Willful exclusion of children?

[MalcolmT]

In the 3.5 years we’ve been married, my wife has refused to have relations with me unless I wear “protection.” The only exception was for about one month when she became pregnant as a result of failure of that same “protection” (we were expection twins, but sadly lost the babies). I mention this because our marriage was consumated, in spite of ourselves.

She has now made it quite clear to me that she does not want children, and that her career and education are more important to her than a family. Additionally, we’re both over 40, so she says the risk of having a child with birth defects is too high.

Given that this intention of hers was present from the beginning of our marriage, are there grounds for annulment?

 

[Cristiano]

Your thinking about the possible lack of validity of your marriage is not unreasonable. However, nobody in this forum can assess your situation and neither can you. You should talk to a priest about it and you also have to remember what is your true commitment to the woman that you married.

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

Given that this intention of hers was present from the beginning of our marriage, are there grounds for annulment?

It sounds like there are. But you need to talk to a priest who is experienced in this in order to get more information. Also, there are members here who are going through an annulment and they are very knowledgeable about the whole thing. They have a group that you could join and ask questions there.

 

[Neofight]

I really hope a moderator closes this thread.

The answers thus far that cite the need to take this question up with the clergy is the best and only advice you can be offered…except for prayer and complete trust in The Lord.

However, I fear it is only a matter of time before the legalistic CAF members will come in rattling off canon law and making thinly veiled judgements.

I pray you find peace!

 

[1ke]

In the 3.5 years we’ve been married, my wife has refused to have relations with me unless I wear “protection.” The only exception was for about one month when she became pregnant as a result of failure of that same “protection” (we were expection twins, but sadly lost the babies). I mention this because our marriage was consumated, in spite of ourselves.

She has now made it quite clear to me that she does not want children, and that her career and education are more important to her than a family. Additionally, we’re both over 40, so she says the risk of having a child with birth defects is too high.

Given that this intention of hers was present from the beginning of our marriage, are there grounds for annulment?

I echo the suggestion you sit down and discuss this with your pastor. Yes, a permanent intention against children, antecedent to the marriage, would be possible grounds for nullity. But, it’s not straightforward. It would have to be provable in the external forum. Was this common knowledge before marriage? Did she tell you she wanted children before marriage? Did you discuss NFP/contraception, etc? These are rhetorical questions to think about, not something to reply to here.

Please go talk to your pastor.