Will I ever be able to break the habit?

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Truck

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I am having a problem with masturbation and have been for years. And I don’t know what to do to stop. I got in the habit when I was 11 and before I was Catholic and I didn’t know it was wrong. But when I became Catholic a couple of years ago I realized it was wrong and I have been trying to stop ever since then. I can make it a week or two with out doing it but then I fall. It is really hard when there’s lots of stress. I fell again today and I am going to confession on Saturday (that’s the next time I can go). But I feel awful for it. I feel like until I get to confession I should leave my room or do anything. If God knows that I am sorry and that I am planning on going to confession Saturday then is it ok for me to live life until I get to confession?
 
Pray the Rosary with the intention of grace to overcome this addiction. Pray it everyday, and make daily Mass. God gives us the means to overcome sin if we will only take advantage of them.

Be particularly attentive to the times of day or circumstances that make temptation more likely. If you feel as though one of these circumstances is arising, be particularly mindful to pray and meditate. And if you fall into mortal sin again, remember that God’s mercy is infinite. I know how you feel. Addictions like this *can *be overcome.

Also, St. Paul advises those who cannot overcome these temptations to get married - so start looking. 😉
 
You’re not alone in this, Truck. I, too, have had to struggle with this same habit. Sometimes I am able to only go a few days after I confess before I fall again; other times I am able to go for weeks, or even months, and then one day I fall again on my face by giving in to temptation. What I have learned is that God has given us the wonderful and efficacious Sacrament of Reconciliation, or Confession; in the confessional, Jesus acts as the Divine Physician of our wounded souls through the priest to whom you’re speaking, whether you’re kneeling behind a screen or seated facing the priest.

God knows that you are trying, and He knows that I am trying as well; He knows that Adam’s sin made us imperfect, but He is pleased that we make an effort to overcome sin, even if we fall short. As nobeerinheaven mentioned, prayer, especially praying the Rosary, is a powerful weapon against sin in times of temptation. I probably should pray it more myself, especially when temptation strikes.

I also recommend reading the book, The Courage to be Chaste, by Fr. Benedict Groeschel, CFR, or finding any other writings he has on chastity.
 
I once struggled with the same problem, for years. Eventually, by God’s grace, I have conquered it (over a year and a half since the last time)- though temptation arises.

One thing I have learned is focus on avoiding it day-by-day. If you can focus on “now” and not on later, it will help.

God bless,

Peter
Tiber Swim Team, 1999-2000
 
I just feel so aweful that I fell. I cant get to confession until Saturday but I am going to go then. But I feel so bad that I cant even make myself leave the house until I can go to confession.
 
Truck,

You are trying… you are sincerely sorry and plan to go to confession at the next possible time then you are good.

We go to confession because we are never sure how perfect our contrition is but from the sounds of it… yours is pretty sincere and you have every intent on going to the Sacrament of Reconcilliation at the earliest time.

God dosen’t want you to hid away in your house, EVEN when you sin… if that was the case, most of us would be at home 90% of the time.

Christ commands us and we are confirmed as Priests, Prophets and Kings to go and tell the world, and show the world who He is, we can’t do that from our house.

Even the disciples were not perfect, only Jesus Christ.

Pray and ask God to fogive you, He will, ALL Forgivenss comes from God anyway (as my Priest would say) our Priests are just representing Him on Earth during the Sacrament.

Have faith that you have been forgiven and make that earliest confession date you committed to Christ and His Church when you prayed.

Ask the Holy Spirit to give you strength and go out a live your life by Loving and Serving the Lord.

Joe
 
Keep trying and praying. Addictions take work, time, and support to overcome. The others’ advice here is wonderful.

I’d recommend against staying in your home and avoiding life until confession. Being bored and alone at home is probably the worst thing you can do to avoid a temptation like this…
 
A lot of great suggestions posted for you to follow. I would recommend reading The Good News About Sex & Marriage by Christopher West and Theology of the Body by John Paul II. They open your eyes to the gift of your sexuality. TGNAS&M is in a quesiton and answer format and it easy to read. TOTB is much more in depth. You could try TOTB for Beginners by Christopher West also, it would be easier to read.

Wherever you tend to masturbate, keep a picture of Jesus or a crucifix right in plain sight.
 
I fell again I am so sick on falling. Why cant I break this? I have ordered a crucifix and a picture of Jesus and Mary from EWTN to put in my room because that’s where I fall the most. I was doing ok but I had just work up when I fell and I was not fully alert. I am going to confession on Saturday (unless I can get a hold of a priest sooner) I just hate this sin and want to stop it.
 
Super_Sport said:
I fell again I am so sick on falling. Why cant I break this? I have ordered a crucifix and a picture of Jesus and Mary from EWTN to put in my room because that’s where I fall the most. I was doing ok but I had just work up when I fell and I was not fully alert. I am going to confession on Saturday (unless I can get a hold of a priest sooner) I just hate this sin and want to stop it.
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Praise God that He is a merciful God. Take pride and solice in the fact that you have (seemingly) been making strides in the right direction. Baby step, right? Don’t beat yourself up over this. You said that you were partially awake, that alone tells you that you did not give full consent. That would be likened to having a sexual dream which causes a nocturnal emission. You are not culpabile for that. Even had you woke up in the middle masturbating. You are not fully aware of what is going on.

Take heart, you are getting there. It takes time to overcome.
 
Sin sucks

Its can disguise itself as something good and yet you will know immediately afterwards that you messed up.

Overcoming this is hard. But like everyone else said, God knows that you’re trying and He will be there for you when you need Him.

Just don’t shut Him out. Sometimes you’ll push Him out of your thoughts for the fleeting moment of pleasure, only to be reminded of the sinfullness of the act.

Boredom, as everyone said (Isnt it great to have people who know exactly what you’re going through?) is a big problem. Its like the Devil is tapping your shoulder and saying “You’ve got nothing better to do!”
Ignore him and see that temptation for what it is. Think about where that temptation came from. And think about what that tempter is and what he stands for. Thinking about that may help in tandem with asking God for His grace.

In the Catechism of the Catholic Church it says this:
“To form an equitable judgment about the subjects’ moral responsibilityand to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of aquired habit, conditions of anxiety, or other psychological or social factors that lessen or even extenuate moral culpability”
So perhaps it is not a Mortal sin in the case of addiction, but its still a sin and it must be rejected.
I recommend that you keep going to confession at least once every two weeks. Also, pray three Hail Mary’s a day for purity of mind, body and heart. Pray the Rosary, make the Stations of the Cross. and devote yourself to St. Joseph.
Trash anything that will remind you of the act, and remove any temptation. That includes swimsuit posters, etc. Surround yourself with holy images instead and focus on them during your time alone.
Practice self-control in other aspects of your life. Fast, skip watching a TV show, clean up a mess.
Just don’t let yourself fall. And we won’t let you fall either. Come back here if you feel like you need help, someone will provide some words of wisdom, holiness and perhaps simple distraction.
If you’re at home and you are bored, and that temptation starts to come up, do something active!
Run around in circles like a chicken with its head cut off. Lift weights, something!
Even playing games might help!
Using those temporary helps (distraction) along with the long term (Prayer, etc) will help you overcome this habit.
Just don’t give up, because the devil won’t either.
 
Thanks for the advice guys. I just feel so bad. I was going to put in job applications today and study but I feel to guilty to do that now:(
 
Super_Sport said:
Thanks for the advice guys. I just feel so bad. I was going to put in job applications today and study but I feel to guilty to do that now:(
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I am not usually one to come out and order people around, but do it! Go put in the application with your head held high. After that come home and do your studies.

When you say the Lord’s prayer, you say “thy will be done” His will, God’s will, you prayed for His will on this day and this is what He is asking of you, challenging you if you will. To see if you can move past this struggle or let it consume you. C’mon buddy, take up your cross and follow Him. Don’t let this stop you. God’s mercy is neverending.

Go and sin no more. Enjoy your day, do not let this bring you down.
 
Mirror_Mirror said:
I am not usually one to come out and order people around, but do it! Go put in the application with your head held high. After that come home and do your studies.

When you say the Lord’s prayer, you say “thy will be done” His will, God’s will, you prayed for His will on this day and this is what He is asking of you, challenging you if you will. To see if you can move past this struggle or let it consume you. C’mon buddy, take up your cross and follow Him. Don’t let this stop you. God’s mercy is neverending.

Go and sin no more. Enjoy your day, do not let this bring you down.
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Thanks thats what I needed to hear:) I wont let it bring me down. I do have a question about the job I am looking at but I will start a new thread about that.
 
I know I am a little bit late on this thread but I just wanted to add in how personally it is helpful to concentrate on every small battle against impurity in order to win the bigger ones. In dealing with the addictions it is easy to try and make compromises which all eventually just lead to a greater fall. The devil tries just to make you fall an inch then takes you farther and farther down. In The Courage to be Chaste, by Fr. Benedict Groeschel, he mentions how every victory against impurity is an act of love towards God that can never be erased. Try to turn the tides and in your everyday actions attempt to think and look respectfully instead of sexually towards others so you can build up purity instead of constantly building up arousal. Pray and follow the advice of these other great posts, and perhaps check out www.pureloveclub.com, its a great resource.
 
Praying the Rosary everyday and during the temptation, keep calling Jesus, Mary, and Joseph for help.
 
Do you look at pornography? If so, Jeff Cavins has a great CD on pornography & masturbation Defeating Satan’s Deadly Weapon Against Men - it has lots of really pracctical tips about how not to put yourself in harms way on this issue-- go to www.lighthousecatholicmedia.com – they will sell you the individual CD for $3.00 plus s/h… at least, they’ve sold me individual CDs–you just have to email or call and get an actual person to talk to you…
I just listened to this CD-- I am a woman, who doesn’t ahve this issue, but I’m responsible for ordering and stocking inspiring Catholic CDs, including those from LCM, in a display rack in our Church. I like to listen to them so I can recommend them personally… I made my husband listen to it, and he said alot of it applied to him in his earlier days when he wasn’t Catholic and struggled with this temptation… Remember what Mother Theresa said (it may be a paraphrase, but you get the idea): God doesn’t call us to be perfect, he calls us to be faithful! Just keep on getting back up after you fall and go get that confessional grace!
God bless!
 
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