Wife Does Not want To Have Our Marriage Convalidated

  • Thread starter Thread starter dsjd1969
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
D

dsjd1969

Guest
I am a Catholic and my wife is, Church Of England. We were married seven years ago in a Civil service. I have recently returned to the Church and would like to receive the sacrements. I have spoken to my wife, who I love dearly about having our marriage convalidated, but she has made it clear to me that she feels it is a step she is not willing to make.

My questions are these,

(1) If I can never receive the sacrements again am I not a proper Catholic?

(2) Is there any point in going to mass if I cannot receive the sacrements?

(3) Can I goto mass and then goto a protestant church later and receive the Eucharist?

I am very confused I made a mistake when I was suffering from depression without thinking about the implacations.

In Jesus
 
I am in the process of having my marriage validated as well, so this is all new to me, and I have just learned I am not 100% sure on the rules of marriage in the eyes of the Church and though I have been married for 12 years civily, I am not truly married. But, I will try to answer your questions.
(1) If I can never receive the sacrements again am I not a proper Catholic?
Click to expand...
You cannot receive Holy Communion until your marriage is blessed in the Catholic church.
(2) Is there any point in going to mass if I cannot receive the sacrements?
Click to expand...
You can spend time before our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament which foster a deeper devotion to Him.
(3) Can I goto mass and then goto a protestant church later and receive the Eucharist?
Click to expand...
Other protestant churches do not have the Eucharist (consecrated Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of our Lord).
 
dsjd1969 said:
I am a Catholic and my wife is, Church Of England. We were married seven years ago in a Civil service. I have recently returned to the Church and would like to receive the sacrements. I have spoken to my wife, who I love dearly about having our marriage convalidated, but she has made it clear to me that she feels it is a step she is not willing to make.

My questions are these,

(1) If I can never receive the sacrements again am I not a proper Catholic?

(2) Is there any point in going to mass if I cannot receive the sacrements?

(3) Can I goto mass and then goto a protestant church later and receive the Eucharist?

I am very confused I made a mistake when I was suffering from depression without thinking about the implacations.

In Jesus
Click to expand...
Have you spoken to your pastor about your marriage situation? You should still plan to attend Mass even if you can’t receive the sacraments. The Church of England does not have a valid (actual Body and Blood of Christ) Eucharist.

If your wife is truly hostile to the idea of a Catholic convalidation there is another option.
 
dsjd1969 said:
I am a Catholic and my wife is, Church Of England. We were married seven years ago in a Civil service. I have recently returned to the Church and would like to receive the sacrements. I have spoken to my wife, who I love dearly about having our marriage convalidated, but she has made it clear to me that she feels it is a step she is not willing to make.

My questions are these,

(1) If I can never receive the sacrements again am I not a proper Catholic?

You are still a Catholic but one in an irregular marriage.

(2) Is there any point in going to mass if I cannot receive the sacrements?

Yes, many but not the least of which is the Catholic’s obligation to attend Mass on Sundays and Holy Days of Obligation. It is never required to receive Communion at Mass but it is requred to go to Mass. As you are newly returned, I would suggest you try to keep the precepts to the best of your ability.

(3) Can I goto mass and then goto a protestant church later and receive the Eucharist?

You can attend a protestand church, but not receive communion there. As a recent revert, one might question whether going to a non-Catholic Church as all is such a great idea, however.

I am very confused I made a mistake when I was suffering from depression without thinking about the implacations.

In Jesus
Click to expand...
Go and talk to your priest ASAP. If you haven’t already as part of your return, go to Confession but also meet with your priest in conference. Tell him your situation and listen to his recommendation. Ask him about “Radical Sannation” and if it is appropriate in your situation.
 
dsjd1969 said:
I am a Catholic and my wife is, Church Of England. We were married seven years ago in a Civil service. I have recently returned to the Church and would like to receive the sacrements. I have spoken to my wife, who I love dearly about having our marriage convalidated, but she has made it clear to me that she feels it is a step she is not willing to make.

My questions are these,

(1) If I can never receive the sacrements again am I not a proper Catholic?

(2) Is there any point in going to mass if I cannot receive the sacrements?

(3) Can I goto mass and then goto a protestant church later and receive the Eucharist?

I am very confused I made a mistake when I was suffering from depression without thinking about the implacations.

In Jesus
Click to expand...
Make an appointment with your priest. If you are positive this is a marriage that you wish to be made a sacrament and you cannot convince your wife to lovingly make this sacrifice for you then you most likely are able to have what is known as a radical sanation.

catholic.com/thisrock/1995/9504qq.asp

I’m sorry your wife is unmoved by your plight. I hope she is not that way with other things in your life.

If you wish to be in union with the church you can go to Mass and are obligated to attend all holy days of obligation including Sundays.Yes, there is some good in going to Mass. The Grace to make yourself right with the church will be available to you . The strenght to carry out the right thing. Of couse you want to get to the point to be able to receive the Sacraments. There are some options here. One is to ask for that radical sanation mentioned above. Another might be to cease physical relations with the woman you are living with as a wife perhaps sleep on the couch or another bedroom. Another is to separate. These options are dependant upon certain variables. Whether you have children to nurture and protect , whether you are willing to risk being in a sinful state by living in an invalid marriage , the mental or medical state of you wife etc. In any event you need to have a one on one talk with a priest to work out the details of all this and get some pastoral advice.

I for one would encourage you to return fully to the church and the Sacraments.God has given them to us for a reason. It might be difficult but your soul pretty much depends upon it. Please pray in front of the Blessed Sacrament for God to give you the courage to do what is the right thing.

:gopray:
 
dsjd1969 said:
(1) If I can never receive the sacrements again am I not a proper Catholic?
Click to expand...
Firstly, you can receive the sacraments if you agree to live as brother and sister with your wife.
(2) Is there any point in going to mass if I cannot receive the sacrements?
Click to expand...
Yes, actual grace can be received at Mass.
(3) Can I goto mass and then goto a protestant church later and receive the Eucharist?
Click to expand...
You cannot partake of a Protestant communion service.
I am very confused I made a mistake when I was suffering from depression without thinking about the implacations.
Click to expand...
Do you consider your marriage a mistake?
 
Ask your wife “what if Jesus really did leave us the Catholic Church (despite the fact that everyone in the Catholic Church is a sinner, just like the Apostles Jesus chose and Personally trained for 3 years) to carry on His teaching until He returns?”
"
Would you want to stop our marriage from being Blessed in Jesus’ Church? What would you loose if it was Blessed in the Catholic Church?"

Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, Ora Pro Nobis Peccatoribus!

mark
 
Corki said:
Go and talk to your priest ASAP. If you haven’t already as part of your return, go to Confession but also meet with your priest in conference. Tell him your situation and listen to his recommendation. Ask him about “Radical Sannation” and if it is appropriate in your situation.
Click to expand...
Yes, this would be my advice, too. Radical sanation seems to be your best option:
A radical sanation is a decree issued by the diocesan bishop stating that he accepts the original consent of the marriage as valid. A radical sanation is usually sought when one party to the marriage does not want to participate in a new ceremony for some reason (e.g., because of belief in conscience).
Click to expand...
 
Sorry I skipped that (read every other bit of the thread except the last…) 😊
Thanks.

Pax.
 
Why would one spouse stand in the way of something (neither illegal, immoral or fattening) that meant a great deal to the other spouse? Where’s the loving consideration there?
 
VociMike said:
Why would one spouse stand in the way of something (neither illegal, immoral or fattening) that meant a great deal to the other spouse? QUOTE]

Maybe she believes in conscience that they are already validly married and is offended and threatened by all this talk of convalidation. It must make her wonder what the last seven years were all about and what the nature of the commitment he made to her at the time of the civil marriage really was. The Church respects that a non-Catholic spouse might have legitimate reservations or objections in principle to convalidation: that’s why the option of radical sanation is available in these cases.
Click to expand...
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top