Women as a second class

[Presurmksdimnds]

You can totally change this title and or move this thread, I was really unsure what to do with it. I would like to hear other thoughts on something I’ve stumbled across. A close friend of mine was recently hired at a brand new stadium out here in the Santa Clara area, and last night she was reading the new hire tolerance and diversity packets and some of the points were very strange but this one made us both give pause (see image attached).

It seems as though since some cultures/countries treat women as a secondary class, as a rule of thumb employes are to shake hands with women only after having first shaken the hands of the men, or elders.

That bothers me (I am a woman). If I approach you with a group, and I am closest to you, are you really going to walk around me to shake all the men’s hands before mine? I find that SO disrespectful. I understand that conversely a middle easterner might find it disrespectful to have a woman’s hand shaken first, but we are in America?! What about all the women’s rights and ‘social justice’ we’ve fought for? Isn’t this going from ‘tolerance’ to ‘conformity’?

 

[1ke]

Very strange, indeed.

 

[styrgwillidar]

You can totally change this title and or move this thread, I was really unsure what to do with it. I would like to hear other thoughts on something I’ve stumbled across. A close friend of mine was recently hired at a brand new stadium out here in the Santa Clara area, and last night she was reading the new hire tolerance and diversity packets and some of the points were very strange but this one made us both give pause (see image attached).

It seems as though since some cultures/countries treat women as a secondary class, as a rule of thumb employes are to shake hands with women only after having first shaken the hands of the men, or elders.

That bothers me (I am a woman). If I approach you with a group, and I am closest to you, are you really going to walk around me to shake all the men’s hands before mine? I find that SO disrespectful. I understand that conversely a middle easterner might find it disrespectful to have a woman’s hand shaken first, but we are in America?! What about all the women’s rights and ‘social justice’ we’ve fought for? Isn’t this going from ‘tolerance’ to ‘conformity’?

This is going from acknowledging that we have a culture in the US that we are proud of and expecting immigrants to assimilate into and adapt to our culture, to not valuing our culture and supporting and encouraging immigrants to maintain a separate identity and not assimilate.

 

[Took2Long]

It is old and cliché, but I still believe that, “When in Rome do as the Romans do” philosophy. Tolerance is a good thing, but this is an example of tolerance taken to the extreme, in my opinion. If there are other non-dominant cultures that do things differently then we do here in the United States, it is them that should adapt to our norms. After all, when I went to Amsterdam I didn’t chastise anyone for their drug use and legalized prostitution-I simply stayed out of the red-light district. In that case, it was I who had to adapt to the dominant culture, even when it wasn’t “my way of doing things.”

 

[TARRAT]

I would think it not to be a problem to begin with. I think in those cultures the women generally walk behind the men. So the males would be out in front and met by the greeter first. Seems as though this rule isn’t necessary.

 

[Estevao]

The left has a power-ranking of minorities who get the most special treatment, women aren’t that high on it, especially compared to some religions, as you may have seen recently on Bill Maher’s show with that actor from Good Will Hunting.

 

[on_the_hill]

I read in an etiquette book–granted, it was some years ago–when a man is shaking hands with a woman, it is proper for him to wait for the woman to extend her hand first.

I still practice this bit of manners.

 

[Bruised_Reed]

I read in an etiquette book–granted, it was some years ago–when a man is shaking hands with a woman, it is proper for him to wait for the woman to extend her hand first.

I still practice this bit of manners.

I wish more men were aware of this.

 

[edwest2]

You can totally change this title and or move this thread, I was really unsure what to do with it. I would like to hear other thoughts on something I’ve stumbled across. A close friend of mine was recently hired at a brand new stadium out here in the Santa Clara area, and last night she was reading the new hire tolerance and diversity packets and some of the points were very strange but this one made us both give pause (see image attached).

It seems as though since some cultures/countries treat women as a secondary class, as a rule of thumb employes are to shake hands with women only after having first shaken the hands of the men, or elders.

That bothers me (I am a woman). If I approach you with a group, and I am closest to you, are you really going to walk around me to shake all the men’s hands before mine? I find that SO disrespectful. I understand that conversely a middle easterner might find it disrespectful to have a woman’s hand shaken first, but we are in America?! What about all the women’s rights and ‘social justice’ we’ve fought for? Isn’t this going from ‘tolerance’ to ‘conformity’?

Social customs vary from country to country. I was in an American Japanese owned grocery. It was filled with Japanese people who were speaking the language. After I brought my items up to the cashier, he took my money and then bowed about three times. I bowed in return. A Japanese woman who lives in that area asked why she bowed when she met other Japanese people. Her reply was: “It would be impolite not to do so.” Protocol is usually understood by the visiting person, however, his cultural norms may be used since he is not an American. If I were to meet the Pope or the Queen of England, I would ask beforehand, what are the customary forms of address and anything else I should do.

Peace,
Ed

 

[Presurmksdimnds]

Well, I feel much like another person who said, ‘when in Rome’ - if I were visiting another home or country I would respect it’s culture or traditions, unless I morally objected to them in which case I’d remove myself from the situation. I think that’s fair, and vice versa others should show us that same respect. I guess what I can’t wrap my head around is how this is a ‘general rule of thumb’, or, company policy - how is that not a blatantly sexist policy? How do hundreds of people who are hired and have to read and abide by this, not stop and say, ‘wait a minute…’

 

[Xantippe]

In traditional US etiquette, the woman is supposed to offer her hand first. (Although, in situations where there’s a large difference in rank favoring the man, I’m not sure how that works.)

The woman also has to be prepared to deal with people from cultures where men do not shake hands with women (example: Orthodox Jews).

 

[Ridgerunner]

I’ll confess that I don’t feel entirely comfortable shaking hands with women. It seems somehow a bit too close. Even more embarrassing to admit than that, it seems more women than not have very moist hands. Hand lotion one supposes, and sometimes it’s on there pretty heavily. You can’t wipe it off, of course, because that would be rude.