Worried about going to hell

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LoveAndSparkles

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Feel everything I do is a sin and I’m having a hard time with masturbation. It’s my biggest sin and I can’t control it. I plan on getting my tubes tied and when I’m married will still have my husband use contraceptives. So because of this I’m damned to hell. So why should I follow the other rules in the church anyway now and how could god just throw me away because of that. I’ve disappointed him and all I think about is going to hell all the time. I want to be a good catholic and fully embrace god and keep a strong bond with him that I had growing up. I also dont want to be unhappy in life. I’m extremely unhappy trying to follow commandments and not sin but some sins seem so harmless and stupid to send someone to hell for. Especially someone like me that has always put god first while growing up. How can he just throw me in hell when all my life I’ve been dedicated to trying my best to follow him and do good in the world. I love him more than anything but now this catholic thing is making me overwhelmed thinking how god is never going to come through for me. He doesn’t want me to have things that I want and I don’t want much. I don’t want children and I feel that god is not letting men into my life because of this and it hurts a lot
 
You have an addiction. It will take work but is very possible to overcome. Start with small steps. You need to practice self-mortification. Deny yourself other things that aren’t sinful, like watching tv or eating certain food. Practice small attainable acts of self-mortification and you will improve on denying yourself sexual temptations. It works, you just have to put in effort and be patient. It gets easier but we will always feel the weight of our crosses.
 
You keep posting the same thing over and over.

The answer is the same: you need some serious one on one spiritual direction and counseling.

You have a lot of deep issues.
 
You mentioned earlier that you converted to Catholicism not that long ago. Can you tell me why you converted?

While it is not uncommon for people to want a relationship (whether with people on earth, or God) and to at first idealise the relationship and only focus on the good, and then later to see the good as somehow bad, I’m curious as to how you seem to be addressing a ‘control issue’ with God.

For example, a lot of women might ‘fall in love’ with a man because he is self-confident, clear-spoken, and decisive. The kind of guy who, in a situation that calls for a quick decision, ‘knows what to do’. And yet, after they marry, they start to resent the man and start to look on him as being ‘assertive, aggressive, doesn’t ever ask for my (name removed by moderator)ut, doesn’t listen’. . .etc.

The man is the same man he was when they fell in love with him. The actions he makes are the same actions. What has changed is the other person’s perceptions. They at first focused only on the person’s actions in a positive way; then afterward they began to focus in a negative way.

A lot of times this is why men and women who love each other seem to ‘break up’ and complain that ‘they never really knew the other person —meaning, the other person’s, ‘failures, lacks, wrongs’ etc.

But. . .if a person can stop internalising and taking things as personal attacks, and simply view actions impartially, often they can start to recognise that the man was neither the “knight in shining armor’ nor the evil hateful control freak’; that the man’s persona, a combination of his own upbringing, his strengths, his weaknesses, and his worldview, make him the kind of person who ‘makes quick and confident decisions’. The decisions might sometimes be good, sometimes bad, sometimes ‘neutral’ depending on the perception of the others involved in any given decision.

And so I’m wondering if by chance you are having this kind of perception with God, since you refer to your earlier ‘before Catholic’ relationship as being all happy and God wanted you to have fun, etc., but now you think He ‘hates you’.

Is it, in fact, that your perception of God’s actions (through your knowledge of Him) has changed and you feel that He (or ‘the Church”) is tricking you in some way?
 
Loll how nice and polite of you to answer that way. I like seeing new opinions often and just want so (name removed by moderator)ut from different people. I wasn’t asking about my previous posts. Time has gone on and things changed over time so sorry if I wanna hear some different people’s opinions. I don’t check my old posts I’m concerned only with the new ones I started today
Hope god blesses you to be nicer and more helpful
 
Thanks for your reply I like reading your answer. I felt less pressure when I was Protestant. When I became catholic I starting hearing about rules that aren’t used in other parts of Christianity. I was always taugh sex before marriage was a sin and I understand that one completely. There’s a lot but what stands out and bothers me most is the Catholic rule of being open to life and if not you can’t date or marry.
I understand the negatives of a relationship and I don’t think I romanticize it. Relationships are important to me and I always say you need to date for a long time before marriage so you get to know eachother deeply and know that you really do want to be with this person through ups and downs. My rule to myself is give it 2 years, a lot of couples seem to start to break up after 2 years of they’re not right for eachother I’ve learned from watching friend’s relationships and my parents also as they went through a divorce when I was a kid. I just want more intimacy and stronger of a connection than you get with just. Friend. Marriage and relationships aren’t easy but finding that someone who you can get through the bad parts with and trust in life. I expect there to be some ugly parts of a relationship that’s the point. To make sure you fully know and eachother and want to work things out with even when things aren’t going perfectly
You make me wonder about my perception of god. You make a good point. I wasn’t feeling so oppressed before conversion. It felt like all of a sudden I’m finding out a bunch of things that I can’t do now and it just is overwhelming thinking about how I won’t be happy following more strict rules. While I was Protestant I didn’t feel as criticized and lonely. They were just more open and understanding and I thought of god as this amazing being before I was catholic. I was just drawn to being catholic idk why, I guess it’s gods plan or something, my parents were very open with religion and let us find our faith ourself and before I was catholic I was Episcopalian. It was very close to catholic so I said why not go all in, I love god and I want to be close to him.
Now as a Catholic I’m always scared that god is disappointed in me and I can’t please him. I felt like he isn’t going to give me a life where I feel truest happy because it seems like he isn’t going to let me find a husband. It’s something I’ve wanted for so long. I’ve never had a bf and never have guys pay attention to me. I think I’m just confused lol
 
Thank! That’s really awesome advice. I really appreciate it and I’ll give it a try. I know I’ve don’t that before but it didn’t occur to me to do it now.
 
I agree with you saying I’m blaming god for things. It just seems that way for me and I also know I suck as a human and I’m sad that I will never be able to please him and live exactly how he wants and expects me to
I like to read different opinions and I don’t expect anyone to tell me what to do here and how to handle things and it’s a thing I have to work on with god.
I’m apprehensive in talking to my priest because a very cold person and speaks to me as if I’m a mad person. At least to me that’s how it feels, it’s probably not what he intends to do. I feel worse after talking to priests. I know I’m doing things wrong and I go to them for help and they just scold me and it’s strange.
Thanks for your reply it’ll give me another thing to think about.
 
His is a good point. I think that I just see some sims to be so minor when compared to others. You could be following god everywhere except that one sin and you’ll feel bad and have to keep repenting over and over again. You do his work and keep him close but then go to hell for one thing when you really believed in god and tried to live according to him. It’s hard. I know his rules are to help us. It’s just difficult being on earth with temptation and society how it is now
 
Thanks for your (name removed by moderator)ut! I really appreciate you taking the time to read my post and then share your thoughts. I want to find another priest for sure.
What worries me is having sins that I haven’t congresses or repented for yet. I often ask god for forgiveness but I feel like it’s not good enough and he will think I’m turning my back on him. I love him, he’s been a part of my life ever since I could speak. He’s very important to me and it just feels weird to know I’m sinning and if I died randomly with my un confessed sin, that he would pass me over to hell. All I want is to please him and do what he wants it’s just very hard sometimes and I find myself in constant prayer about this issue.
 
Yes of course. I haven’t been over to the church in a long time because of Covid. I also don’t drive and the church isn’t super close by. I usually go to mass with my best friend and she drives. They’re doing drive through confessions right now. I’m also just in constant prayer through out the day and I ask for forgiveness that way but it doesn’t feel like it’s the same even though thatsis what I learned growing up a Protestant.
 
I have a general agreement with the things said in previous comments. I would like to add a personal not though.

I was once in your situation. I was a frequently sinning especially in sexual sins. I also had thought to myself that these seemed like sins that didn’t make sense, like I’m not hurting anyone, right?

This had been my feelings towards my sins for a while even with consistent prayer and repentance. But as I continued praying and not giving up hope, the Lord set me free! I had really not done much besides prayer and repentance and it worked and always will. I think that you’ll find this the same way that as you pray you will feel as if nothing is happening. And as you repent, you constantly fall back into the put of sin. But I assure you, that if you constantly get back up turning your eyes to the Lord never losing sight of him, he will provide with the means to set you free from the clutches if the devil.

As to the attitude we should have to certain natural laws the Lord gives us, I think its important to note that the Lord has his ways and only the Lord can explain, in the purest form, why some natural laws exist. A good example of this would be looking back to Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve were created in Gods image, but when the devil tempted them, they had fallen into the trap of Godliness; Godliness as in making defying God by making your own rules based on subjective matters (personal opinions).

This is what we need to think about today. Just because something feel sright, does not mean it justified. Many things can feel right. But if you think about it anything can feel right. If a child is raised to believe that killing is a good thing, it will seem justified to kill people and it would be silly to him if any laws were made against it. You see, natural law (objective morality) exists a necessarily because if it were not the case the world would be chaos because everyone could justify their actions solely on their feelings.

All in all, God bless you!
 
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