Women's libido issues

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Veronica_KS

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Hello everyone!

I am struggling to find info on the net (from faithful Catholics) on the issue of low-libido in women, and I am hoping to find others who have found solutions.

My husband and I have been married for 6 years, and I have noticed that I almost never, if ever, actually get “turned on” any more before or even during lovemaking. My husband is NOT the problem, I love him very much, our marriage is wonderful, although we are bearing the stresses of life which might have an impact (family, kids, money, etc,).

My question is, have any women out there found solutions to what seems to be called “Female Sexual Arousal Disorder”?
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_sexual_arousal_disorder

Has anyone had an NFP teacher give any ideas on this?

Thanks!
 
Stress can affect libido due to the connection between Cortisol and Progesterone etc.
Try to do fun and relaxing activities with your husband to reduce your stress levels and in addition there are herbal remedies,targeted to womens libido,that you could try.
 
Interesting!! As far as natural things to help, are there certain ones that come well recommended?

I notice that stress does play a role, certainly, but it seems to prevent relations altogether when it is an issue : S
 
Have you been to your gyno? If you haven’t, make an appointment! You might want to have your hormone levels, in particular, your testosterone level, checked. That is one cause of a low libido. Many drugs are also to blame, especially antidepressants, mood stabilizers and tranquilizers. HTH
 
Veronica_KS said:
Hello everyone!

I am struggling to find info on the net (from faithful Catholics) on the issue of low-libido in women, and I am hoping to find others who have found solutions.

My husband and I have been married for 6 years, and I have noticed that I almost never, if ever, actually get “turned on” any more before or even during lovemaking. My husband is NOT the problem, I love him very much, our marriage is wonderful, although we are bearing the stresses of life which might have an impact (family, kids, money, etc,).

My question is, have any women out there found solutions to what seems to be called “Female Sexual Arousal Disorder”?
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_sexual_arousal_disorder

Has anyone had an NFP teacher give any ideas on this?

Thanks!
Click to expand...
There are a lot of factors which come into play which can diminish a women’s desire, everything from stress, to menopause. High blood pressure, and other medications, can also affect libido. nhs.uk/conditions/loss-of-libido/pages/introduction.aspx

Sensate focusing is one way, without medication to address this issue. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sensate_focusing It is sort of like rebooting a computer, I think.

Other than that, there are medications which can help.
 
Thanks Ladies!

I like both of those ideas. I have seen online where testosterone is mentioned, but I have not seen too many reports of it being successfully used in women. A quick google search seems to tell me that there are many drugs out there being studied for these issues but none are approved as of yet.

Also, and this is all second hand, I’ve spoken with my father about his own use of testosterone over the years (he’s been using it for years b/c of his own hormone issues) and it does have long term consequences. I forget what it was specifically, but now that my brother is going through some of the same issues I know he advised against him taking the synthetic testosterones they use in pharmacies.

Are there any natural supplements that seem to do the trick?

In my case the issue is probably related to being 9 months postpartum and still heavily nursing, but it doesn’t explain issues in the past where I wasn’t nursing nor pregnant. : (

After reading about sensate focusing it seems like a great solution. I think sometimes, esp. when uninspired and pressed for time, love making can become just another thing on the to-do list, and gets “done” without much thought as to how. Not the way God intended it, I’m sure!
 
Does your husband speak to you during lovemaking? I find that when stress is overwhelming me, or even if I am anxious or nervous about the vulnerability of sexual contact, that the tension just drains away if my husband talks quietly to me. “Pillow talk” can be very encouraging and arousing. So if he is not currently doing so, you might want to consider asking him to whisper or talk very quietly to you, and see if that works. He could try saying compliments, or even just narrating the actions he is taking to arouse you. Whatever kind of pillow talk that works for the both of you; the point is to bring in more of your senses into the act of lovemaking, or even just during cuddle time to see where things lead. Hope that helps!
 
I take a more biological view. Right now you feel maxed out with the stresses of life and very young children. You said you’ve been married just 6 years, so I’m assuming you have a baby or toddler.

I find that when it is NOT a great time to have another pregnancy, I don’t want sex. Makes perfect sense - doesn’t it? Our bodies know when we need to focus on the tasks we already have and not create more work for ourselves. Our bodies know when they are not ready to take on the extra stress and work of a pregnancy. In some sense, I think our bodies know when our babies are not ready for a sibling, or when their wellbeing would be compromised if mom got pregnant again. I find this to be part of God’s wise plan for our families, and the reason He makes us infertile after the births of our babies, as long as we follow His plan for nourishing our babies at the breast.

A woman’s sex drive is dependent on a lot of things, but a big part of it is hormonal. You don’t necessarily have something “wrong” with you. If you’ve given birth in the last couple of years, it might just be your normal postpartum balance. I’ve often found that my sex drive improved around 2-3 years postpartum - just about the right time for another baby.

Since sex is both unitive and procreative, you have to be open to both aspects when you have sex with your spouse. You might feel like you want to be close to your husband right now, but not ready to accept the procreative portion (maybe even at the most basic biological level - perhaps your body has not fully recuperated from a previous pregnancy?) I have felt that way in the past. I find that once things ease up and we are ready for another baby, my sex drive returns.
 
Talk to your OB/GYN. Yes, it could be stress or hormones. But it could also be nerve or another kind of damage caused by carrying and delivering your kids. It’s not as common as hormone imbalance or stress, but it happens. So, I say start with your doctor and move from there.

Also, not a fan of herbal supplements. They are unregulated. You literally have no way of knowing where the herbs were grown (heavily polluted soil in China comes to mind here) or the dosage of the herb in each capsule. Just because it is natural and herbal does not mean it is a good idea to ingest it. Remember, lead and a plethora of poisons are all natural. If you truly want to go herbal very carefully research first and be willing to pay through the nose for a quality herb grown in good conditions by a reputable company.

Example, I take a natural multivitamin every day. Getting the ones at the local drug store for about $14 a bottle is nice until you do some digging and find out the ingredients come from questionable sources and the thing is actually not digesting the way nature intended because it is a synthetic and not natural so it is absorbed differently or even not at all. I found a non-synthetic vitamin that does not come from a questionable source, but it it literally 6x the price. Just like with a lot of things, you get what you pay for.
 
I noticed that even after weaning my first son, things didn’t go back to “normal”. I started taking Vitex (also called Chasteberry) and after a few weeks it helped me a great deal.
 
Avocadomom said:

“I find that when it is NOT a great time to have another pregnancy, I don’t want sex. Makes perfect sense - doesn’t it? Our bodies know when we need to focus on the tasks we already have and not create more work for ourselves. Our bodies know when they are not ready to take on the extra stress and work of a pregnancy.”

Yep.
 
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