger and this hurt.
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You mention youth conferences, are you a teenager?

It could be that Charismatic conferences are not your spiritual cup of tea, perhaps something more along the line of an Ignatian silent retreat would be a better spiritual fit for you?

Anyway, my advice will be different for a teen who is still under their parent’s authority than for an adult.
 
‘And he said, “This is why I told you that no one can come to me unless it is granted him by the Father.”
After this many of his disciples drew back and no longer went about with him. Jesus said to the twelve, “Do you also wish to go away?” Simon Peter answered him, "Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.’ - John 6:65-68
You will not feel better away from the truth.
 
Mary9 said:
I’m not even sure who or what hurt me within the Church, I just know that somewhere along the line, someone who represented the Catholic Church did something against me. I think I know what it was, but I’m certainly not 100% sure.
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I don’t mean to be unsympathetic, but this sounds really odd. Something very bad happened, but you aren’t sure?
 
I used the charismatic conference as an example. The feeling is the same at a youth conference and at Latin Mass and at an essentially silent retreat. I actually feel just the tiniest bit less “judged” I guess is a good word for it, when I’m in Eucharistic Adoration and/or at a youth conference. The feeling is strongest during Adoration, but I also feel closer to God there. Much more so than at a silent retreat.
The feeling arises whenever I do anything Catholic. I feel alienated I guess, for reasons I’m not even sure of. I think I just feel like I don’t belong here, with the Catholic culture. I don’t have too many issues with the Church’s teachings, it’s more like I just feel that I don’t belong here. Part of it is that people have indeed excluded me, but not everyone is like that, and I just don’t get it.
Yes, I am younger than many others. I am a teenager, with increasingly traditional priests and parents everywhere I search. Maybe that’s why I don’t feel like I belong - I don’t fit in with traditional people in general.
 
Now you get my confusion. 🙂
I legitimately feel like whatever happened was more of a collective thing over the course of my life than it was one singular thing, so that’s probably why I can’t remember any one thing happening.
 
Sadly, sometimes there can be a “more Catholic than the Pope” vibe that comes from some people. To the point where one thinks that any bit of fun or laughter or lipstick or a cool song is somehow not Catholic enough. Sometimes people make Faith political and that can cause people to feel excluded, a whole range of things can make a sort of “Us vs Them” wall to come up. I am so sorry if someone has been that way to you.

There are Catholics out there who are like you. If you are into Celtic dancing or punk bands or gaming or knitting or veganism or dog rescue or name any other interest, you will find there are other people out there who share not only your interest but your Faith.

Persevere until you are an adult, I promise you, it will get better!!
 
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