Wishing for Purgatory and other Questions

[TikiTokiguy]

I’m not Catholic but pretty close to considering joining it. I’m not postive what Purgatory is but it interests me.

So here are my questions - where does Purgatory come from? Do Catholic get it from the Bible or some place else? I’m just curious.

I like the idea I think although I’m not positive what all goes on there. One thing that interests me about it is my dad. He died when I was six. I sort of hate him very much. I only have a few memories of him and they are all bad. No physical abuse, just bad memories. He was born Catholic and died Catholic.

Anyway, I was wanting to go to Hell so I could see him and punish him for a billion years. But I got to thinking about Purgatory. Is it ok for me to wish he’s in Purgatory, in pain, suffering and being cleansed for letting me down and his family? Is it ok for me to want to go to Purgatory and be with my dad for billions of years so I can punish him personally?
After a, say a trillion years, I would like to go to Heaven, hopefully with my dad, perhaps.
But I really want at least a billion year with him to punish him and make him cry in extreme pain. Can I do that in Purgatory? Is my goal wrong and un-Christian? I know it’s a bad goal, but I have to do what I have to do.

I’m hoping joining the Catholic church will bring me some how closer to my dad. Maybe if I join the church he was in I can finally learn how to forgive him.

 

[MarkThompson]

I’m not Catholic but pretty close to considering joining it. I’m not postive what Purgatory is but it interests me.

So here are my questions - where does Purgatory come from? Do Catholic get it from the Bible or some place else? I’m just curious.

I like the idea I think although I’m not positive what all goes on there. One thing that interests me about it is my dad. He died when I was six. I sort of hate him very much. I only have a few memories of him and they are all bad. No physical abuse, just bad memories. He was born Catholic and died Catholic.

Anyway, I was wanting to go to Hell so I could see him and punish him for a billion years. But I got to thinking about Purgatory. Is it ok for me to wish he’s in Purgatory, in pain, suffering and being cleansed for letting me down and his family? Is it ok for me to want to go to Purgatory and be with my dad for billions of years so I can punish him personally?
After a, say a trillion years, I would like to go to Heaven, hopefully with my dad, perhaps.
But I really want at least a billion year with him to punish him and make him cry in extreme pain. Can I do that in Purgatory? Is my goal wrong and un-Christian? I know it’s a bad goal, but I have to do what I have to do.

I’m hoping joining the Catholic church will bring me some how closer to my dad. Maybe if I join the church he was in I can finally learn how to forgive him.

I think your last sentence says what you ought to be reflecting on. If you want to know whether it’s understandable to wish ill and spite upon those who have let you down, rather than wishing the best for them, the answer is yes. If you want to know whether it’s Christian, you will find the answer to that in Jesus’ words as you read and reflect on the Gospels.

If you’d like some specific information about Purgatory, its background, and the Church’s teachings about it, I recommend that you read the documents about it from Catholic Answers here and here.

 

[TikiTokiguy]

So everyone on earth goes to purgatory?

 

[TikiTokiguy]

So it’s ok to pray for those in purgatory? Can I pray to the saints in Heaven and ask them to
intercede for those in purgatory?

 

[TikiTokiguy]

Is it OK to wish for people to go to purgatory? For instance, if I see a man with a little son or daughter, and hear him cussing and yelling at the child, using really bad language, is it Christian to think “I hope that man spends a good time in purgatory for that”?

 

[MarkThompson]

So everyone on earth goes to purgatory?

No. Some people, presumably, go immediately to Heaven, although, as far as I know, the Church understands it to be a fairly small number who are ready to go straight to Heaven without any preparation in Purgatory. Other people, regrettably, go to Hell, where they remain for eternity. People only go to Purgatory if they are ultimately bound for heaven but are just not ready to enter the Divine Presence yet. On the plus side, though, as far as I know if you die and find yourself in Purgatory it means you will definitely – if eventually – go to Heaven! No one in Purgatory can wind up getting sent to Hell.

So it’s ok to pray for those in purgatory? Can I pray to the saints in Heaven and ask them to intercede for those in purgatory?

Yes, definitely!

 

[Belloc_Fan]

Is it ok for me to want to go to Purgatory and be with my dad for billions of years so I can punish him personally?
…]
I’m hoping joining the Catholic church will bring me some how closer to my dad. Maybe if I join the church he was in I can finally learn how to forgive him.

I was just reading a beautiful homily by St. John Chrysostom:

Do not tell me then, that so and so hath done me grievous mischief, but just consider what Christ did near the Cross itself, wishing to amend by His kiss the traitor by whom He was on the point of being betrayed. And see with how much power to shame him. For He says, “Judas, betrayest thou the Son of Man with a kiss?” [Luke 22:28]. Who is there He would not have softened? who is there that this address would not have made yielding? What beast? what adamant? Yet not that wretched man.

Do not then say, that such an one murdered such an one, and that is why I turn aside from him. For even if he were upon the point of thrusting a sword down into thee, and to plunge his hand into thy neck itself, kiss this very right hand! since even Christ kissed that mouth which wrought His death! And therefore do not thou either hate, but bewail and pity him that plotteth against thee. For such an one deserveth pity at our hands, and tears.

For we are the servants of Him Who kissed even the traitor (I will not leave off dwelling over that continually), and spoke words unto him more gentle than the kiss. For He did not even say, O thou foul and villanous traitor, is this the sort of recompense thou returnest us for so great a benefit? But in what words? “Judas;” using his own name, which is more like a person bemoaning, and recalling him, than one wroth at him. And he does not say, thy Teacher, thy Master, and Benefactor, but, “the Son of Man.” For though He were neither Teacher nor Master, yet is it with One Who is so gently, so unfeignedly affected towards thee, as even to kiss thee at the time of betrayal, and that when a kiss too was the signal for the betrayal; is it with Him that thou playest the traitor’s part? Blessed art Thou, O Lord! What lowliness of mind, what forbearance hast Thou given us examples of! And to him He so behaved.

But to those who came with staves and swords to Him, was it not so too? What can be more gentle than the words spoken to them? For when He had power to demolish them all in an instant, He did nothing of the kind, but as expostulating, addressed them in the words, “Why, are ye come out as against a thief with swords and staves?” [Matt. 26:55]. And having east them down backwards [John 18:6], as they continued insensible, He of His own accord gave Himself up next, and forbore while He saw them putting manacles upon His holy hands, while He had the power at once to confound all things, and overthrow them.

Likewise, St. Augustine, writing on the same topic (of Christ allowing Judas to kiss Him, even though Judas’ kiss meant Christ’s betrayal), wrote within the broader context of mental patience:

By this patience, holy David bore the revilings of a railer, and, when he might easily have avenged himself, not only did it not, but even refrained another who was vexed and moved for him; and more put forth his kingly power by prohibiting than by exercising vengeance. Nor at that time was his body afflicted with any disease or wound, but there was an acknowledging of a time of humility, and a bearing of the will of God, for the sake of which there was a drinking of the bitterness of contumely with most patient mind.

This patience the Lord taught, when, the servants being moved at the mixing in of the tares and wishing to gather them up, He said that the householder answered, "Leave both to grow until the harvest.’ That, namely, must be patience put up with, which must not be in haste put away.

Of this patience Himself afforded and showed an example, when, before the passion of His Body, He so bore with His disciple Judas, that ere He pointed him out as the traitor, He endured him as a thief; and before experience of bonds and cross and death, did, to those lips so full of guile, not deny the kiss of peace. All these, and whatever else there be, which it were tedious to rehearse, belong to that manner of patience, by which the mind doth, not its own sins but any evils so ever from without, patiently endure in itself, while the body remains altogether unhurt.

David lets go of his grudge, and in doing so, offers a powerful witness to the mercy of God. Likewise, Christ’s witness to Judas is stunningly personal, as St. John Chrysostom notes. I don’t know what your dad did, and I don’t really doubt that you’ve got grounds to be mad at him. But there are good reasons to let go of that anger and just love and pray *for *him:

1. 
   *]We pray that God “forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us,” (cf. Luke 11:4), and God has promised to us our own standard against us (Matthew 7:2). If we refuse to forgive the (comparatively) tiny sins others, including loved ones, commit against us, we can’t expect God to forgive our infinitely larger debt of sins against Him.
   *]In forgiving, you serve as a beautiful witness for the love of Christ, we’re “acknowledging of a time of humility, and a bearing of the will of God,” so that our forgiveness can be a source of healing for those around us. While the man you’re mad at, your dad, is now dead, many others he may have hurt or let down aren’t. In forgiving him, you can help bring healing to those around you who are also hurting, and bring the salve of healing upon your whole family.