Working off scrupulosity

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whitechocolatebear

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I am working off scrupulosity.

But, after every confession, even though I ask the priest if my thoughts are sinful, and he gives me a good reason as to why they are not, I will later that day experience more unholy blasphemies and images that pop up or flash through my mind, and knowing that I don’t want them or intend any harm, shunning them immediately, I still feel unclean and incredible guilt.

This is really tourmenting me. Every time this happens, I can’t tell if they originate from my will or from an attacker. Regardless, I never want the thoughts, and always throw them out as quickly as I realize they are there. But the guilt makes me wonder if they’re still my fault and I go on in-between confessions wondering the state of my soul.

I even know the story of martin luther and his extreme scrupulosity, and the quote from the baltimore catechism about this very subject. And I read just last night about servant of God Sr. Mary of St Peter and her similar experience.

Nonetheless, I feel guilty and worry that my soul is in a grey area, I could be damned or I could be guiltless, because I have these flashes of thoughts and it feels like they come from within me. I’ve always had a very active imagination too, Im a visual person.

Can anybody offer some insight? I’ll keep praying, I just want this out of my life. Especially before the second lockdowns.

Peace
 
What other insight do you think anyone here can offer that your priest has not already? You just admitted he gave you good reasons, and still you don’t believe him.

What makes you think anyone here can do any better? If anything, the people here will make your condition worse.

You already know you are guiltless. Whether you let this continue to torment you is completely up to you.
 
I can’t tell if they originate from my will or from an attacker. Regardless, I never want the thoughts, and always throw them out as quickly as I realize they are there
Well there you have it, your will is getting rid of the thoughts. Every little thing that goes through your mind is not your fault (in the will). Almost everyone gets unwanted thoughts. Mere temptations are not sins. Just trust in Jesus. Pray, hope, and don’t worry. Listen to your priest/spiritual director. God bless.
 
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