Worst wedding ever

[hearye]

Hi all. I think this is the first time I’ve posted a question here. Thanks in advance for your thoughtful reply.
Last weekend I went to the worst wedding I’ve ever been to. It was beautiful, the accomodations and food was great, though dateless, I was seated with good friends and their husbands which was enjoyable…the wedding itself was just sad and upsetting though. The bride was a girl I went to school with. She and her now husband had been together for 13 years…since they were 17. They lived together for several years. I had only met her husband a few times, and never really liked him, though in the past couple meetings since their engagement I had enjoyed him more, and thought maybe he was maturing. He’s from a very well-off family and is very smart, makes tons of money I’m sure in an investment-type job. I think that he feels that’s enough for him, that’s where his ‘power’ or ‘strength’ is. That’s what’s important to him. My friend had told me that he doesn’t believe in God and had never wanted to get married. She is much different in my view, and wanted marriage herself, but ‘accepted’ that he didn’t. He commented once that if you don’t have a big reception, then why get married… I thought he was kidding.
So, they got married outdoors in the courtyard outside of the reception hall. A woman minister married them. The ceremony was hard to watch. He was aloof the whole time while she seemed to really be picturing her fairy tale wedding. When it was time to kiss the bride, he gave her a peck and then turned to his parents making a gesture like “ok, so I married her, I did it, happy?” At the reception she was feeling hot and sick and got a coke for herself. She started to drink it and her husband came and said he wanted to dance and pulled her onto the dance floor. She put on a happy face and seemed to play the part she was ‘supposed to’ then.
I’m afraid that one of these two things happen:

1. She’ll get her senses back and leave him within a year. I’m not a proponent of divorce, but this is a possibility I can see.
2. She’ll live ‘happily ever after’ with this guy.

I’m praying that though he didn’t acknowledge it, somehow God will get into him and her and their marriage anyway.

After all that story, my question is this:
I was relaying the story to a Catholic friend, and she commented “At least they didn’t get married in the Church, because having gotten married outside, the Church doesn’t recognize the marriage…if she leaves him, she won’t even need an annulment if she ever wanted to get married for real”

Is that true?
Thanks

 

[manualman]

Not true.

As far as I know, the church presumes a marriage, evena protestant one is valid until a tribunal determines otherwise.

Sadly, you DO describe what may well be some major defects on his part.

 

[axolotl]

hearye:

After all that story, my question is this:
I was relaying the story to a Catholic friend, and she commented “At least they didn’t get married in the Church, because having gotten married outside, the Church doesn’t recognize the marriage…if she leaves him, she won’t even need an annulment if she ever wanted to get married for real”

Is that true?
Thanks

Canon law requires that Catholics be married in the Church or have a dispensation. However, the Church presumes that marriages are valid until proven otherwise. She will need an anulment, but it should be relatively easy claiming “invalid form”. So, No and Yes.

Plus what manualman said. If your friend is protestant, it would be valid, and she would need an anulment if she wanted to marry a Catholic in the Church. And it wouldn’t be a slam-dunk invalid form one, either.

 

[puzzleannie]

very sad story, sounds like your friend has been living in a fantasy world for 13 years, and is now finally going to have to confront reality. let us pray for her, and hope you will be there for her when she needs you. went thru a similar scenario with two friends from work, but the ending was different, every year she would be planning their wedding, after 12 years he went off on a business trip and came back married to someone else.

 

[La_Chiara]

hearye:

I’m afraid that one of these two things happen:

1. She’ll get her senses back and leave him within a year. I’m not a proponent of divorce, but this is a possibility I can see.
2. She’ll live ‘happily ever after’ with this guy.

1. He’ll split–certainly before the 5th wedding anniversary, if not sooner.

I predict scenario number 3. Unfortunately for her.

 

[hearye]

Thanks for your responses.
It is terribly sad. I have to believe that God gets to everyone in His own time though, so I have some hope…though practically not a lot.
I spent nearly the whole wedding with my eyes closed, praying for God to make His presence known in their relationship.
I appreciate all the prayers of those here.
Thank you.
God bless!

 

[KiwiCatholic86]

Perhaps your Catholic friend was making a reference to Pauline or Petrine privilege. Were both parties baptised?