Women - please help!

[Meghan]

condan:

You are right. Women aren’t objects to be ogled at. So why do so many dress that way?

Take a look at women’s magazines sometime. Browse the women’s department at your department-store-of-choice. Watch television. Then you’ll see why some women dress the way they do - they’re socially conditioned to dress that way.

Men aren’t PROGRAMMED to look at a woman’s nether regions. They are socialized to think that is acceptable behavior. The impulse may be there, but men have free will to look or not look. You might glance because, for example, a flash of color from a tattoo caught you eye but if you stare for any prolonged length of time, then it’s your bad, not hers.

I went shopping with my 16-year-old niece and spent eight hours one day looking for a pair of shorts that weren’t obscene in lack of length. We didn’t succeed.

 

[dream_wanderer]

I agree that men should step up. It doesn’t take much to say “You’re not leaving the house in that!” and then stand by it. Just as women shouldn’t bow to social pressure to dress a certain way…men are under no obligation to be treated like a buffon or stupid if they are in fact, not.

So what if they are off-put by dad (shock) telling them what to do. Its what he’s supposed to do. He’s not a disinterested observer.

Women can of course help reinforce it…but the initial rule should come from dad.

Chuck, I don’t think most women are offended by your concerns…its the tone of your posts and the use of phrases like 'Shape up!"

dream wanderer

 

[Chuck]

My point is there is a problem. I’m asking women helping each other to curb it.

What kind of response does a father get from his daughter when he comments on poor dress or behavior? Today’s society portrays men as stupid, out of touch, and oafs. Kindness, careful timing, you name it barely have an impact. Women actively taking on the issue have more success.

Replies that my viewpoint is sexist and it is my problem not to notice (and be offended by) bad behavior is the typical - and shallow - retort by those that really don’t appreciate the problem.

Chuck

 

[Tantum_ergo]

Chuck, you have legitimate concerns and I think most men and women appreciate that. We are only human, and immodest dress is at best distracting and at worst an occasion of sin.

I personally was not so much offended as disconcerted by your post. After all, MEN are immodest too at times in church. Why not address BOTH sexes equally? Especially when you segued into talking, children running around, etc.

Personally, I detest “inclusive” language (on sound scriptural and linguistical grounds) and would never even consider women priests. . .but I do hope that we haven’t become so polarized in the last few decades that we think that ALL practices of 40 years in the church are wrong, or that it’s all due to “feminization” of the mass, or that society marginalizes men so let’s go back to cave man (or at least pre 1920 women’s right to vote days) and everything will be hunky dory.

In other words, I’d do a little less finger-pointing (even in a would-be “helpful” spirit of "Ladies, let’s get your act together). With the current abortion laws, cafeteria Catholicism, and an appalling lack of decent Catholic education in the general populace, one of the LAST places I’d be focusing on right now in the AVERAGE Catholic parish (i.e., not a one but not a one, speaking in a holistic Catholic way), would be that of dress. Don’t make the average person try to run before he can walk. If you are attempting to build reverence, start with reverence to God INSIDE, then OUTSIDE. You’ll find that reverence toward “our neighbor” will naturally follow. IMO.

 

[kamz]

chuck you want me to help other women curb it? If I went up to a woman at church who was scantily dressed and made mention I’m not kidding, I think I would leave church with a messed up face. Some people get real testy about these things and they almost seem to dress scantily to see how others will react, when they see that they are not getting any reaction they usually shape up because at some point they look around and feel pretty silly, but say something? Not me, to my own daughter you bet but thats it buddy, I want to keep my face intact and the ones who come to my church dressed scantily and yes we have some these same gals also have some really big looking biceps and I’m not gonna get myself in any trouble, best to look away, pray and get a life.

 

[Therese_Martin]

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