Without Scandal

[Polaris]

I read many arguments on this thread about how you should not do anything that is perceived as scandal. I want to ask is that even possible now a day, where everyone twists innocent acts into nefarious deeds.
If I have a female roommate everyone thinks I’m cohabitating. If I have a male roommate everyone thinks I’m cohabitating. If I went out to eat with a friend who is female, it is assumed I was having an affair, now the same goes for eating out with men . I volunteer at hospice and I’m guilty of giving the appearance of supporting the culture of death even though they were all against the tube getting removed. I go to the gym I’m guilty of supporting the sin of pride and vanity. If I stay home I’m guilty supporting of the sin of sloth. I vote Dem I’m guilty of supporting the sin of abortion and gay rights, I vote Rep I’m guilty of a sin against social justice. I get dessert at a restaurant and I’m guilty of giving the appearance of supporting gluttony. I shop at Target and Im guilty of giving the appearence of supporting abortion and abadonment of Christ. The only thing I seem to be able to do is breath and that is only in a non smoking area.

Sow how do you measure or gauge, scandal in this day and age where the worst is always expected?

The ever scandalous,
Polaris

 

[SeekerJen]

I struggle with this daily. My husband and I have been married three years. We’re fairly well off, own a home, he works full-time and I’m a student. We have no children, due to infertility. Yet I’m sure it appears to outsiders that we’re using birth control to avoid kids until I’m out of school, because we’re selfish. I hate the fact that we’re causing scandal, yet our only option out of it would be to either shell out thousands of dollars that we don’t have to adopt, or shell out similar amounts of money for IVF. The kicker is that if we went for IVF, we would be committing mortal sin, yet if we didn’t tell anyone, we’d look like good procreating Catholics.

So I guess we’ll just keep living in the appearance of scandal until we can afford to adopt. It stresses me out as I have always been one to worry about others’ perceptions of me, but this is completely out of our control right now.

 

[JimG]

I struggle with this daily. My husband and I have been married three years. We’re fairly well off, own a home, he works full-time and I’m a student. We have no children, due to infertility. Yet I’m sure it appears to outsiders that we’re using birth control to avoid kids until I’m out of school, because we’re selfish. I hate the fact that we’re causing scandal, yet our only option out of it would be to either shell out thousands of dollars that we don’t have to adopt, or shell out similar amounts of money for IVF. The kicker is that if we went for IVF, we would be committing mortal sin, yet if we didn’t tell anyone, we’d look like good procreating Catholics.

So I guess we’ll just keep living in the appearance of scandal until we can afford to adopt. It stresses me out as I have always been one to worry about others’ perceptions of me, but this is completely out of our control right now.

You have no control over what other people think. You can give good example in the way you live your lives. Others should not make assumptions about private matters.

 

[mary_bobo]

You have no control over what other people think. You can give good example in the way you live your lives. Others should not make assumptions about private matters.

If you live your life worrying what others think of you, you will be miserable. You are doing what the church teaches. It is none of anyone’s business. They would be better off looking after their own souls than judging yours.

 

[puzzleannie]

my pastor just made this comment to me, in another connection, quoting a great Jesuit spiritual director, whose name escapes me. I paraphrase: I used to worry a lot about what other people were thinking about me, then I realized, other people are not thinking about me at all. Most people are wrapped up in their own lives and concerns and have not a thought to spare about you or your activities, so don’t sweat it. Just do what is right and follow God’s plan for your life.

 

[LilyM]

Or as Dr Phil would say ‘you wouldn’t worry about what other people think of you if you realised how seldom they do’

Yes people do easily jump to the worst conclusions these days.

I think, however, the obligation has to do with what would be more generally scandalous.

For example if you share a bedroom with an attractive person of the opposite gender and roughly your age group, to whom you’re not related, people of pretty much any society in any period in history would assume that you were possibly sleeping together and would possibly be scandalised.

That would be a clear case where both the message your behaviour is sending and the scandal it could cause are easily foreseeable and should be avoided.