Would I Be Welcomed?

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After several decades of being an atheist/agnostic, I have begun to explore what I really believe. I was raised and baptized as a Southern Baptist and I have zero desire to go back there - it wasn’t the greatest experience when I was younger and in the intervening years, they seem to have morphed into an incredibly negative entity. I have long been drawn to Catholicism for reasons I can’t really explain, so I’ve been thinking about RCIA, but I have some concerns.

My first issue is that I’m not only not sure of what I believe, I don’t know IF I believe. I’m not fighting belief. In fact, I want to believe - but I’m just not there yet. I am a rather unemotional person by nature - and far to logical for my own good sometimes - so that may be part of the problem. So the first question is, would RCIA be a waste of time if I don’t even know if I believe?

The second issue is that I’m gay. I’ve always been gay and I’ll always be gay. Its not the driving force in my life, its just part of who I am. I’ve heard different things about whether or not gays are welcome in the Church, and I’m just wondering what the general consensus is? The last thing anyone wants, I suppose, is to go somewhere where they aren’t wanted. Especially when you’re trying to sort out perhaps the biggest question in life - is there a God and what is my relationship with Him?

Any thoughts are gratefully received…
 
Hi Traveler

I don’t think it’s possible to give a simple answer to the question of whether you’ll be welcomed as a gay person. Some will welcome you unconditionally, others will welcome you conditionally (e.g. on you not pursuing that part of your personality), some will be fine so long as you don’t make a big thing of it, and others will simply feel unable to embrace and welcome you. Different people in the same parish will likely treat you differently, and different parish priests will likely welcome you differently. My advice would be that, if you have a choice, make an appointment to see different parish priests and be totally open with them. Hopefully you’ll find a warm welcome by a priest somewhere and then that will probably ease your way into things.

But yes, RCIA, *should *be about exploration, and I would hope and pray it blesses you whatever you then decide.

I pray you find a welcome.

God bless +

Michael
 
RCIA is designed for people like you.

I know a gay man who is very feminine (carries a man purse, sometimes wears shirts that look like a blouse, etc), but he attends daily mass every day and prays the rosary after mass. Usually, he refrains from communion, but I saw him receive this past Sunday (first time I’ve seen him do that in over a year).

Because he normally refrains, when I saw him receive I immediately assumed that he is now (if he wasn’t before) living a chaste life and made a good confession.

It’s obvious to me that God is important to him and that he is receiving graces from attending daily mass and rosary.

So yes… You would be welcomed. Though remember that the Church is a hospital filled with sinners, not a museum of saints. Some ppl may not act appropriately (just like they may not when they encounter non-English speakers in their parish, or whatever). Some individual people are always against people who are not like them (different nationality, sexuality, politically, economically, etc). But they don’t speak for the Church.

Note: while you will be officially always welcome to attend Mass, you may or may not need to refrain from communion if you are not chaste (just like heterosexuals must refrain if they are not living a chaste life).

BTW - the reason you are being called to the Catholic Church is because The Holy Spirit is calling you home! 👍

God Bless you and may The Lord guide you on your quest to fine His Truth.
 
Thank you both for your comments.

I’m a pretty low key, quiet type of person. Definitely not an “out there” kind of gay person. That’s never really been my style. As I said, its just part of who I am, not my defining characteristic.

I just wanted to make sure that there wouldn’t be a “what on earth are you doing here?!?” reaction overall. Sounds like there probably wouldn’t be.

Speaking with a priest is probably a wise idea, although it does make me a bit nervous for some reason 🙂
 
why would you tell anyone? i don’t tell anyone i’m heterosexual, and no one asks. God bless!
 
I am a leader of an Inquirer’s Class. Inquirer’s class is basically the first part of the RCIA process, and is a time to discern and ask a lot of questions! It is the perfect place to begin your journey. In it you will find others who also are questioning- and it isn’t unusual to have someone in class who is agnostic but drawn by the Holy Spirit. There is no expectation that a member of our class will join the church, although most decide to move on up into RCIA and receive more advanced catechizes. The only expectation we have is that you will learn and have your questions answered as you discern. We have had several gay people in our class over the last year, I suspect- but the subject just never came up. Your sexual preference isn’t really relevant. Most important to us is your journey towards God. So, definitely take the first step and reach out. If your parish has year-round RCIA, you may find yourself in Inquirer’s before you know it. If not, you may have to wait until they begin again next fall. I will be keeping you in my prayers that you will find a warm welcome home to the church and a place to ask all of your questions.
 
Traveler8750 said:
After several decades of being an atheist/agnostic, I have begun to explore what I really believe. I was raised and baptized as a Southern Baptist and I have zero desire to go back there - it wasn’t the greatest experience when I was younger and in the intervening years, they seem to have morphed into an incredibly negative entity. I have long been drawn to Catholicism for reasons I can’t really explain, so I’ve been thinking about RCIA, but I have some concerns.

My first issue is that I’m not only not sure of what I believe, I don’t know IF I believe. I’m not fighting belief. In fact, I want to believe - but I’m just not there yet. I am a rather unemotional person by nature - and far to logical for my own good sometimes - so that may be part of the problem. So the first question is, would RCIA be a waste of time if I don’t even know if I believe?

The second issue is that I’m gay. I’ve always been gay and I’ll always be gay. Its not the driving force in my life, its just part of who I am. I’ve heard different things about whether or not gays are welcome in the Church, and I’m just wondering what the general consensus is? The last thing anyone wants, I suppose, is to go somewhere where they aren’t wanted. Especially when you’re trying to sort out perhaps the biggest question in life - is there a God and what is my relationship with Him?

Any thoughts are gratefully received…
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Despite what you will read on this forum, the Church actually teaches that we are to treat every human being with dignity and respect and that no person’s humanity should be reduced to a sexual orientation because ALL are made in the image of God. The previous poster, bisco, asked a good question. No one needs to know you are gay; it is only the gay posters who insist on telling us they are gay; why they do so is an answer we have never received. If you are a sincere seeker of Truth you will be more than welcomed and at an appropriate time, you could discuss your situation in privacy with a priest who will lead you into the gospel message concerning salvation. Prayer is an absolute must, of course and if you truly wish to find God, that is a supplication that will never go unheard by the Holy Spirit.

Please come check us out and beware some RCIA programs are not as solid in teaching as others so I’d recommend a good orthodox program. It is a very beautiful thing when someone comes into the light of grace and truth. Ask for guidance and you are certain to receive it. May you be richly blessed!
 
To answer those of you who asked - its not like I would walk in and say, “Hi - is the right room? I’m the gay guy…” 🙂

The reason I asked (and perhaps others have asked) is that because there is always the chance - probably the likelihood - that it will come up. I think this is especially true in any type of open learning environment such as a class (I’m assuming RCIA is something like a very discussion heavy class).

As a matter of course, I would think that someone will ask a personal question (have you ever been married, that kind of thing) that would lead to an answer that is reflective of my sexuality.

So again, I’m not a ‘out there’ kind of person, but I neither hide my orientation when asked nor do I lie about it. Both of those options would be wrong.

I hope that answers the question…
 
What I know from living in the big city, is that even if one parish does not seem so welcoming, there are others which are very welcoming. Since you are in Chicago, I imagine it would be the same. If being gay is the issue of possible contention, there are parishes here in L.A. that have made outreach to the gay community a priority. There are other parishes where discussion of sexual orientation never comes up. My point is, don’t let that stop you from exploring the RCIA, and God bless you on your journey!
 
christofirst said:
What I know from living in the big city, is that even if one parish does not seem so welcoming, there are others which are very welcoming. Since you are in Chicago, I imagine it would be the same. If being gay is the issue of possible contention, there are parishes here in L.A. that have made outreach to the gay community a priority. There are other parishes where discussion of sexual orientation never comes up. My point is, don’t let that stop you from exploring the RCIA, and God bless you on your journey!
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Actually, I recently moved to Tampa - forgot to update my profile.
 
Traveler8750 said:
Actually, I recently moved to Tampa - forgot to update my profile.
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You’ll be fine. The priest will welcome you as will the RCIA group. Don’t be nervous.
Everyone is dealing with something personal. It’s no one’s business.
Welcome, welcome!
May the Lord continue to bless you on the journey, and may you find your relationship with the One who loves us deeply growing closer each day.
Thank you for sharing your concerns. It likely will help someone else.
May you find Christ’s peace and love.
Clare
 
Traveler8750 said:
Actually, I recently moved to Tampa - forgot to update my profile.
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You are a traveler indeed. 🙂
My point still stands, if you encounter a particular parish where you do not feel comfortable or welcomed, seek out another. Different parishes sometimes develop a kind of group personality, which may or may not be to your liking. Don’t let that stop you from the seeking the greater good. And like Clare says, you’ll be fine.
 
Hi 🙂 As to your first issue… I think that RCIA is the right thing for you… something’s drawing you to Catholicism so it’s a chance for you to explore what that is. RCIA is the inquiry stage, and a chance to find out what we believe and gives you a chance to get any questions answered… this can take as long as you like.

The second issue… yes, there’s the chance of a relationship with God. 🙂

The other angle … it’s true that there’s always a possibility of rejection from individuals as this is the nature of people, so this could happen anywhere and at any time… anywhere you go really. However, the Church actually teaches us not to identify people by their sexual orientation because each person is endowed with unique dignity which is to be respect at all times.

I agree with what the other posters have said about approaching the Priest. I think it would be important to see where it leads you.
 
are you a practicing homosexual, or same sex attracted, but living a chaste life? honestly, i think it might be a mindset homosexuals have, i have never been asked a personal question in any walk of life that would lead me to have to tell someone my sexual attractions and desires.

keep in mind, to the catholic church, homosexual activity is no worse a sin than fornication or adultery. and they are all private between the sinner and their confessor. now if you go and tell someone your are same sex attracted, you never know what kind of reaction you will get, inside or outside the church. but seeing we are all sinners, one would hope for a loving reception inside the church. no guarantees though.

i don’t tell anyone my sins but God, and that trough His representatives here on earth. no one else need know. God bless!
 
Remember, all are welcomed. Praying to the Holy Spirit to give you guidance, direction, strength, fortitude & wisdom in your time of need.
 
Traveler8750 said:
The second issue is that I’m gay. I’ve always been gay and I’ll always be gay. Its not the driving force in my life, its just part of who I am. I’ve heard different things about whether or not gays are welcome in the Church, and I’m just wondering what the general consensus is? The last thing anyone wants, I suppose, is to go somewhere where they aren’t wanted. Especially when you’re trying to sort out perhaps the biggest question in life - is there a God and what is my relationship with Him?

Any thoughts are gratefully received…
Click to expand...
The Catechism of the Roman Catholic Church is VERY clear on the issue.

“2357 Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons of the same sex. It has taken a great variety of forms through the centuries and in different cultures. Its psychological genesis remains largely unexplained. Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity, tradition has always declared that "homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered. They are contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved.

2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.

2359 Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.”

That having been said, you are probably wondering what that all means. In the Youth Catechism (YOUCAT), it simplifies these three paragraphs of the CCC into two paragraphs that are understandable to the youth of today. The YOUCAT says the following:

“The Church believes that, in the order of creation, man and woman are designed to need each other’s complementary traits and to enter into a mutual relationship so as to give life to children. That is why homosexual practices cannot be approved by the Church. Christians owe all persons respect and love, however, regardless of their sexual orientation, because all people are respected and loved by God. [2358–2359]”

“There is no man on earth who is not descended from a union of a mother and a father. Therefore it is a painful experience for many homosexually oriented people that they do not feel erotically attracted to the opposite sex and necessarily miss out on the physical fruitfulness of the union between man and woman according to human nature and the divine order of creation. Nevertheless, God often leads souls to himself along unusual paths: a lack, a loss, or a wound—if accepted and affirmed—can become a springboard for throwing oneself into the arms of God: the God who brings good out of everything and whose greatness can be discovered in redemption even more than in creation.”

So what does all of this this mean? Does the Roman Catholic Church condemn Homosexuality? Yes and no. Although the Roman Catholic Church DOES NOT condemn the person who is homosexual, they condemn the ACT of homosexuality which is to say, the sexual aspect.

Hope this helped
 
RCIA is perfect for you because it’s designed especially for people who just want to test the waters and see what Catholicism is all about. The first stage of RCIA is just for that purpose… basically just to meet and greet and talk about what you’re “looking for” and what you believe and find out where that can find its home in the Church. It’s not just for people who have “made the decision”… it’s especially for those who are on the fence and deciding. There’s absolutely no pressure. This isn’t some cult where they’re going to “love-bomb” you with wide smiles and then start sales-pitching you… it’s very casual, almost too casual at times. In fact, in some places, you may have to be the one to stand up and remind them… “hey I want to convert” … because they’re usually in no rush. It’s all done on your time, according to your readiness, according to your desire for it.

I’m not exactly heterosexual myself and I got to be honest, nobody has ever bothered me about it. The reason is because in Christ’s Church, you are loved for who you are, not what you are. That, and it’s very easy to fly under the radar. As someone who is a very shy person, I’ve never encountered a more low-pressure environment as I have in the Church. Nobody asks questions. They just serve one another and pray for one another and go about their devotions and daily lives in peace… so don’t worry about anything.

It’s nobody’s business to ask you about your sexual orientation, and if they do, you can tell them it’s personal and you’d rather not talk about it. Everyone is struggling with something and the Church takes all comers because that’s what Jesus did, so you would be more than welcome by Him. If you feel the need to bring up in the RCIA process, by all means. Nobody’s going to ask questions or grill you. In fact, they’re probably going to admire your courage and honesty and direct you to resources in the parish or in the diocese that cater to the needs of people like you. They LOVE doing things like that for people.
 
You will find Catholics very welcoming compared to baptists. Seriously.

Among the Catholics I have associated with so far, since my conversion, they seem to view the command “judge not that you be not judged” so strongly they worry far more about being guilty of judging someone else than worrying about what that person is doing.

In my parish there is an period of inquiry prior to the start of RCIA. Stop by. They will never pressure you to move forward. Its a come, ask the questions you want, if you want and if you don’t want to thats ok too attitude. Myself I kept going and bailing out for like 3 or 4 years before I joined. Never was I pushed or pressured I was graciously accepted for where I was in my journey.

You might even consider talking to a priest. Not a “father I need to confess” but rather an honest here is where i am in life, here are my questions, and see what he says. You’ll be surprised. They are very loving and sensitive to every situation and will be nothing but gracious. God knows the things I’ve talked to them about and they didn’t get after me either… ] If it takes a bit to get some time with the priest don’t view it personally, they are generally very busy. In my case they answered some of my questions.

God bless you on your journey.
 
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