Will not babtise their child

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endaman said:
My sister and brother, who themselves had a catholic marriage have decided not to baptize their daughter and also want to send her to a secular school.

I am probably one of the people who will challenge them on this and I feel I need to as no one else is bothering.

Has anyone any advise, tips or resources for me to follow?

My intention is to sit down with my sister and explain the relevance of Jesus in our lives and how important we follow the Churches sacraments. I would also like to explain the consequences for salvation for those who do not follow Christ but am not sure if this is too heavy handed.

Thanks.
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Yes. Heavy handedness will not work.

You would have to ask them why they sre choosng not to do this in a gentle, caring and sincere manner-You cannot try to guide someone unless you know the obstacles, and approach someone in a nice way.

You have to know what is important to them to be persuasive, not what’s important to you, because even if it is true …it may not be true for them.

In order for me to give more advice I also need the reason…are they still catholic and are they planning to raise the child so? If not, then the conversation would be different.
 
TheTrinitySaves said:
I took the advice from peter on this thread

forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=1040686
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And that poster was out of line and was rebuked. You even agreed with one of the rebukes only to post this here!?

Do you understand why what you posted is problematic and why it’s theologically ignorant and dangerous?

If I seem harsh it’s because you crossed a line.

I understand this issue well. I’ve rouge baptized before. I confessed it. It’s a problem.
And it shows a fundamental lack of understanding of the sacrament itself.
 
Hoosier_Daddy said:
And that poster was out of line and was rebuked. You even agreed with one of the rebukes only to post this here!?

Do you understand why what you posted is problematic and why it’s theologically ignorant and dangerous?

If I seem harsh it’s because you crossed a line.

I understand this issue well. I’ve rouge baptized before. I confessed it. It’s a problem.
And it shows a fundamental lack of understanding of the sacrament itself.
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The moderators messaged me rebuking me for telling peter that it was terrible advice.
Yes I understand it is, but peter is a catholic expert, and he said I was wrong and told me to stop preventing babies from being baptized because if they were not baptized they would go to hell.
 
Jeanne_S said:
I feel your pain.One of my daughter’s and her husband,both raised Catholic have yet to baptize my 18monthnold granddaughter.My sil doesn’t want her indoctrinated,would rather she make up her own mind when older.:(I just keep sending articles to my daughter on the importance of baptism and I pray a lot!🙏🙏🙏
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Love this kind of logic. Sometimes I ask when I hear this if the person saying it in believes in Christ. When the answer is yes, then I ask how they would feel if they fail to pass on the faith and damn themselves and their child. They say terrible. I then ask them that, seeing as they believe religion is true, do they also feel the same about math? Science? I mean, I don’t want indoctrinate my kids with mathematics, let them make up their own mind.

The stupidity of it all is astounding to me.
 
RCinMT said:
Love this kind of logic. Sometimes I ask when I hear this if the person saying it in believes in Christ. When the answer is yes, then I ask how they would feel if they fail to pass on the faith and damn themselves and their child. They say terrible. I then ask them that, seeing as they believe religion is true, do they also feel the same about math? Science? I mean, I don’t want indoctrinate my kids with mathematics, let them make up their own mind.

The stupidity of it all is astounding to me.
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Oh I couldn’t agree more!!
 
TheTrinitySaves said:
Just putting this out there are something to think about, the church only sets three criteria for a valid baptism.

I am not reccomending you doing this, just so you know.
Flowing water must be used.
The Trinity must be invoked.
There must be an intent to carry out a baptism in the way the church understands baptism.

For it to the be valid, there is no requirement about who does it or when or what you say beyond invoking the Trinity.
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Pregnant nonbeliever here: If you did this to my child, I don’t care if you’re a grandparent, aunt, uncle, or my best friend in the world, that would be the last time you would ever spend time with him or her unsupervised. And even supervised, visits would be few and far between, and very short.

No amount of apologizing, regret, or whatever on your part would ever convince me to allow an authentic and close relationship with my kid.
 
Here is my experience FWIW.

My son, who I nearly lost as a young adult, is raised in the Church. Nowdays he is not practising. My one day DIL is not baptised. None of her family is.

I have asked her to be baptised. She wanted to know why. I gave her an answer from my priest.
I greet her with a little statue of Jesus, and always have Rosary beads around.

She does not at this point want to be baptised. I pray.

A month or so ago she and my son said their children will be baptised. But she wont. Ever.

But she keeps asking questions about God and the Church. What I am learning is this is a long slow process. And if I were to push it, appear, to her, fanatical, it would push her away.

Your people know how you feel. Now it is to you, not to push it. But as my priest says. Be the salt, be the light, be that example of a good Catholic who follows Jesus. Thats all we can do. And pray.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
Pregnant nonbeliever here: If you did this to my child, I don’t care if you’re a grandparent, aunt, uncle, or my best friend in the world, that would be the last time you would ever spend time with him or her unsupervised. And even supervised, visits would be few and far between, and very short.

No amount of apologizing, regret, or whatever on your part would ever convince me to allow an authentic and close relationship with my kid.
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Former non-believer here and I agree completely. It’s not at all acceptable and you should expect to be cut off if they find out. My husband and I both had nurse grandmothers who secretly baptised Jewish babies in the hospital and I’ve always felt extremely uncomfortable about that. OP, it doesn’t sound like you were considering this, but I just wanted to chime in just in case. I was worried someone would suggest something like that as soon as I read the title.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
Pregnant nonbeliever here: If you did this to my child, I don’t care if you’re a grandparent, aunt, uncle, or my best friend in the world, that would be the last time you would ever spend time with him or her unsupervised. And even supervised, visits would be few and far between, and very short.

No amount of apologizing, regret, or whatever on your part would ever convince me to allow an authentic and close relationship with my kid.
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Absolutely. I actually think it a form of assault.
I can’t imagine members of other faiths performing rituals on my child!
(Someone send this to my LDS family)
 
endaman said:
My sister and brother, who themselves had a catholic marriage have decided not to baptize their daughter and also want to send her to a secular school.

I am probably one of the people who will challenge them on this and I feel I need to as no one else is bothering.

Has anyone any advise, tips or resources for me to follow?
.
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Yes. Butt out. This is not your child, so therefore, not your place to tell your sister and husband how to raise her.
 
Indigo_Cardinal said:
Yes. Butt out. This is not your child, so therefore, not your place to tell your sister and husband how to raise her.
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On one hand, it is absolutely true. It is a serious commitment to have a child baptized, and the duty to raise the child accordingly is a very serious one, as well.

On the other hand, if the SIL were planning on keeping their child out of school and not teaching her to read or write or do mathematics so she could choose when she was older whether or not she wanted to be educated, which of us would “butt out”? What if the parents who planned to do this were both college-educated, instead of lacking any education themselves? In the first case, the choice would be unfortunate. In the second, well, would it not be scandalous?

To be raised in the faith is the* birthright *of the child of Catholics who marry in the Church. When they married in the Church, they were asked up front whether or not they intended to a) welcome children and b) raise them according to the laws of the Church, and they all say they are ready to do that, in front of all their friends, their relatives, Heaven and everyone else.

So, when do we hear someone make a promise in front of everyone and then feel a need to bite our tongues when they decide they don’t want to keep their promise? When they marry. That’s all. It is worth wondering why that is, I would think.
 
BlueEyedLady said:
Pregnant nonbeliever here: If you did this to my child, I don’t care if you’re a grandparent, aunt, uncle, or my best friend in the world, that would be the last time you would ever spend time with him or her unsupervised. And even supervised, visits would be few and far between, and very short.

No amount of apologizing, regret, or whatever on your part would ever convince me to allow an authentic and close relationship with my kid.
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More to the point, a priest would not baptize a child whose parents had not brought the child to him to be baptized and assured him they intended to raise the child in the faith.

Baptism is a very serious commitment. It is an initiation into the life of the Church, into the Body of Christ. It isn’t some one time bit of magic that is applied as an external ritual, as some kind of supernatural “fire insurance.”
 
If I was struggling and doubting my Catholic faith and then someone baptized my child behind my back that could well be the thing that makes me lose faith in the Catholic Church altogether. Don’t do it.
 
ConfusedLucy said:
If I was struggling and doubting my Catholic faith and then someone baptized my child behind my back that could well be the thing that makes me lose faith in the Catholic Church altogether. Don’t do it.
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More to the point: it is an abuse of the sacrament to baptize a child without permission of the child’s parents. No priest in his right mind would do it, and a layperson should never ever do it, either. It is deeply wrong.
 
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