Would it be weird to go to a funeral Mass of a person I don't know

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So there’s a Mass on Wednesday in my parish at a very convenient time… but it is a funeral and I’m a bit young and this is a very small community. Would it be weird and/or disrespectful if I’d go and do they generally last more than any other Mass? Are there likely to be others such as myself who didn’t know the deceased? Generally how much would I stick out? Cheers.
 
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No.

Every Catholic funeral Mass I’ve ever been to, random Catholic parishoners show up to pray with us.

At both my grandparents funerals, I was delighted to see parishoners praying with my family and I.

Just sit a few rows behind the family and give them space.
 
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When I was a Freshman in college one of the old presidents died. I never knew the man but I went to his funeral. I don’t think it is weird going to an unknown person’s funeral. Remember one of the corporal works of mercy is to bury the dead.
 
I don’t see a problem. As long as you are respectful and stay in the distance. I can understand your motivation. I think we can learn a lot about life, through death. It is all something we have to face sooner or later.
 
I went to a mass on one Tuesday noon some weeks ago at a neighbouring parish. Didn’t know there would be a funeral at the same time so I was well seen in my bright coloured clothes among everyone´s black.
 
I accidentally went at a memorial Mass or something like that 2 Saturdays ago. It was for somebody who died a while ago so nobody was mournig. They were all family, sat together… nice and cheery, I thought “How cute”. This was outisde of Lent and the priest was wearing violet which was weird and many men were dressed in costume and we were told to get hymn books (we only sing on Sundays) which made my inexperienced self think… oh a wedding or a baptism; how cute! I think the priest saw the smile on my face when I was walking outside trying not to laugh because the whole thing was like something out of the movies… yeah not a baptism or wedding at all.
 
I think it’s fine, although I would sit a bit back from the family. But as long as you’re respectful, I don’t see a problem.
 
When I’m running errands in a nearby city, about an hour away from me, I like to carve out a little time around lunch to go to the noon Mass at one of the churches. Because my errands aren’t always the cleanest work-- like buying lumber-- I’m not always dressed the best.

One day, I went to go to church, and saw the hearse outside the front door. I looked at my clothes-- a hoodie, jeans, a t-shirt-- and thought, “Do I really want to intrude on their funeral like this?” But I decided I would go-- but I’d just sit in the back, out of the way, so that I didn’t bother anyone.

When I got inside, I saw several people I knew from my church-- an hour away. “Oh, I’m so glad you could make it!” one of them said. She gave me a big hug. I had no clue who the funeral was for.

It turned out, it was a funeral for her twin grandbabies, who had died at about six months’ gestation.

I was always so glad that I didn’t let my feelings of “I’m dressed wrong” or “I don’t want to intrude” get in the way of my being there that day. It was really amazing and beautiful, hearing what those babies had accomplished-- even before they were born.

You’re not always going to be able to see the effect your presence had. But we’re all part of a bigger community. Go on, be there, and add your prayers-- for the deceased, for the family left behind, for the friends. It’s a work of mercy-- to pray for the living and the dead-- so don’t worry about other people being critical that you’re doing it wrong. 🙂
 
Violet is a valid liturgical color for a funeral in the OF.

I have attended countless funerals for people I didn’t know. As others have said, as long as you are discreet (sitting apart from the family) and respectful, there is no problem with it. Funerals are public events in the Church, so the presence of unknown people at a funeral is not inherently intrusive.
 
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It’s not a problem. There are frequently people in a parish who attend many funerals, often because they want to pray for the dead, or they see it as their mission to attend funerals of parishioners even if they didn’t know them, or they are pondering death on some level, or they are simply elderly retired people who don’t have anything else to do.

If you look and behave appropriately and sit a ways back from the family, it is fine and they will probably assume you knew the deceased in some way. An older gentleman we didn’t know came to my mother-in-law’s funeral. It turns out that when she was in her first year teaching, which had to be around 1950 or even before, this man had been in her class and he along with his male classmates had had a big crush on the pretty new young teacher. He never forgot her and when he saw her notice in the paper he came down and paid his respects.
 
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I don’t see any problem with your being there. We don’t have to know everyone personally in order to pray for them. And your presence will be of comfort to the family even if you didn’t know the deceased.
 
Ioana said:
So there’s a Mass on Wednesday in my parish at a very convenient time… but it is a funeral and I’m a bit young and this is a very small community.
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Especially since you are a member of the parish, I don’t think its a problem at all.

Although even if you weren’t , and were just passing through town, it would still be ok.
 
Recently a Parishoner with no next of kin or friends died. He had noone. The Clergy started advertising his funeral Mass and asked anyone who could, to come to it. The choir was organised. The deceased, a refugee of WW11 had a big funeral Mass. Everyone went to his burial and those who could, attended his wake.
Most had never met him.

Its how a Parish community should work a community.
 
That’s beautiful. As one of the lectors at our parish, I occasionally attend funeral masses of people I didn’t know. I am humbled and honored to pray for those that can no longer pray for themselves, whether I knew them or not.
 
It truly was a beautiful Funeral Mass. It brought home the true meaning of Community.
 
midori said:
When I’m running errands in a nearby city, about an hour away from me, I like to carve out a little time around lunch to go to the noon Mass at one of the churches. Because my errands aren’t always the cleanest work-- like buying lumber-- I’m not always dressed the best.

One day, I went to go to church, and saw the hearse outside the front door. I looked at my clothes-- a hoodie, jeans, a t-shirt-- and thought, “Do I really want to intrude on their funeral like this?” But I decided I would go-- but I’d just sit in the back, out of the way, so that I didn’t bother anyone.

When I got inside, I saw several people I knew from my church-- an hour away. “Oh, I’m so glad you could make it!” one of them said. She gave me a big hug. I had no clue who the funeral was for.

It turned out, it was a funeral for her twin grandbabies, who had died at about six months’ gestation.

I was always so glad that I didn’t let my feelings of “I’m dressed wrong” or “I don’t want to intrude” get in the way of my being there that day. It was really amazing and beautiful, hearing what those babies had accomplished-- even before they were born.

You’re not always going to be able to see the effect your presence had. But we’re all part of a bigger community. Go on, be there, and add your prayers-- for the deceased, for the family left behind, for the friends. It’s a work of mercy-- to pray for the living and the dead-- so don’t worry about other people being critical that you’re doing it wrong.
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I want to like this beautiful post, but I’m all out of likes for today
 
Thank you all for your replies. It does say Funeral Service (not Mass) in the newsletter so could it be possible that the service is non-Eucharistic? Also are these Masses generally about 1 hour long?
 
Ioana said:
So there’s a Mass on Wednesday in my parish at a very convenient time… but it is a funeral and I’m a bit young and this is a very small community. Would it be weird and/or disrespectful if I’d go and do they generally last more than any other Mass? Are there likely to be others such as myself who didn’t know the deceased? Generally how much would I stick out? Cheers.
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It is still a public mass that you can go to. I am sure the bereaved family would be glad that you come. Depend on your location, there probably will be others in your situation, one way or the other.

Go if you want to.

God bless.
 
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