Wife refusing to fill out annulment questionaire

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jgladwell

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She feels judged by the questions and by the men who will review it. She doesn’t want to have to contact her exhusband or have him or his family contacted by the church to review the case.

What am I supposed to do? I feel hamstrung by this, I can’t receive the Lord while we are married until she does this and she receives the annulment, correct?
 
jgladwell said:
She feels judged by the questions and by the men who will review it. She doesn’t want to have to contact her exhusband or have him or his family contacted by the church to review the case.

What am I supposed to do? I feel hamstrung by this, I can’t receive the Lord while we are married until she does this and she receives the annulment, correct?
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You are correct. Technically you are not Married, at least not to her at this point.
 
I don’t have any great advice, but I’m starting the process myself, filling out the questionnaire and getting ready to contact my ex-husband. If your wife wants to talk to someone who is going through the process, I’d be glad to visit with her.
 
Hi, I think you should try talking to her again, really calmly, and explain how important this is to you and that you wouldn’t be able to receive the Eucharist otherwise… is your wife Catholic too, or becoming Catholic? If so, it would be an issue for her too… maybe let her know that you understand it’s difficult for her and you’re there for her… hope everything works out, God bless…
 
jgladwell said:
She feels judged by the questions and by the men who will review it. She doesn’t want to have to contact her exhusband or have him or his family contacted by the church to review the case.
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She does not have to contact her ex husband. The Tribunal does that.

Perhaps she does not understand what nullity is if she is feeling “judged.”

I suggest reading the book Annulment: The Wedding That Was by Michael Smith Foster.
jgladwell said:
What am I supposed to do? I feel hamstrung by this, I can’t receive the Lord while we are married until she does this and she receives the annulment, correct?
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Well, jgladwell, how did you come to be in this position?

You are correct that you are in an invalid marriage and that you cannot receive the sacraments until you correct your situation. You are currently in a state of serious sin.

You have some difficult decisions ahead of you if (a) your wife will not pursue a decree of nullity or (b) if she is not granted one due to her first marriage being found to be valid.
 
jgladwell said:
I can’t receive the Lord while we are married until she does this and she receives the annulment, correct?
Click to expand...
I’ve heard that you can receive communion BUT you have to live as brother and sister with your wife. This is what my mom and step dad had to do while they were waiting on their annulments to be granted, no sex.
 
it sounds as if she, as well as some contributors here, have misinformation about this process. Please explain her situation to your priest and ask him to arrange for her to meet privately with an advocate from the tribunal who will explain in more detail what information is needed, and why, and that she need have no contact with her ex or his family. This advocate can also help her deal with the emotions this process brings up, and help her recognize the healing nature of this process, and this is particularly important for her own well-being and the health of your marriage, even over and above the spiritual aspect of return to the sacraments.
 
Go to confession and decide to live together as brother and sister until you go through the annulment process. Having to live as brother and sister will put a little gentle pressure on your wife to go through the painful but necessary process, and you will also be doing the best for her soul by not encouraging her to sin.
 
She has made contact with the pastor back home and is starting the process.

She said she prayed about it and God told her she was standing in between me and God.

Please pray for her as she re-lives and has to remember her previous marriage.

James
 
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