Wife considering leaving the church, advice?

  • Thread starter Thread starter kmerian
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
K

kmerian

Guest
I have lurked here for years, but now a situation has come up that greatly troubles me. I have always been stronger in my Catholic faith than my wife has. Recently she began attending her sisters non-denominational Church. Yesterday she told me that she is going to begin attending church there. Our daughter is being raised Catholic and she has no problem with that, it is just that she feels more “comfortable” and “gets it” in that church.

Needless to say, she is my wife and I support and love her. But inside it is devastating. I can’t help but feel like she is rejecting me, in rejecting something that is a big part of my life. Your advice and prayers would be greatly appreciated at this point.
 
Talk to her and don’t let her go. Sit down with her and find out what it is about the church she doen’t like.

An believe me she may be Ok with your daughter going “somewhere” else. But a rift will begin and only get deeper as your daughter gets older.

Hey man in SA there are only 2 types of protestant churchs. Those that except everything as long is it’s not Catholic and those that reject anything remotely Catholic. No such thing as a Non denom.
Out of curiosity which church does she want to go to.

later

Tobin, St matthew parish on wurzbach
 
People leave the Catholic Church for two reasons:

They do not know the Faith

They do not have a personal relationship with Jesus.

As her husband, you know best which of these best describes your wife.

If it is knowledge of the Faith, get Catholic Radio (if there is not a local station, you can listen on line or over Sirius).

Get some good books, DVDs (Steve Ray’s Footprints of God is great, www.catholicprotestant.com has great stuff too).

Use your Parish library for resources.

If it is about personal relationship, find out if there is a Cursillo group near you, find a women’s conference, a prayer group -
 
as-a-child said:
Talk to her and don’t let her go. Sit down with her and find out what it is about the church she doen’t like.

An believe me she may be Ok with your daughter going “somewhere” else. But a rift will begin and only get deeper as your daughter gets older.

Hey man in SA there are only 2 types of protestant churchs. Those that except everything as long is it’s not Catholic and those that reject anything remotely Catholic. No such thing as a Non denom.
Out of curiosity which church does she want to go to.

later

Tobin, St matthew parish on wurzbach
Click to expand...
It’s a new church called the “Restoration Centre” they bought that dome on Bandera Road that used to be the “Church on the Rock” I have gone with her to two services and they appear to be some kind of cross between Baptist and Pentacostal. Can’t quite figure it out. Yet they constantly refer to the father as “Father God”.

Yesterday he (in my opinion) bashed the Rosary, my wife stated that I over-reacted and promised me that if he was anti-catholic she would leave. I hope so, but she is getting quite seduced by the “easy” salvation and the feel good services.

It never ceases to amaze me though, that “minister” of a “Bible based” church gave an hour and a half lecture and only quoted THREE Bible verses. That is Bible based?
 
kage_ar said:
People leave the Catholic Church for two reasons:

They do not know the Faith

They do not have a personal relationship with Jesus.

As her husband, you know best which of these best describes your wife.

If it is knowledge of the Faith, get Catholic Radio (if there is not a local station, you can listen on line or over Sirius).

Get some good books, DVDs (Steve Ray’s Footprints of God is great, www.catholicprotestant.com has great stuff too).

Use your Parish library for resources.

If it is about personal relationship, find out if there is a Cursillo group near you, find a women’s conference, a prayer group -
Click to expand...
A local Parish has a Charismatic group, perhaps that may be more to her liking? I don’t know, I have never been to one.
 
Pray, have patience , and don’t nag her about it. But do, ask her what it is that she “gets” at the non denom that she isn’t getting at the Catholic church? Maybe she needs to read more about the faith, the roots, the history, the depth. Ask her how she will feel if she may no longer recieve holy communion with her daughter and you.
I can sympathize with you. I am married to a non practicing jewish man who allows me to raise our children in the church, but he never comes with us (expect for children’s sacraments, like baptisim etc…he comes to that stuff)
But I totally get the lonly feeling you must have right now. The feeling that half of who you are as a person is shoved aside by your spouse.
 
I live by the philosophy that people should attend church where ever it is they “FEEL GOD.” Where the Spirit touches their soul and the closeness to God is omni-present. That is the church where one should go.

It’s this philosophy that allows me to be friends with people of many faiths, not just fellow Catholics. In that I learn many variations of theology, which I enjoy. When people don’t feel God in a church they attend I offer a suggestion that they should “shop around” and I am quick to invite them to a Catholic Mass. I also reiterate my philosophy to those who feel a calling to our HRCC, saying “you should not deny God, if He’s calling you here, you should come!”

How does this come back to you? Well I want to advise that your wife is not rejecting YOU at all – it seems God might be calling her elsewhere. We can’t pretend to know His plans. Maybe He called her there because He’ll get more faith and love out of her in a different place than the Catholic Church? All you can do is pray that He makes this variance of faith in your family easy for both of you. You should trust Him.

You should also look inside – does your wife like the other church because of a social aspect? That she’s not being called by God, or experiencing the Spirit, but is serving a simple need for friend-making and inclusion? If so, it’s your job to find some social activities within your church to attend with her. Our church offers a night out weekly for singles and couples to enjoy good food and wine at different restaurants. Look into it. Maybe you could ask her to volunteer with you in programs the church offers, like a “Pregnancy Options” a “Food Pantry” or “St. Vincent De Paul.”

I think your best bet is to really talk this out with her – find out why she wants to go to the church. If it is really a faith-based decision you are going to have to accept it. But really, don’t take it personally, she isn’t rejecting you.

Prayers with you!
 
kmerian said:
A local Parish has a Charismatic group, perhaps that may be more to her liking? I don’t know, I have never been to one.
Click to expand...
That would be something to try.

Fight for your wife’s faith. Fight with love and charity, but, do not give up. It is your goal to see her in heaven!
 
She doesn’t get it there (no sacrements). Go to the EWTN site, watch a few Journey Home programs.
 
Be very careful. Find out what they believe. My sister-in-law left the Catholic Church to attend a non-denominational church. Turns out they really don’t like Catholics. She was married in this Church and their wedding service was an hour long rant about how we were all going to hell. Had nothing to do with the couple or marriage. He was just trying to save the souls of her family. They made her get Baptized again too. It’s been so painful for my in-laws to watch her change faiths. They aren’t going to that church anymore and have moved to the CMA church, but my brother-in-law still believes that Catholics are not Christians.
 
I see you are in San Antonio.
Have you attened Our Lady of Atonement? Beautiful ad uplifiting Mass there. It is like nothing one finds in secular society.
 
kmerian said:
I have lurked here for years, but now a situation has come up that greatly troubles me. I have always been stronger in my Catholic faith than my wife has. Recently she began attending her sisters non-denominational Church. Yesterday she told me that she is going to begin attending church there. Our daughter is being raised Catholic and she has no problem with that, it is just that she feels more “comfortable” and “gets it” in that church.

Needless to say, she is my wife and I support and love her. But inside it is devastating. I can’t help but feel like she is rejecting me, in rejecting something that is a big part of my life. Your advice and prayers would be greatly appreciated at this point.
Click to expand...
I view these types of developments as the ‘heavier parts of our cross’. My entire family, aside from my wife, of course, abandoned the Church, over an extended time. Indeed, I often feel isolated in my faith, but know that Christ is with me, and that suffering, as a result of following Him, is par for the course. It’s actually mandatory. If we’re not suffering, then perhaps our witness is somewhat weak. I’d say let her go, but pray she’ll return. Your relationship with Christ hasn’t changed. Your cross has simply gotten a bit heavier.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top