Witness at a secular wedding

[JackieMom]

First, I want to say that I admire the OP for bearing witness to our faith. I am sure you will receive many blessings for your courageous action.

I do not mean to hi-jack this thread, but I was wondering if my husband made a boo-boo several years ago. His brother, a lapsed Catholic, got married to another (but twice divorced) lapsed Catholic in a civil ceremony. My understanding is that she was never married in a Catholic Church wedding.

Did my husband err when he agreed to be a witness to their wedding? At the time, I thought it was possibly wrong, but I didn’t push the issue in order to maintain peace. Now, I am regretting that I didn’t speak up (I was already the bad guy in this family for my orthodox beliefs). Should I insist he confess this next time he goes to confession?

There is no “rule” that says one can never attend an invalid wedding. Rather, the choice to do so must be made very thoughtfully and with spiritual guidance.

Your brother-in-law not only “married” without proper form, but he “married” someone who was already married to another man (assuming no decree of nulity was granted.) It’s too late now to do anything about the wedding day, but I’d have your husband speak to a priest about ongoing involvement with his brother and what limits, if any, should be placed on the relationship.

 

[90Domer]

Thank you! I just spoke with him and insisted that he tell a priest during his next confession.

His brother has been in the military, so we haven’t had much face-to-face interactions with them. I gently asked my SIL about the possibility of having their marriage recognized by the church, but she said she was–and I quote–“pissed off” by the fact that she had to pay a fee to have her previous marriages annulled.

We could not choose either brother to be Godparents, nor are they guardians for much the same reasons. I am glad I held my ground in this respect.

 

[PatriceA]

And she can receive a dispensation from form to do so. Still not seeing the problem of doing things properly.

I’m confused. This would be the SECOND secular wedding for the aunt. Her first husband is deceased, she got remarried in a secular wedding and divorced the second husband. This would be her THIRD marriage. Wouldn’t she have to try and have the second marriage annulled before she would be free to marry in the Church?

 

[90Domer]

I’m confused. This would be the SECOND secular wedding for the aunt. Her first husband is deceased, she got remarried in a secular wedding and divorced the second husband. This would be her THIRD marriage. Wouldn’t she have to try and have the second marriage annulled before she would be free to marry in the Church?

I was confused about this point as well. Is there a good place to go for further reading?

 

[nodito]

I’m confused. This would be the SECOND secular wedding for the aunt. Her first husband is deceased, she got remarried in a secular wedding and divorced the second husband. This would be her THIRD marriage. Wouldn’t she have to try and have the second marriage annulled before she would be free to marry in the Church?

The second marriage is invalid because the aunt is Catholic but did not marry in the Church. She would need to fill out paper work for “lack of form” but since she’s not currently married to her second husband, she’s free to marry in the Church, should she desire to.

 

[PatriceA]

The second marriage is invalid because the aunt is Catholic but did not marry in the Church. She would need to fill out paper work for “lack of form” but since she’s not currently married to her second husband, she’s free to marry in the Church, should she desire to.

Asked my priest yesterday about this when we were at a parish meeting. Even if the second marriage was invalid, if the aunt wanted to marry in the Church, his opinion was that she would still have to seek an annulment which he thinks would be granted. But she wouldn’t be free to marry in the Church until the second marriage was annulled.

 

[nodito]

Asked my priest yesterday about this when we were at a parish meeting. Even if the second marriage was invalid, if the aunt wanted to marry in the Church, his opinion was that she would still have to seek an annulment which he thinks would be granted. But she wouldn’t be free to marry in the Church until the second marriage was annulled.

In the preliminary questionaire, the Tribunal can determine whether a marriage will be a formal case or a “lack of form” case. If a Catholic marries outside of the Church without a dispensation, it requires a documentary “lack of form” case, rather than a formal petition for an anullment. The Tribunal does not investgate the marriage the way it would for a marriage between, say, two Catholics married in front of a priest, in order to to determine its validity…

See archden.org/tribunal/documents/nullity.htm

Perhaps I should not have originally said “free to marry” because you’re right, she does need to complete some paper work prior to marrying in the church to indicate that she previously attempted an invalid marriage outside of the Church.

God bless!

 

[Anglewannabe]

I do not mean to hi-jack this thread,

Should I insist he confess this next time he goes to confession?

I don’t mean to hi-jack either but NO, YOU CAN NOT INSIST your husband confess anything. Confession is private and he is under no obligation to tell you what he said. Also, it is an examination of his conscious that is to be done by HIM not you