Worried whether or not I committed a mortal sin due to this particular dream

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There’s this dream that has been bugging me for the past month, making me wonder if it is a mortal sin. I’m not sure if I’m just being scrupulous, though I do have some OCD symptoms. I had an impure dream (to make things worse, it involved a priest 😟). Although I am aware that dreams don’t really count because it is not deliberate (as is required for a mortal sin), but what happened was that I was having a disturbing dream and I woke up, thankful that it was just a dream.

Then, I closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep. You know how dreams sometimes continue after you wake up for a while and try to fall asleep again? That’s what happened 😟 The dream continued for a little while longer, maybe only a few seconds but I’m not really sure (I really hope it wasn’t longer than a few seconds). I opened my eyes once again in a state of panic, thinking “WHY IS THE DREAM CONTINUING?!!” and tried to deliberately think of other things. I managed to go back to sleep immediately and the dream was gone. When I woke up later after my alarm rang, I was worried that I had committed a mortal sin and I continued worrying all morning and was unsure whether I had received the Eucharist unworthily when I went to Mass that day. This worry has been occurring on and off for the past month or so.

I keep thinking that since I had just woken up before the second part of the dream, it means that I would’ve been culpable for those thoughts, due to being partially awake. I keep feeling guilty that I didn’t stop the dream when it was continuing. At times, I feel anxious and have a need to confess it, and other times, I feel that I don’t have to since it wasn’t fully deliberate due to being only partially and not fully awake.

I keep wondering why I hadn’t stopped the dream earlier. Part of me believes it was because I thought the dream would fade away. This is also how I handle my OCD-like intrusive thoughts, since I find that when I just ignore the thoughts and let them pass, they tend to go away on their own instead of trying to resist those thoughts which makes it worse. So maybe once I realised it wasn’t just my intrusive thoughts, I opened my eyes to stop it. But I have so much doubt, thinking that maybe I was actually indulging in the thoughts (since I did feel a bit aroused) and I’m now making excuses.

The tough part is wondering if the anxiety is justified or not. I find my anxiety towards this matter similar to my OCD tendencies for cleanliness. I often doubt if something is clean even though I’ve gotten reassurance from others, and feel the need to clean/wash my hands. In this case, I have the need to Confess to eliminate the anxiety. But maybe the anxiety is justified and I might have actually sinned, thus in need of confessing it.

Sorry if this post is a mess and difficult to understand, and thanks so much for taking the time to read. Any advice would be much appreciated 🙂
 
You can’t really stop a dream… that’s not the way dreams work. Even in lucid dreams, you don’t generally have teh ability to stop or start it.

Do not worry, you’re fine. You are not responsible for your dreams. This is just anxiety.
 
It all means you love God but you’re confusing love with sex.

Very easily done for many people.

God bless and help you sleep better.
 
It’s just that I did wake up right before it continued again so I might have been more awake during the second part so I might have had some control…I’m not really sure. And I’m worried that the dream might have tempted me to have some impure thoughts, so I’m difficulty differentiating if that part was merely a dream or that I also had some actual impure thoughts. Argh…anxiety’s tough to deal with. Anyway, thanks so much for the advice!
 
If you’re OCD, I encourage you to seek help from a priest in person and not the forums.
 
I’m familiar with the sensation. You’re laying in bed, kind of half-awake, and your mind is wandering through all kings of stuff it shouldn’t be.

Personally, I don’t think that sort of stuff is necessarily a mortal sin, since you’re not really awake yet, but I still like to confess it just to be sure.
 
To those who have responded, though your intentions are likely admirable, this kind of deliberation does not help someone showing signs of OCD and scrupulosity.

To the OP, please seek the help of your priest and maybe a counselor, and refrain from asking these kinds of questions on internet forums. You will get a variety of opinions from a variety of people who may or may not be qualified to assist you. This will lead to further anxiety and to further reassurance seeking.

You are in my prayers.

-Fr ACEGC
 
Thank you for the advice! I’m aware that the reassurance seeking is quite detrimental, but I also have rather severe social anxiety which makes talking to a priest face to face a struggle, thus why I decided seek help here, where there’s anonymity.
 
As far as dreams are understood they are, to put it in very simple layman’s terms, the brain going a little mad while we are a sleep. Nothing you dream is a deliberate conscious choice and therefore would lack the culpability required for it to be a sin.

On the issue of scrupulosity I would advise you to talk to a priest as confessor or spiritual director with whom you feel comfortable. He is in a far better position to help you with this than strangers on the Net.

Similarly with OCD you need to have that managed by a suitably experienced healthcare professional.
 
The minute you said “dream”, I said, “Nope, there was not free will. It can’t be mortal. It can’t even be venial IMO.”
 
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